This is a formal service announcment from B.O.I.K.E. (Boike Objects to Insolent Emo people). B.O.I.K.E. has thought that with the reason rise in the "emo" threat, that it is our solemn duty to inform the people of what to do in case of an "emo" attack and/or uprising.
First thing first, the chance of an emo attack is very slim. The chance of an emo uprising is even slimmer. So really you should not have to worry about this all that much. The only point in which you will have to worry, is if a goth and an emo mate. This act causes the birth of an Emo-Goth or "emoth". "Emoth"'s are very dangerous, because while a emo normally won't attack, Goths are accustomed to fighting in mosh pits and can be very violent. When an Emo and a Goth combine the result is this commonly fat (no one knows exactly why) ball of pure violence and love for Marilyn Manson. There is only one documented case, this case's name is Tyler. Now on to the survival techniques.
There are 10 steps surviving an Emo attack. These steps are as follows:
1. Go to a concert and move around. Emos don't have the ability to move during concerts, so as long as you move away from the Emo, you will be able survive and enjoy the awesome concert. Though if an Emo is at the concert then it may not be very good. Though be aware, the Emo will move again after the concert! In fact, multiple Emos will be awakening after the concert is done. Therefore, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE BEFORE THE CONCERT ENDS!
2. Wear really bright colors. Emos wear only four basic colors: black, dark grey, crimson red and auburn magenta. White is the absolute best color to wear, while the next best colors go as follows: yellow, sky blue, bright red and orange. Also wearing a vest of lit lightbulbs may also seriously help.
3. Listen to music which does not involve screaming and/or references to horror movies. Music which does not depress them, confuses Emos and if you you have a few key lyrics in your head, you can scream them out if under attack. These lyrics are "I found my love, way up above, thanks to that dove" most happy things that rhymn tend to be bad for Emos.
Now since I've become bored...I'll continue the rest for tommorow.
| My Profile
How to Survive an Emo Attack blog
