a lot of you people may recognize the woman named katherine heigl (aka the woman who gave up her dignity to do a sex scene with seth rogen), yet you see siena goines and you're like "wtf man!"
i'll go ahead and post a picture of this mistress goines:
that, my friend, is not a picture of katherine heigl doing an imitation of robert downey jr. in tropic thunder. that is siena goines. she looks exactly like katherine heigl. MINDFUCK!
(for those of you who haven't heard of/seen katherine heigl):
i don't know what to say, so i'll sort it out:
my fantasy
having a threesome with these two ladies would be phenomenal. it'd be like doing it with twins, except you won't feel weird with being on the borderline of incest. plus, you're getting the brown sugar, and the blonde bundt cake (wtf?). who else would you prefer having a threesome with? this shit is perfect.
my conspiracy
there's no way these can be two different people. i'm telling you, katherine heigl wears blackface circa orson-welles-in-othello-style, just so she can act in jericho. the new alias is created so abc wouldn't know about her moonlighting for cbs for some extra cash. it's plain obvious. too bad jericho was canceled (a shame), so now siena goines (ahem, katherine heigl) must find a new job to moonlight for. looks like knocked up just wasn't enough for this greedy woman.
who would i prefer? well, if these two names were actually possessed by different bodies, then i don't know what to say. normally, i prefer lighter skinned females, but according to interviews and such, heigl is a total bitch. plus, she slept with seth rogen in knocked up. seriously, who would want to even mock-sleep with this guy:
... not sure. siena goines, on the other hand, is breaking the necks of all these different people and that's just hot.
i'm just not sure where to go. these two hot ladies need to breed and create children hotter than their predecessors where they'll be used to get to men like me who use their computers to create obnoxious conspiracy theories and make fun of men who are no more talented than they are but somehow make more money.
so, my day was going as it usually does. i log on to UG, mod the forums, get pissed off at a user and swear under my breath at a bunch of fucking idiots.
good, you guys like zelda. don't fucking go on threads regarding OTHER games that you would literally bend down to be sword fucked by link. i like zelda, too. but apparently you people couldn't resist getting a hard-on for people who have elf ears and wear medieval clothing.
there's no reason to say final fantasy is better than zelda or zelda is better than final fantasy ... THEY'RE TWO DIFFERENT GAMES. although, the love for zelda games has become ridiculous.
ocarina of time was wonderful, a well accomplished game indeed. then they released majora's mask. ok, same concept but you can wear masks! ... which make you different. it was also fun. then they released wind waker, which was basically ocarina of time with cel-shaded graphics and islands. the twilight princess was pretty good, too, since it was also another iteration of ocarina of time but this time we were given the new and improved wii motion controls which actually made the game unbearable for me (i for one like to sit on my lazy ass and experience my life wasting away while playing video games).
actually, now that i think about it, every zelda game has the same exact concept. boy is living regular life, boy becomes adult and has to leave because something bad has happened, boy learns about ganondorf, boy pulls master sword, boy has to run some more errands, boy kills ganondorf.
EVERY. SINGLE. GAME. i have to experience the same characters and same enemies. the stories are practically the same, as well.
i don't know how nintendo earns your respect by releasing the same re-hashed game every 4 years or so. all they do is slightly change the story and graphics. in zelda's case, they change and swap out some different items (ocarina for the baton, epona for the boat). these are the same people who rag on grand theft auto for practically releasing another game which happens to be a re-hash of previous releases.
there's nothing wrong with zelda. in fact, many companies do this such as the halo series. all the FPS games tend to have the exact same concept.
i just don't get the respect that everyone throws at zelda.
these are my favorite and i would love to share it with you people:
jesus scene from the big lebowski http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFxqvhRyoyM i think no matter when, whenever someone says "jesus" i'll quickly say, "you said it man!" there are so many amazing quotes in this scene
revenge scene from rushmore http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yly2UDQp6fc there are many great scenes in this film, but this one seems to stand out the most. maybe it's the who playing in the background, or maybe it's bill murray and his awesome bentley. whatever it is, it works.
final monologue in raging bull http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLNft6cO0I4 i don't know if you've wondered why de niro is praised so much in the film industry. if you are a little skeptical, watch this scene. better yet, watch the entire film. seriously, de niro ranks as one of the best actors ever. he practically made scorsese's movies what they are today.
that's all i can think of ... and all i can find. hope you enjoy them all!
before i start this, you probably are thinking "paint gtfo! you have votes to count"
well i'm done with that. and yeah ... expect the awards thread to release soon.
anyway, i just thought i'd share my thoughts that occurred to me while i was counting
metal forum
is it just me, or did the metal forum call each other and plan this whole voting thing out? they all voted for each other. it's not a problem, but it seems that this would be the first time this ever happened. i mean, the UG chat did this all the time, so it's no surprise to me. which brings me to my next topic:
divided we fall ug chat seems like the users are in their own cahoots. yes, i've only been a member for like 2 years or so ... but when i began going in there, the people seemed to know everyone and the conversations were a lot more interesting and more fun just because everyone liked each other. a couple years ago, the entire chat got itself to vote SpacedOut (female) both most attractive male and female. maybe it's my inactivity in chat, but i've noticed too many one-on-one conversations. plus, not all the chatwhores even voted in this year's thread, which is a huge disappointment, in my opinion. and because of that (yes i'll give out spoilers) magero, someone who i've never seen in #ultimate-guitar, wins chatwhore of the year. i have no problem with him, in fact he seems like a pretty alright person, but a chatwhore is one who visits #ultimate-guitar frequently.
who the fuck are these users ever since i became a CC, i've lost track of ALL users. throughout counting, i was like "who the hell are these users" some i've just discovered, because they post in the forbidden forums (metal forum, blues & jazz, musician talk, etc.) and i never saw the people whom i know the most (some people from chat and a lot of the people from alternative/indie).
hopefully, if i'm still around next year, things would turn out a lot better.
so i ordered final fantasy viii off amazon.com. it was $19.99. I have amazon prime through my brother, so i get free 2-day shipping, but that's not the special part.
I WAS NOT CHARGED TAX! normally i do, for like CDs and other media, but not i can spend that extra $1.40 on a quart of gas. recession ftw!
Ok ... so after warning people for spam and such, I expect to get some kind of mail from recently warned or banned users. I decided to share, because they're funny.
User: organic remains Subject: EAT MY HAIR NUTSACK
Fuck you asshole, The Jesus Lizard fucking rocks, you just can't handle the truth, FUCK YOU
God bless the Jesus Lizard
and fuck you
The Jesus Lizard rock, lol.
User: Nightkeeper Topic: Rock On You Loser
Rock on you loser
Show me how you can play the guitar
\m/
User: boor Topic: Ya ok
what good would that do? your boyfriend probably runs the site, , you
fucking cock choker. i'll just read this stuff at blabbermouth.com,
that's where you homos get the stuff for your site anyway. Don't act
like you have "connections" other than the ones between you and your
boyfriends' 2 incher. later fag
*3 incher.
User: saturns_bassman Subject: Hello
Suck a dick you fucking jackass. I posted one shitty comment to a dude
that sucks dick at tabbing a song, and I get bitched at by UG for what?
Telling that asshole the truth. Go fuck yourself you faggot.
Thanks and keep up the support!
User: suxisthoe Subject: suck it
suck a cock u faggit ass homo
*faggot.
User: Patrick244 Subject: The Status of Your Account at Ultimate-Guitar
Ahhh. What would I ever do now that you have deleted my account? My
whole world is falling apart. You fuck head. You think I really care
you deleted my account? I don't even fucking use it. he he. Oh wow, you
really got me. Good one. Piece out homie. I got better things to do,
you know like kicking hair metal band's asses. Motley Crue never,
METALLICA forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Later. Good talking to you! Goodbye
forever!
Well, I agree, hair metal does indeed suck.
User: xsamhain
MODS = FAGS
enjoy my b&
blah blah blah, cry moar. paint it black sucks, rolling stones suck, UG sucks. now fuck off and enjoy block.
oh and MODS = FAGS
block? Is that supposed to be a shorter term for black cock?
User: ???
nope, this was in context, i am actually gay so therefore there was no
insult. take the warning off my account immediately or i'll have to
pursue legal action.
Will do.
User: Gundersmoot
Fuck
you then. Your an asshole. I wasn't even vulgar. Everyone has a right to share
there fucking opinions. Lick my fuzzy balls you asshole.
All That Remains: The Fall of Ideals:Six
I
wish I was free of this I see her in my dreams Wish that she wasn't
there
But she still haunts me and I
Still feel her breath on
me Still want to taste her skin But I know that would kill me
No
damn her, still I choke on her lies Still Reeling from her last caress her
goodbye
Oh how this sickens me This wretched fools affair I can't
erase this from me
And now it permeates And every thought I
feel The anger writhes in my soul
No damn her, still I feel my stomach
turn Choke back hold my head high I'm strong
No damn her, still I
choke on her lies Not reeling I'm strong
I
wish I was free of this
Aww how poetic, did you write it yourself?
User: Holywars83
fuck you up your stupid ass. Rock and Roll being policed are you the PMRC?
ban me. your sight sucks anyway and most of the tabs are wrong. BTW is this Tipper Gore?
I run a blog website through my work and we encourage free speech. They
are just words, nobody is threatening violence, its all very innocent.
And if you actually took the time to look at the blogs from the
beginning, i just stated that the nominees were awful and that metal
was taking a backseat to rap. Then the UG community called me a moron
for saying that so i was simply defending myself. Oh, how's life from
the confounds of your mother's basement?
Hey, i was a complete dick to you and you handled it professionally. so let your boss know that you deserve a promotion.
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paintITblack39's blogs, last updated : August 11, 2009
Rock on you loser 
