sashki

Subscribe!
Contacting sashki
Send message Forward
Add to friends Favorites
Add to group Block user
 Who gave a Kudo :
jakemustaine (1)
EpiExplorer (1)
TheJaneTrain (2)
Friday, July 24, 2009

Blahg

Current mood: apathetic

Views: 295
Comments: 9
So this is my first blog ever. Blog blog bloggity blog.

I have often wondered about the purpose of blogs. Who writes a public diary entry to be published on the internet with no specific audience in mind? I guess I do. I don't think I could stoop lower if I tried.

I've been spending these past nights on UG, going in and out of The Pit in search of new threads or updates, until 2AM, for reasons I can't explain. As I periodically take the time out to consider my situation, I begin to fear that I've become everything I was afraid of becoming.
I was never particularly social. I was always whiny and cynical. And now I spend my nights insulting strangers over the internet, for the lulz. The sad thing is, I'm not alone. At any given time, there's about 600 others there. I hope their condition isn't like mine, but at the same time, I wouldn't be surprised if it was.

I do nothing all day.
I'm supposed to be enjoying the "best years of my life". I'm supposed to be celebrating my youth and energy while I still have it. I'm supposed to be doing CRAZY SHIT that I can tell my grandchildren stories about when I'm old.
But nay. I spent my teenage years in front of a screen. I have no desire to do anything else. That's right, folks, I'm not only boring and cynical, I'm apathetic as well!
I browse pictures that come up on my Facebook home page. Thousands of them, of my friends having fun together. Photos detailing picnics, house parties, nights out in town, even just hanging out with nothing in mind. I wonder why my circle of friends never have such gettogethers (is that a real word?). The truth is, they do. Without me, understandably.

I hardly even play guitar any more, even though now I've got all the time in the world. I repeat the same generic licks  over and over and over again. I only play about 3 short phrases now. I've forgotten everything I ever knew. I can't write songs, or transcribe. I ain't got no soul.

People say it's a phase I'm going through, this whole teenage apathy thing, but I don't think that's true cos I've been like this as far as I can remember.

Why am I even writing this? It's not like anyone will bother to read it. And if they did, I ask, why? Why do you care? There's nothing interesting here. This was improvised and written out of boredom.

Tomorrow I'll look back on this and think "What the fuck was I thinking?", but then towards the evening, the reality will sink in again, and I'll realise that everything I've written here is still relevant.

So in conclusion....actually, fuck conclusions, they remind me of english class.
I'm sorry for wasting your time. I'm sorry for sounding like a whiny emo kid. I hate whiny self-centered people too, but that's probably because they remind me of myself. I've always hated those "rebel without a cause" people who say stupid things like "fuck the system" when they have no idea what they're talking about. I recognise that I'm one of them, and do nothing about it. Fuck that shit.

I'm gonna sit here, reloading this page, hoping for comments which probably won't appear (and sympathy, even though I don't think I deserve it, it's probably the subconcious thought of it that pushed me into writing this). I understand, though. People have better things to do, and I admire that.

Don't make my mistake. Fight the addiction if you still can. I know you can. You're not me. You're not weak, naive and immature. You can achieve more than I can ever dream of. Now stop reading and go do something productive.













Also, The Game.

I have no idea why I wrote this whole thing. I will be ashamed later.

Where can I find motivation?
1:36 pm - 9 comments - 4 Kudos - Report!
Comments
sashkia wrote on Jul 24th, 2009 11:00pm

Stop whining and man up, you pissy bitch.

Also, don't comment on your own blog. That's just stupid and not funny.

quote

ctb wrote on Jul 26th, 2009 4:14pm

Me and you, are so scarily alike, it's unreal. :(

:hug:

quote

darkstar2466 wrote on Aug 13th, 2009 10:04pm

I like you, sashki. You are not afraid to point out your own faults. But you lack the motivation to do something productive with your day. Even if it's just an hour-long walk through your neighborhood, wandering around aimlessly, it's better than spending your WHOLE day in front of a computer.

I know how addicting the internet can get - it's just a haven for lazy people. And it turns you even lazier, cynical, unmotivated, and depressed. Go outside and do stuff - pick up a hobby like skateboarding or football or something. Fuck, even fingerpainting is better than spending an entire day in front of a computer.

A couple hours of lulz doesn't hurt, but please don't let someone as awesome as yourself waste away in front of this idiot box. And as far as friends go - the more time you invest in them, the more they will come to you.

You know how to fix it. Fix it, bitch.

Love,

darkstar

quote

Venice King wrote on Sep 8th, 2009 5:58pm

I give you an extra comment. I really mean it.

quote

sashkia wrote on Oct 16th, 2009 12:21am

I've been in university for 4 weeks. No improvement yet.

quote

Laird95 wrote on Apr 16th, 2010 12:38am

that sounds weirdly similair to my life :sad:

quote

yoyodunno wrote on Jun 17th, 2010 2:33am

you're in college now? i would think that would help a bit. also, get off the damn computer, seriously technology is the devil.

quote

EpiExplorer wrote on Sep 7th, 2010 10:56pm

A Lul for a lul: Whats the similarity between my hand and outer space? IT BEATS THE FUCK OUTTA ME.

quote

TheJaneTrain wrote on Aug 23rd, 2012 1:12am

Here's a couple of kudos for you, but please, do something with your life, amigo! Find a goal, something you have a passion for. Perhaps working out, martial arts, or something like that. Those are my passions and I know that I, too, was addicted to the computer for a whole school semester.... thank God I am past that now.

¡Buenas suerte!

quote

Post your comment
Expand