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Thursday, October 02, 2008

Poem 2

Views: 217
Comments: 1

Sex Jokes and Packed Theatres

 

She wished for a life

Like the movies

With drama

And excitement

Charming princes

And perfect nights

With a simple solutions

To all her issues

In a two hour span

 

But she lived

Like a documentary

Instead of a

Michael Bay flick

Quiet narratives

And information

Instead of raging nights

And lusty lovers

A sense of duty

With no time for fun

And when the humor came out

It seemed forced and

Uncomfortable

 

Looking back

She wanted a life

Like she would have lived

If she had known

But her final cut

Was a broken reel

On the clipping room floor

A deleted scene

On the red carpet

Of her star-studded town

5:11 pm - 1 comments - 0 Kudos - Report!
Comments
uhh_me? wrote on Oct 3rd, 2008 7:29pm

sorry about not getting back to you yesterday.
With a simple solutions
with simple solutions or with a simple solution?

But she lived

Like a documentary

Instead of a

Michael Bay flick
flick feels awkward here.

at the start of the last stanza "Looking back" seems unnecessary. by removing that line it seems to add more or a present regret to the poem. it will also give a sense of form to the poem being that the opening and closing stanzas will have the same number of lines.

overall, i enjoyed the poem even if the movie imagery sort of wears thin by the end.

quote

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