Okie dokie, I havent made a blog in over....4 months now, so I figured it was time to rig another one up.
Well, some of you may remember that girl who I liked that stopped talking to me. After successfully getting over her to the point of where I could probably see her naked and care one tiny bit, she finally decided to come crawling back to me talking about how much she missed me. I figured I'd give friendship a shot, because hey, as long as I dont do what I did before, this would just be another friend. Well...I didnt think about how much better looking I've gotten recently, but she DEFINITELY noticed, and now all she seems to want to do is kiss me/fuck me. So I'm trying to get her off of that.... but thats just another story.
In MY love life there has been...no success. I got played, well, on accident due to my own foolishness, by one of my best friends, but eh, I got over her pretty quick, still friends and all. In the time since I last posted a blog I also obtained a new guitar!!! A Washburn WG-587, a cheap but very nice 7 string guitar.
I'm also growing my hair out, I still havent decided how long (Shoulder or shoulder blade long???) and I'm attempting to get something moving with a band.
Well, thats my life so far, pretty boring, but hey, I'm not exactly the creme de la creme of social life at my school, or just in life period : so what can I say?
Thanks for reading if you did, cant imagine why youd want to :
I'm just posting this to let anyone who cares know I wont be on for a long time. I'll be on on the weekends, and during my christmas break, but other than that, I'm internet-less. The only explanation I'm willing to give is grades. So, I'm not ignoring anyone, I just dont gots mah netz, so I'll talk to you all when I get it back.
I just lost my "best friend" over something completley stupid. We go to get her in the mornings, and normally it goes fine. Well, lately she's been getting later and later, causing my mom to be late for work. Last Friday, we went to go get her as normal, but she wasnt ready. So we waited....and waited....and waited. My mom called and said "get out now or I'm leaving" So I told Kaela this, but all she said was "Just fucking leave then." Those were the last words she actually spoke to me. I texted her when I got to school apologizing, I really didnt want to leave her like that. No response. After school, she texted me saying that she never wanted to see or speak to me ever again, and that attempting to speak to her would only worsen my situation (wtf?). So, my supposed best friend just abandoned me like everyone else has been doing lately, and I feel empty....she hit deeper than you can imagine, I felt betrayed on the deepest level....I just needed to vent...comfort me???
I get to see my favorite band live in concert next sunday!!! I'm so fucking happy!!!! I get to go because my friend's band is opening for them, and he's taking me along
Here's number 2 of 4, all about my closest friends (This one wont be as long as the first, because there's not as much to tell really.)
I've known Fred since 7th grade, we met in a very strange way. It was in our computer class, we were taking the elective wheel at our middle school, it was actually at the end of the year that we met officially. It started as an argument over where Mt. Fuji was located. We didn't really meet each other until we were in a music class together. My older friend Kade (we dont talk anymore) introduced us, and we hit it off pretty well. We got a long quite well, and just started talking. He showed me Dream Theater (god do I love that band) and I ended up going over to his house. I met his strange family, and I still go over there probably once a week.
Well the next year we had a fairly normal year. Kinda boring, but it had its perks. We ended up in the same math class, had some laughs. He had some problems that I ended up helping him out with. I met one of his best friends (now one of mine as well) and the year passed.
It wasnt really until 9th grade that I found out just how great of a friend he is. As stated in the last blog...I like one of my best friends. Well so far this year, he has stood with me through it all, never complaining when I came to him for help. He's got to be my closest friend, he's like a brother. He's helped me so much this year...without his help I would truthfully probably be dead right now. The whole torn apart heart ideal I got through thanks to his advice.
The only downside to being his friend is that he can be a dick sometimes You have to know when to shut up when you're talking to him, or you'll find out just how big of an asshole he can be. He can be quite the asshole, but he's still like a brother to me.
That's number 2, basically adopted brother Fred. Crazy as hell, but awesome none-the-less.
Well, seeing as how all my other blogs were crap, I figured I'd write this one to tell you guys exactly what I'm going through.
It all started at the beginning of this year; it was my first day in high school, and it was okay. Nothing special really, just a boring normal school, just like the last one. That is, until I saw her. In my sixth period I saw the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. I thought "She's out of my leauge, I'm better off just forgetting about her." Well that was the mistake on my part, she ends up being one of my best friends later. Well besides all this, I got kinda close to a girl in my fifth period and decided "What the hell, I've never had a girlfriend before, this might help out a bit." I was SO wrong. I got sick and she IMMEDIATELY decided it would be okay to go back to her ex behind my back. I dumped her, and life went on.
After these events happened, I got deeper into my school's Drill Team. We were doing okay, and we practiced our asses off. Me and my best friend Fred were the two most important freshmen on the team made me feel great actually. During this time, the girl that I thought would never notice me, or talk to me at all, started talking to me. At first I didnt care much, I figured she was just curious about my uniform (which is when she talked to me) so I just kinda dropped it, thought nothing of it. Well after that a kind of rivalry started, we tried beating each other in test scores and stuff. This ended up with us talking quite a bit, helping each other out with work and such. Well whenever I noticed she was sad, I did my absolute best to cheer her up, and apparently I'm quite good at it. I quickly became her best friend, and I started liking her more and more....no matter how much I didnt want to.
After we got back from winter break, we talked a lot more than usual, and she invited me over to her house for the first time. I went over, and two of her other friends were over as well. One of them I immediately knew didnt like me....because she ran out of her house to give me a hug and I knew he was jealous. The other one was gay, so I really had no problem with him, as long as he stayed away from me
About a month passed, we grew much closer, she started telling me things about her life that I would never have guessed. Around this time I noticed two of my other best friends started flirting a lot. I decided I would TRY and get them together, seeing as how they had never really had successful relationship, and in the end this actually worked quite well, they're happier than I've ever seen them. Me and Kaela grew much closer, it was around this time that she told me stuff that made me want to murder her bf (I wont say what it was...) and time went on.
As we grew closer....her boyfriend started hating me. He hated me because he both saw me as a threat, and I got to spend more time with Kaela than he did. This created some problems, but Kaela worked around it, and everything kinda calmed down. I still liked her, a LOT now though, and this was tearing me apart. I didnt want to like her...but everything about her was perfect, everything I looked for in a girl was right there. She was beautiful, athletic, smart, understanding, and most important of all, she loved me. The startling thing was when she flat out told me "I love you" while we were talking, it made me feel strange inside, because I then realized just how much I actually liked her. I told her "I love you too" thinking she didnt know just how much I actually meant it. She of course, didnt know how I meant it, but took it all the same. Later that month she kissed me....startled me of course, but I loved it. It was my first.......
I have lately come to realize that liking her is only hurting me.....and I need to get away from it. I wont ever have her....she's making that blatently obvious when she tells me she could never see herself dating a younger guy, (I'm younger) and by telling me she loves her boyfriend so much....it hurts. It's like ripping your heart out and shoving it into a blender. Well I've recently decided to get over her.....I had no idea how hard this would be. I have tried, but I just cant seem to do it. She recently told me that she wants me there when she gets married, and when she has kids. She told me she needs me to be there, and so I said "okay". Hopefully by that time she realizes just how bad for her her bf is, and leaves him....but I doubt that will ever happen.
It's now the summer time, and I'm constantly stuck at home, while she goes out with her bf. I've already decided to tell her not to ever let me meet him...for very specific reasons. I dont know how everything will turn out...but I'm hoping for the best.
Thats the first of four blogs describing my year with my four different best friends in a nut shell. This one is by far the most turbulent and dramatic....but I'm trying, any help with that would be appreciated by the way, thanks for reading.
1. When people touch my guitar 2. When people lie to me 3. I hate it when people use me 4. thorns 5. when people try to clean my room, jesus christ people, leave my shit alone 6. rap music 7. rapists 8. people who think they're better than other people 9. people with overinflated egos 10. people who take forever to give me my stuff back 11. the heat 12. Running 13. over sleeping 14. math 15. people in general.
Fifteen Things I LOVE (in no particular order):
1. Kaela........ 2. Thunderstorms 3. Guitar 4. My friends 5. My family 6. reading 7. watching movies 8. being with Kaela 9. talking to my friends 10. playing footbal 11. UG 12. being loved..... 13. being alive 14. My kitty 15. myself.
stole this from Skull's profile 1. Perfect? HELL no 2. Tall? kinda sorta 3. In your pajamas? nope 4. Left handed? right handed
LAST: 1. Friend you saw: Mackenzie 2. Talked to on the phone: Kaela...... 3. Person to text you: Kaela 4. Person to say they loved you: Kaela FAVORITE: 1. Number: 21 2. Color(s): black 3. Food: Chinese food 4. Place: the beach QUESTIONS & ANSWERS:
Q: What was the first thing you did this morning when you got up? went back to sleep lol
Q: Do you have anything bothering you? a lot
Q: Do you smile often? not really
Q: Do you wish upon stars? nope
Q: Are you a friendly person? try to be
Q: Where did you sleep last night? in my bed
Q: Why did you sleep there? because its MINE
Q: When was the last time you cried? last week
Q: What was your last thought before going to sleep last night? I was watching Dane Cook, so this shit is hilarious
Q: Rate life on a scale of 1-10 1 being bad, 10 being great. 5
Q: What do you hear right now? All Shall Perish
Q: Does anything hurt right now? my face
Q: What's your favorite month? June
TEN EMOTIONS: 1. Are you missing someone right now? yeah....
2. Are you happy? okay i guess
3. Are you sad? not really
4. Are you bored? lets see....quiz.....yeah, im fucking bored
6. Are you nervous? no
7. Are you loved? Yeah.
8. Are you tired? Not really
9. Are your parents still married? nope
10. Do you trust your top 2? huh?
001. Real name? Nick
002. Nicknames? Nick. My Nick. (Pet name........
003. Eye color? hazel
004. Zodiac sign? cancer
005. Male or female? dude.......im a dude
006. if you had one wish before dying, what would you wish for? idk
007. Crushing? not really
008. Slut? hell no
009. Smart? yep
010. Hair color? light blonde
011. Long or short? short
012. Beach or pool? beach
013. Sweats or Jeans? jeans
014. Phone or Camera? phone
015. Health freak? getting there
019. Piercings? no
020. Tattoos? nyet
021. Righty or lefty? right
FIRSTS : 023. First piercing? none 024. First best friend? I think her name was Courtney 025. First award? idk
026. First crush? i dont remember
027. First pet? dog 028. First big vacation? Vegas
CURRENTLY : 049. Eating? nothing 050. Drinking? nothing 052. I'm about to? leave class
053. Listening to? All Shall Perish 054. Plans for today? fucking school.....
055. Waiting for? stuff to happen
WHICH IS BETTER WITH GIRL/BOY? 068. Lips or eyes? eyes 072. Romantic or spontaneous? romantic AND spontaneous HAH! I win
073. Nice stomach or nice arms? stomach 074. Sensitive or loud? sensitive 075. Hook-up or relationship? relationship
HAVE YOU EVER : 079. Drank bubbles? soap.....tasted nasty...:Sad:
080. Lost glasses/contacts? nope 081. Ran away from home? nope 084. Broken someone's heart? i hope not 085. Been arrested? pfft.......no....<_<
DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 089. Yourself? not often 090. Miracles? no 091. Love at first sight? yes
092. Heaven? i dont know anymore 093. Santa clause? no 094. Sex on the first date? maybe
095. Kiss on the first date? hell yeah, how bout before?
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY : 097. Do you love someone? unfortunately...its tearing me apart..... 098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? not right now, getting there 099. Do you believe in true love? yeah.
| My Profile
valennic's blogs, last updated : May 16, 2009
: so what can I say?
