Numbers....space...time...they all add up to something that makes our lives have an ending and a beginning. We create schedules and deadlines. We take time for granted and appreciate it, and constantly survive in existence with it. How was time discovered? Invented? We have heard all the things God created, but time is never really explained. It is a mathematical phenomenon of moments in perpetual succession, controlling our lives and effecting travel, television, music, and so many other things. It always seemed interesting to me that time seemed to be changed by humans in the 1800s to clear up railroad confusion on Earth. I always found it so strange that we could alter something that seemed so supernatural and intangible as time. Think about it; we can't chase after time. We can't literally see it or grab it with our hands. We can't buy it or sell it. We can share it though. We can also tell what time it is in our spot on this planet....crazy isn't it? Numbers, which are squiggly lines universally understood to represent a sollitude or multitude of objects, are placed on a shaped plane. The object has thin sticks which we call hands that move in that same circle forever and ever in that same circle, and we know what time it is when we see those lines and shapes together. The sky changes color according to time. We have created names for times of year. We classified time into units like years and weeks. I could go on forever and ever as does time but I'll have to stop here. Time blows my mind....I guess that's all I'm trying to say.
Sometimes I feel like I should stand in the middle of the street, arms outstretched, silently demanding the cars to take my life.
Sometimes I feel as though your absence already took my life; like I'm a soulless shell, wandering around broken for all eternity.
I'm the atoms of a molcule; unstable and unhappy and incomplete.
I'm like a mother after an abortion; full of remorse and memories, alone with sorrowful meditation.
Some say it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Why do some look for love? It is both a gift and a curse. It is a sickness and a cure.
Affection can be so confusing, until you know who you want to give it to. I'd rather give mine to no one else except for the one who is lodged in my brain.
He is stuck in there. I don't think I could get him out, even if I wanted to.
Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to say, that all I can do is sit inside myself and watch you enter my life and slowly leave it only to return again.
Sometimes I feel like there is an invisible wall between us now, where I once felt that in your embrace I was inside your body and you were in mine; like even if we were physically inside each other I couldn't feel any closer to you.
Sometimes I feel like a slave to my mind; a zombie, like I've already lived and died.... like I'm dying.
It's not like I wish for this jolting pain; it's not like I want these flashbacks. Some say things enter your mind at certain times for a reason, but is there really any necessary reason for this torture? My past dangling over me like a bone on a string?
Sometimes I just want it all to stop! I wish for my mind to shut off so I can stop seeing your face.
You look at me innocently
with eyes of greener blue.
My insides melt as I'm convinced
that you can see right through.
I pray to God that on this night
I never have to leave.
Alas, time with you is quicker
than the heartbeat on my sleeve.
With just one glance you know my thoughts,
my sins, and my soul.
Though small and fragile my heart is big
and you help to make it whole.
Is this not a schoolgirl crush?
No, I fear tis love's most silent hush.
Should my mind escape and fall into your hands,
my soul would slip through hell's cracks like sand.
It's crazy how people can be somewhere one year, and either in the same place, or totally different place one year later...
Some musicians can be sitting in a trashcan like Oscar the grouch.
Something can happen
and a year later they can be famous guitar idols or something.
Crazy isn't it?
I sit here listening to a song from 1971 called "Don't Say You Don't Remember" by Beverly Bremers, and it's pretty good. Many instruments were being used.
Well guess that's my blog today.
Pointless but oh well...can anybody think of where you were a year ago?
.P.S. I thought of a really demented quote today: Why beat a dead horse when you can beat someone with a dead horse??
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xX_[ V ]_Xx's blogs, last updated : January 5, 2010
