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A true national monument.

But I bet you didn't know Rebel Yell is home to some of the most amazing magicians of all time.

With names like Gremlin Gates, Pazuzu, John 'The Magician' Smith (one the most creative and exciting magicians of all time, R.I.P, keep on chasing rainbows) and The King of the Wizards all residing here. It's no wonder that on the underground magician scene they call this place the 'Rebel Yell Nation'.

 

In the early years of the Rebel Yell Nation any one found or believed to be practising magic was burned at the stake and had their ashes thrown into a swamp.

It wasn't until Sir. I. C. Nowe discovered that behind all this 'magic' was just sleight of hand and trickery, that the burning and ash-swamping law was changed. Now anyone found or believed to be practising is just avoided.

Rebel Yell, after the magician burning law was changed, became a quite famous for it's magicians when John 'The Magician' Smith burst onto the scene with his Coin-in-my-pocket trick, in which he would astound audiences by putting his hand into his pocket and removing a single coin. He would perform this on street corners to groups of people until he was found by entertainment manager Nerben Blampin, who despite his made up name, managed a few popular acts around Rebel Yell. It wasn't long before John Smith was performing in front of crowds of 10 or more. He had a large repertoire of magical tricks, but his signature was always his classic Coin-in-my-pocket trick, which to this day, knowboady can work out how he did it.

However, John Smith wans't the only famous magician to call Rebel Yell home, as previously mention Gremlin Gates, Pazuzu and The King of the Wizards all lived and worked in Rebel Yell. 

Gremlin famous for his dissapearing-pants routine, Pazuzu, his ability to drive manual cars without a license and the King of the Wizards famous for his work in the superb rock band, Sorcery.

Magic has had a long and charred history in The Rebel Yell Nation, and it will has a longer future, unless of course another burning-magicians law is passed, and we can only hope.

Thanks for reading, 

Anyone who has ever played guitar, bass or other picked instrument will know the extreme frustration of dropping a pick, also known as a plectrum, and have it meld into the carpet or become lost deep under the bed/couch/desk. It is tortuous. The Lost Pick Theory, or LPT as it shall be referred to from now on, attempts to explain this painful phenomenon and it's workings.

LTP also explains the loss of any small dropped item, like; key's, remotes, nail clippers, mobile phones etc. The science is the same.

"Hang on, i'll just gra.. Oh what the fuck? I only just dropped it there!"

The initial action of dropping the item is the most vital stage of the LPT. The position of landing and further movement is entirely dependant on one's vision of the object. If you are, at the time of dropping, looking at the item, said item will fall naturally and, more often than not, as expected. However, if said item is out of view, it will land in such a way that it will shoot off in a ridiculous fashion and continue on to the next stage.

The tumble is the stage in which the item will venture forth from it's landing location. The item's size or weight has no bearing on it's tumble. Stress, frustration and necessity are the only relavent factors. If one is cool, calm, collected and/or in no hurry the tumble will be minor, however if the dropped item is your last pick, or something you need in a hurry, the tumble will be obscenely infuriating. The principal behind this is Murphy's Law (now officially deemed a 'science' in the Rebel Yell nation).

This stage only occurs after the fumble, and will not occur if the dropped item was in view. The fumble is the stage of trying to find where the dropped item has gotten too. It can last for quite a while depending on the victim. Though in most cases, accepting the loss is the most beneficial, health wise, solution as a tumbled pick will, 9 times out of 10, never be found again, and prolonged searching will only increase frustration and anger. Other dropped items will almost always show up, but will not be easily located.

The actual permanent loss of pick's can be determined by the sub-theorum; Chameleon Pick Theory, CPT. However this does only count for plectrums.

Picks are infamous for being invisible to the human eye when on carpet. This is because all picks have a chameleon gene, and are capeable of changing the colour of themselves to match the surrounding carpet. They are the only shaped plastic object capeable of such a feat, and probably the only non-sentient or non-programmed thing able to do it at all.

Everyone knows 'that guy', he's the one who always takes it too far in every situation.

See, you've now just realized that you know a 'that guy'. 

Whether it be to start throwing punches in a wrestle, abuse a stranger or break a controller, 'that' guy' always takes it too far, anything you or someone normal has done and been silently deemed ok, or even maybe laughed at, 'that guy' see's it as his opportunity to increase his 'cool' standings within the group, but inevitably he takes things too far by instead of celebrating their winning hand in poker by cheering, they'll flip the table, break a window and take off their shirt, which has quite the opposite effect to had what they'd wanted to achieve, thus making them more 'un-cool' than not, which they will again try to get out of by taking something else to far. It's a vicious circle.

The mind of 'that guy' is a strange thing he see's victory in everything to be a step which he must climb to be cool, failure is something he can turn into a victory if he jokingly get's angry at his opponents and everyone has a laugh at how great 'that guy' is.

Unfortunately in reality his victory at all costs approach involves beating women and children at things like arm wrestling, eating more of something than anyone and spewing everywhere and loud abuse and/or touching you annoyingly until you give up. His ability to take things too far shines when ever he loses because in failure no one really thinks headbutting your opponent, smashing the tv and throwing the card deck out the window is all that funny but 'that guy' will do it anyway.

So if you're 'that guy' please think before you punch your keyboard or burp in someones face, that's actually HINDERING your chances of being liked.

But who am I kidding, you won't listen to this, anybody who's that guy is in worse denial than holocaust deniers.

And anybody who knows a 'that guy' (I know you all do) i'm sorry, but there's nothing short of rat poison tea and dumping the body in the ocean that can be done.

The Microwave Oven was brought to our homes in 1967. It was designed as an alternate and much faster way to eliminate Gremlins than the conventional oven. It has become a household standard these days for it's convenience and ease of use, you could just trap a Gremlin in it, set it to around 2 minutes (depending on the size) and BOOM, dead Gremlin. Alternatively you could heat up food in it.

Now it is true that the Microwave will heat things up quicker than the conventional oven but, you see, the Microwave works on it's own alternate time. The minutes on a Microwave countdown are even slower than that of a watched clock. 

For example, if you are cooking a pie at 3 mintues in the Microwave, you have time to use the toliet, have a drink, check facebook and pace impatiently and will still have 1.50 left on the countdown, where as if you had 5 minutes untill you needed to leave the house, taking a slash and grabbing a drink will have you leaving 5 minutes late! 

In an attempt to harness the phenomenom that is Microwave Time, Rebel Yell Studies had someone go to bed with a microwave on his bed side table and upon waking setting it to 30 minutes to see if his sleep in felt much longer. However, the subject never got back to us.

So at the moment there is nothing we can do with this strange occurence, maybe sometime in the future in the year 2019, but until then lets all just respect the magical Microwave and enjoy a delicious Microwave pork roast!

Jesus, in his time with us on Earth, had some wacky adventures (watch Hey, Jesus! for more details) and on more than one occasion these began with or involved miracles. These weren't everyday 'bickering-couple-reconciles-for-child's- sake' or 'prostitute-sees-the-error-in-her-ways-and-beco mes-a-lawyer' crap miracles, Jesus performed some pretty great miracles. This article will list 5 of his miracles that you might not know about.

 Frequently Asked Stuff:

Now I can work off my sins and have a personal life!