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SomebodySomeone (2)
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Saturday, March 07, 2009

I, yellowfrizbee, almost died - 3/6/09

Current mood: Courageous

Views: 729
Comments: 13
Warning: This post contains language and dramatized situations not suitable for children. Viewers discretion is advised. Oh. And its ****ing long for no reason.

Chap. 1

Alright, so I invited about 4 of my friends over to go canoeing with me. Sounds nice so far, right? Ahem..so I put a silly little sailor hat, get my oars and life jacket and im ready to lead this mother****ing party! We step in the water, start pushing the cannoe out and WOAH its like..cold. Pshh thats ok..we dont mind..we are mother****ing canoers.

SO, as the story continues..I, like I said, am the leader (I know how to pump up a crowd..yeah Jacquie doesnt do the rowing). Me and three of my girl friends plus my sister and I are in one canoe, and my dude friend I invited along is in the Kayak. So we are pushin along, im leading my crew in a few light hearted and totally improvised in the moment songs I made up; of course about Mr. Kayak man. These were not happy songs, oh no. These were more of friendly competetive songs aimed towards Mr. Macho Kayak man.

My songs of "YOU SUCK" didnt go down well with Mr. Kayak Man ...he, although way ahead of us, turned his little kayak around and rammed us fullspeed a new one. Oh dear lord! My crew was falling apart right before my eyes I had to think quick! The boat was a-rockin due to the frantic panic of my dear crew. Alas..I couldnt salvage them it was too late...THE CANOE STARTED SINKING BELLY UP LIKE THE TITANIC! Bastard!

Chap. 2

It was only till then that I realized..that it was at least a solid 60 degrees in the water and 70 degrees above..you may be muttering to yourself "Psshh..60 degrees? Thats not that cold you big baby" And youre only half right..we prefer to be called "Pansy Floridians", thank you very much. But moving on..60 degree water truly feels like 30 degrees in that situation ! Plus your body temperature is like 98 degrees..a 30 degree drop within seconds isnt exactly fun no matter who you are ! Anyways though, we were a good 100 yards (lololol all that and only 100 yards) away from the nearest dock. We were too cold to flip the canoe back over..so I did the captainly thing and PADDLED MY ASS AND JUMPED ON THAT MOFO FOR MYSELF! EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF MAN! checked to see if my poor damp crew was alright.. Then..climbed up on that capsized canoe like a quick ****er..you know..for strategic measures and what not <__<!

Anyways, Ill save you the details since Ive drawn this out long enough. Basically in a nutshell Mr. Macho Kayak man ended up being our savoir..pulling all our asses 100 yards to dock with the canoe dragging behind him ! It took probably 10 minutes..but at last we were saved we all took a wonderful orgy shower together afterwards and everyone lived happily ever after.....in the shower.

•Moral of the story: Jacquie should not go canoeing let alone be left in charge as captain ! Oh.. and orgy showers truly do fix all tragedies.•

Yay for long drawn out stories that could have been shortened to two sentences. >__> I like writing an over dramatic novel.
6:25 am - 13 comments - 12 Kudos - Report!
Comments
SomebodySomeone wrote on Mar 7th, 2009 6:41am

:haha:

*sheds a tear of joy*
very epic. good thing you didn't make a thread. you'd be drowned(pun intended) in all the flaming posts.

*Salutes Captain Friz*
O Captain, My Captain

can't wait for OUR adventure on Part 2 >_>!

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Xunluckyx13 wrote on Mar 7th, 2009 7:27am

SomebodySomeone wrote on Mar 7th, 2009 at 1:41am :




*sheds a tear of joy*
very epic. good thing you didn't make a thread. you'd be drowned(pun intended) in all the flaming posts.

*Salutes Captain Friz*
O Captain, My Captain

can't wait for OUR adventure on Part 2 >_>!

+1

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coryklok wrote on Mar 7th, 2009 7:37am

The link is a lie... >_>

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yellowfrizbeea wrote on Mar 7th, 2009 8:00am

coryklok wrote on Mar 7th, 2009 at 2:37am :


The link is a lie... >_>

Lmao..yeah I dont really know why it hyperlinked that small sentence :haha:! I tried to fix it twice now..but the poor little fella just really wants to be a link. Give him his chance to shine :o

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Xunluckyx13 wrote on Mar 8th, 2009 6:44am

coryklok wrote on Mar 7th, 2009 at 2:37am :


The link is a lie... >_>

It's the little link that could..!

"I think I can, I think I can, I think I--- Internet Explorer cannot display this webpage?!?! Dammit..!"

<_<

>_>

:sad:

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imdeth wrote on Mar 9th, 2009 12:53am

The shower was my favourite part.

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MushroomBomb wrote on Mar 9th, 2009 1:12am

imdeth wrote on Mar 9th, 2009 at 1:53am :


The shower was my favourite part.


I second this!

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SteveHouse wrote on Mar 11th, 2009 7:29am

imdeth wrote on Mar 8th, 2009 at 5:53pm :


The shower was my favourite part.

Thirded.

Srsly, glad you guys ended up all right. Otherwise there could be no favorite part.

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element4433 wrote on Mar 15th, 2009 8:56pm

Pshh thats ok..we dont mind..we are mother****ing canoers.


Made me lol

And when it's 65 and below I sweater up.

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Oroborous wrote on May 3rd, 2009 9:33pm

That was an awesome story

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Myfirstpubes wrote on May 23rd, 2009 12:12am

:haha: you sound like Dane Cook man! lol.

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AlexMonsterx wrote on Mar 6th, 2010 3:54am

I would like to participate in one of these "orgy showers". They seem quite refreshing.

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StillSublime wrote on Mar 22nd, 2012 3:55pm

element4433 wrote on Mar 15th, 2009 at 3:56pm :
Pshh thats ok..we dont mind..we are mother****ing canoers.


Made me lol

And when it's 65 and below I sweater up.
Location: Florida. lol

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