As a young lad I was born into the prestigious academy of
the Jedi Arts, where I thrived as a young padawan until the dark Anakin
Skywalker murdered me.I then moved to
Ireland and wielded potatoes for a living, but – alas – it was unprofitable and
my children were growing hungry.Yearning for adventure, I set out for the harsh deserts of Kansas in
hopes of finding the legendary Atlantis.Realizing it had been forever hidden by the Disney movie, I settled down
on a small farm on Tatoonie, where I met and married my first love –
Harry.Together we spent many a night
gazing at the stars, wondering what lay beyond the depths of the mysterious
skyline.I then set out – fearful but
determined – to avenge the death of my unborn son, and I journeyed to the land
of the Super Mario Brothers – a violent gang of Canadian ninjas.Unfortunately, I soon fell into their power,
and, at their mercy, I evolved into a Charmeleon.Forever scarred by this incident, I committed suicide.I then moved westward to the Great Beyond,
where I found many a hamburger.I now
sit at my desk – old and weary – but wise from my experiences.Such is the story of Yawn.
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The Secret Life Story of Yawn blog
