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skippy_moogoose (2)
Tuesday, August 25, 2009

The Gospel According to Fitz - Epilogue

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I've written all I'd wanted to write in these blogs and thought it would be appropriate to address what I wrote. These blogs were nearly 2 years in the making and it's interesting to reflect on them so far down the line. Nothing fancy here - let's go:
 

The Gospel According to Fitz - Chapter 1: Flea

While I wasn't particularly hard on Flea I made the points I wanted to make and they weren't popular ones. Not much to go on here but I guess I whetted the taste of those who began to follow my blogs - the flair wasn't there yet but the integrity was.

 

The Gospel According to Fitz - Chapter 2: Fretless

This is a very informative blog that has a little bit of flair to it, but I hadn't any of the bombast I ended up with at this point in time. Every single word of it is true and there is still no excuse for bad technique. If you can't play fretless in tune, you're lazy. Period. I can play upright in tune and it doesn't even have any side markers. The more I think of it the more I understand that my starting off slow and steady may have made my blogs popular; if I started out crazy I might've scared away the masses.

The Gospel According to Fitz - Chapter 3: The Gig

What a waste of fucking space. I don't know why I dragged my band's first gig into this mess of a Gospel. OK, hooray for me. A lot of good things happened within a few months of that blog and absolutely fuck all since.

The Gospel According to Fitz - Chapter 4: Jaco Tone

Whilst not overtly insane I started doing in this blog what I've been doing since - saying "fuck you" to preconceptions. People read tidbits of information and listen to soundbytes and spout them off as truth. And naturally, there's no questioning it. You can never sound like Jaco and Jaco can never sound like you. Getting his fretless tone, however, is as straightforward as it gets. And there were the steps that needed to be taken. So fuck you and your "it's all in the hands" bullshit. Listen to his bootlegs of him playing with Albert King on a fretted Precision and tell me it's all in the hands.

The Gospel According to Fitz - Chapter 5: Halo

This is when my Gospel took full swing and I'm happy it did this way. The concept of "it's on TV, it must be good" started here and it's only gotten worse. Take every bog standard feature that's been around for decades and throw it together. Literal cookie-cutter bullshit. Next, market it. Finally, tell everyone it's fresh. What happens? Success. A problem? No, not really, because all fads die. The problem lies with the smug legion of idiots that keep the fad going as a legitimate and timeless artform. Derivative is good and shouldn't be questioned as long as people write it, right?

The Gospel According to Fitz - Chapter 6: EQ

Fucking idiot detractors can knock me all they want for this reason and for that, but facts die hard. I am a master of the EQ and have the best tone I've ever heard. You know what the crazy part is? I've gotten that same tone on several basses across several rigs - and it's all in the EQ. So if you don't like me because on your semi-annual trips to UG you find me to be a prick, actually try to understand what I'm saying - after you go fuck yourself, of course. If I ever have a UG legacy I hope it's that I got the bass forum using their EQs. This Gospel, and my other EQ blog, may have a part in that. If I would add anything, it's that compression has a helluva lot to do with tone. If you're getting the tone you want but there's just something not right about it, try adjusting your compression. My SWR sounded great but a bit iffy - I had the limiter set to a point where it would smooth out some of my B-string's attack but little more. Out of sheer happenstance I cranked the compression and things just plainly and simply started sounding better - it thickened up while retaining clarity, pops didn't break my ear drums, and the bass was pumping from an open B to the 26th fret of the G.

The Gospel According to Fitz - Chapter 7: n00bs

Probably my crowning acheivement on this site, if not on all of the internets. It took 7 blogs to get to this point but I had finally acheived what I set out to do: address a touchy subject, piss people off, and be 100% correct in every word that was typed. I stand by this blog now more than ever and will fight to the end if I need to. If people are too stupid to understand what I was saying in that blog and got caught up on the delivery, they should have and still can kiss my ass. N00bs are no longer a problem on the UG bass forum, and they definitely weren't after I wrote this blog. This FAQ that would allegedly kill the Bass Forum because nobody would ask any questions anymore worked like a charm and I hope it continues to do so. Every point I made in that blog - no matter how pissed off people got - turned out exactly how I said it would. I'm still kinda suprised about the backlash it got, especially from folks who are on UG so fucking infrequently and insignificantly - folks who were barely remembered - folks completely out of the delightful memery that was UG at the time - had the nerve to speak up. I'm glad they did though - and I hope they stick around long enough to trully appreciate how right I was. It's a beautiful thing. This is all still flair and bombast - it's really beside the point now and I no longer care, but it sure was fun to revisit. I didn't and I still won't back down, no matter what shitstorm I cause. Too bad not everyone appreciated my integrity.

The Gospel According to Fitz - Chapter 8: Cliff

Yum, yum, yum. Chapter 8 was the subject I had originally intended to be my Chapter 1. People actually requested I start writing blogs to address this very topic, and I had been teasing it ever since. These are perhaps the glory days of my blogs and my days on UG because I was saying what I wanted when I wanted to, and I didn't care about the consequences. The only difference between then and now is that then people seemed to care :). No point in going over what was said in this particular blog since you can read it yourself but there have been some interesting events since. Since the Guitar Hero/Rock Band cancers (can you believe I didn't do a blog on them!?) had mixes containing songs' isolated instrument tracks, Cliffs reputation has taken a deserved beating. People posted Cliffs isolated lines on YouTube, and the responses were classic. Wait... what!? He wasn't playing 16ths at that part? Just sloppy, clacky, quarter notes? Wait... huh!? Those quick bits were actually the guitar? Terrible tone, silly technique, and overestimated lines. It's just funny that the original mixes were so bad that the slop and lack of speed were not apparent to begin with... maybe that's for the best. Some YouTube videos of those bass lines actually disabled comments in light of all the recent Cliff flaming. Naturally my blog had nothing to do with that but it's nice to see folks who now share my point of view.

The Gospel According to Fitz - Chapter 9: Hurt

Yeah, it was hard to follow that Cliff blog but I bet it's just as well that I went down in a dirty stink hole than try something ambitious and not make it. Yes should've released Tormato after Close to the Edge, not Tales. I brushed on some interesting topics that were echoes of the Cliff blog, but I never followed through with that acoustic version. For shame.

The Gospel According to Fitz - Chapter 10: Shit

My God am I ever embarassed about this blog. Still man enough to leave it there, but not man enough to talk about it now. But boy, I'm really glad I wrote these 2 terrible blogs after 2 perfect ones. This way I can start fresh. And did I? Let's see...

The Gospel According to Fitz - Chapter 11: Rhyming

Oh yes, I most certainly did. The informativity of the first few blogs with the bombast of the last few. It's still shocking how much WORSE lyrics have got since I wrote that blog and how even less people care. I just want to make something clear, though - rhyming is NOT subjective. Rhymes are rhymes. Sounds. Period. There's no agreeing or disagreeing with rhymes. A fart is a fart and if you think it's actually a burp I don't care. Read the fucking blog again - that's how you rhyme. I literally laid it all out there. I'm not explaining jack shit again because I already did the first time.

The Gospel According to Fitz - Chapter 12: Viagra

I will work this into a comedy routine some day. Literally every sentence in that blog contains some sort of joke. I know some are so subtle that you'd miss them, but it's a shame because it's absolute comic gold. For shame I didn't include more blatantly comedic blogs in the Gospel.

The Gospel According to Fitz - Chapter 13: Gear

I'm STILL shocked that I managed to write a blog that was longer than the character cap. That blog was so long and involved that there's no reason for me to go over it again. I will say that I've noticed that the Forum's been really, REALLY soft in the last 6 months or so. It's sickening. Like... great, Behringers still suck, but the T-Bird love on the forum is embarassing. "Not well designed but good for certain things" just doesn't cut it in my book. By the way, this is my book. It doesn't cut it.

The Gospel According to Fitz - Chapter 14: Drugs

Legalize it all, or legalize nothing.

The Gospel According to Fitz - Chapter 15: Bass

I'm really happy with how this turned out - I actually caused a handful of guitard-backlash on the Forum. I don't have too much to add here since the post was somewhat recent, however I'd like to point out that the paper trail on one of the comments left by a guitard is amusing. Notice the "oh shit sorry then" finale.

The Gospel According to Fitz - Chapter 16: Music

I have nothing to say about this blog other than I've said all I wanted to say. This is my view of music, and the world, in one solitary blog. All others orbit around it. It all lead up to this one.

************************************************** *****

So now I leave. The Gospels themselves tell a story but the blogs I've written in between tell a more intimate one. I've had some interesting times while being a member of UG but now I've reached the point where I own everything I've ever wanted to own and I've said everything I've ever wanted to say. I no longer have no advice to offer nor experience to discuss. I no longer enjoy being a member of Ultimate-Guitar and that's no fault of yours; it's me. I'm out of touch with the goings on and seeing people's new basses no longer interests me in the slightest.

I'm still alive, though. My band's still going and we just came out with an album - if you really want to follow thefitz check out www.myspace.com/damndirtygrapes or look for The Damn Dirty Grapes on Facebook. I'm still around, just not here.

Goodbye UG.

I'll never return.

10:19 pm - 8 comments - 2 Kudos - Report!
Comments
Jonnomainman wrote on Aug 26th, 2009 12:42am

Although I never read any of the blogs and havent been active myself on the UG bass forum much in the last 3 or 4 months, you always had my respect (okay, maybe not in the beginning ;) ) and now that you've moved on, the bass forum here has lost a key member.

Thanks for all the help and advice i've had the pleasure of learning from. Good luck with the band and all that comes in the future!

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the humanity wrote on Aug 26th, 2009 1:03am

bye fitz. glad to see you follow through on your promises. good to have your help and wtf is wrong with you advice over the past year and a half.

<3 I love you man, in a totally not creepy way.

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slaptasticdave wrote on Aug 26th, 2009 1:50am

That man was one of the best the forum has ever known *salutes*

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Mutant Corn wrote on Aug 26th, 2009 3:28am

Dammit fitz....



...I had to say it one more time. :( Bye man.

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Eliass346 wrote on Aug 26th, 2009 5:03am

See ya man. maybe ill catch you at a gig.

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skippy_moogoose wrote on Aug 31st, 2009 4:12pm

Man, I ant been around for a while,hell,maybe u'll never reas this...you taught me a lot,you gacve a priper review to my EP, you taught me EQ, gear importance...man one day I'd like to meet you...your name and legend will live on, adios Fitzy!!

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crazyfox wrote on Sep 15th, 2009 3:27pm

Dude... :hug: i'll always miss you.

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Spaz91 wrote on Sep 17th, 2009 3:46pm

He'll be back :)

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