lauren1

Contacting lauren1

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Monday, September 08, 2008

Plenty Strong and Plenty Wrong

Current mood: calm

I've been wanting to write about hope. but every time I try the word seems to loose all meaning. it sounds empty. it sounds far. I don't want it to sound that way, so I stayed up late just writing about it, thinking that maybe if I tried long enough it would start to make sense. I want this to be different than the other times.

Now is a strange time for me to choose, seeing as how I'm in a place where the word "hope" almost makes me angry. Honesty seems like a bad idea. and truth is doing a good job at hiding in these lies that are spinning around me. I seem to find myself here much too often. I have this "stuff" and I don't know what to do with it. It's like the heat from those burning bridges is always reminding me of them, that maybe I wasn't ready to let go.

It may sound strange, but I say hope is still real. it's still there.

My friend Josh has a song he sings called "I Know You're Not Alone". I've been stuck on that song and the title. I've been thinking about what it means. for me. for you. Maybe it means exactly what it seems to say, and maybe that is bigger than anything that could come between us and "hope". bigger than everything mentioned in the above paragraphs.

I say it does and it is.

I say that song is more powerful than we know. and that the brilliant statement that is the song's title changes everything.

Maybe I'm crazy for believing in this, but I'm convinced it's the only way. I think we need to be reminded of this a lot. Sometimes the running and the burning of bridges can make us feel like we're on our own and we can't go back without looking stupid. "I told you so", can be the hardest thing to face. We don't like to be wrong. "I Know You're Not Alone". And suddenly it's okay, sometimes all it takes is someone to make us stop running. Someone to look back at the burning bridges and cry with us. "Maybe that one wasn't supposed to go". And here we are again. but it's okay. It's okay.

"I Know You're Not Alone".

P.S. Give Josh a listen, he can sing and write music very well. Let's give him some more plays. and a hug. and possibly a thank you. He will appreciate it.

www.myspace.com/joshuamoore

11:37 am - 0 comments - 0 Kudos

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Islands, Beaches, Family, and Iraq

I'm sitting on a hotel balcony looking out over the ocean, completely
in awe of the vastness and power of the water. It's so peaceful now, but
it's still easy to see how quickly it could become your greatest fear.

Anyway, today we are in Wilmington, NC. We left Top Sail Island this morning
but decided we weren't ready to come home. It's just me and my mom and dad,
Grandma and Aunt Donna should be home by now. Uncle Lady and Aunt Teresa headed home yesterday and Riley should be in Greenland about to head to Germany.

I'm listening to Justice and Mercy now and the reality of everything has still not
sunk in completely. We stayed with Riley till the last minuet (2:30 in the morning)
and watched them do the last check and load the buses. I've never seen anything
like it. All the families standing as near as possible, trying to say one last
goodbye to there Marine. There were well over one hundred Marines tensely waiting or the call of the higher ups to load the buses and head out. Some had been over before but most were heading out for the first time.

The trip to Iraq is long. First stop was High Point, NC then a plane ride to Maine. From there they take another plane to Greenland only to take another plane to Germany to take another to Kuwait, then take another plane the rest of the way to whatever part of Iraq they are headed to.

We got to spend a lot of time with Riley before he left. He stayed in the condo with us from Thursday to Sunday night. Saturday we walked to the beach to walk around and look for shells and all that other stuff you do while on the beach. Riley decided to go for a swim while I was walking in the water about knee deep. I wanted to swim so badly but I had on jeans and a t- shirt and didn't think that was the best idea. But the temptation was too much and I took off out toward Riley just wanting to have fun. We swam for probably an hour turning back here and there to look at family on the beach (not that we could really see them at some points). Riley stopped at one point and said that he was having a flash back to when we were little and playing in the creek during the summer, one of us would always "accidentally" fall in and splash the other so we were both wet and might as well swim while we were there. He also had to pick on me a few times "Wow. It did you a lot of good to roll up your pants legs." he said as I came back up from going under a wave. I just smiled, knowing that this experience, this entire time here, would stay with me and help me (and him) get through these 6 to 8 months.

I don't know what's going to happen, and I don't know how this is supposed to go. I don't know how or when I'm supposed to deal with this. I don't know what dealing with it is going to mean, and I don't know how long it's going to take.

What I do know is that this is where he needs to be. This is the best thing that could happen. And I'm sitting here, still on this balcony in the dark listening to the waves roll in and thinking of where he is, sitting on a plane over the Atlantic somewhere not knowing anything about what he's doing. And I think forward to when we go back to that base to watch the busses roll back in, standing with the same people we were with last night, and knowing that the worst is over and that we get our Marine back for a while.

"And I'm starting to belive the ocean is much like You, because it gives and it takes away." - Open Water by Thrice

9:47 am - 0 comments - 0 Kudos

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Spartanburg, SC battle of the bands ft. speaker Ja

Current mood: cheerful

EVENT: Spartanburg Battle of the Bands, with speaker Jamie Tworkowski of To Write Love On Her Arms, will be held one Saturday in May (3rd, 10th, 16th, 23rd, or 30th of 2008).

GOALS: 1. Must raise $1,000 for Jamie to come speak

2. Must raise $500-$600 for winning band

3. All additional money will be donated to TWLOHA

4. Minimum of $2,000 is the overall goal to raise

PLANS: 1. Renee may be able to come speak too; however,

it’s unlikly because of her college schedule.

2. We’ll ask local businesses for donations (Fats, The Clock, Wal- mart, doctors offices, etc.) in return we’ll print flyers with advertisements for their business. If each donated $100 then it would only take 20 businesses to reach $2,000.

3. Bands will pay a fee to participate, and we'll charge a

small fee for people to get in the door.

4. Talk to radio stations about providing people to judge

bands.

5. Christian Supply may be willing to contact a well-known

band to help judge battle.

6. Getting the word out should not be too hard. We’ll have

flyers, Myspace, Facebook, radio stations, and TWLOHA

will put it on their website

7. We’ll begin talking to businesses as soon as a date is

confirmed with Jamie and Restoration (?). If Restoration is

willing to let us hold it there. TWLOHA will have plenty of