so.. i am representing band in the miss merry christmas thing at school. miss merry christmas is sort of a beauty pagent thing the school has every year. beauty pagents always have the talent portion, right? well it has to be 2-4 minutes long..i really really dont want to play my flute, becuase that is wayyyy too obvious..and who at school wants to sit there and listen to me play flute?! kinda seems boring to me. and ive gotta make up for the obvious lack of natural beauty thing..ughh. formal dress. ick XP.. so i want it t be something fun..maybe really comical so i can make an idiot out of myself and it will be on purpose..haha.....annnddd i have to know what im going to do by this tuesday soo... HELP ME?!?! come on im sorta desperate. please?
okay this one is actually a song, but i have no way to put it up on here and make sure it sounds alright because i still dont have sound for right now and the person that plays the guitar part is like never around again,,please comment and critisize...wrote february 21st 2009
Something is always wrong
Its aways has to be your fault
How much more can you take?
Can you last or will you break?
You anticipate the day you can leave
You want to run away, so run away
You dream of someone who cares
someone who loves you; someone who's there
You scream inside, at night you cry
there's nothing you can do with your retched life
You hope that it's an illusion
You cant stand up to the confusion
it knocks you down, it takes you out
it fills your head with worthless doubt
you anticipate the day you can leave
you want to runa away, so run away
you dream of someone who cares
someone who loves you; someone who's there
(run away, just run away)
you scream inside, at night you cry
there's nothing you can do
something is always wrong
it's your fault (so run away)
it's all your fault (just run away)
i wrote this one a long time ago but i just found where i put some of my finished ones...this one was written on October 10th 2007. please read and critisize....
Have you ever had those moments when you dont know whats on your mind?
You're sitting, pen and paper in hand, but you dont know what to write?
Where anything you do is just a waist of time?
When no one knows the truth, and everythings a lie?
Have you ever had those moments when you know you're being talked about;
But whenever you walk by no one makes a sound?
Have you ever had those moments when there's nothing you can do?
When no matter what you do you know your going to lose?
Have you ever had those moments when you wish that you were alseep?
Where you could just wake up and it was all just a dream?
Have you ever had those moments when you could swear that you've been cursed?
Where nothing you could do could make things any worse?
Have you ever had those moments when you wondered if things would change?
Have you thought it would always be this way?
Have you ever had those moments where you wish you could lay down and die;
But when you stop to think about it you don't understand why?
Have you ever had those moments when you dont quite think things through?
When you don't pay attention and you make a wrong move?
When you know that you've messed up and the only thing to do is to give up?
Have you ever had those moments when you know that you have no choice;
But when you try to speak up you don't have your voice?
Have you ever had those moments when you think you have to lie?
Sometimes it's just a part of life.
okay..soo im like totally and completely nervous!!
in band this year half of my section is gradtuating!!..i play thr flute and 2 of the people in my section are seniors,,and the other girl and i are freshmen...graduation is on the 16th (of may) and we will have next years freshmen playing with us then...but thats not saying much.
let me explain a bit...the other freshmen flute player....well,,to be brutally honest,,she sux. the good flute player that is in middle school right now is most likely dropping band cuz she isnt too fond of the director...i dont understand why,,everybody loves mrs. sacco!!...oh well i guess.. the other middle school flute player plays well,,but idk about how great. im hoping great enough.
annywhhoooo,, wednesday is the senior assembly,,where band will be performing....the other freshmen flute player has an orthodontist oppointment 3 hours away that same day!!! so im going to be flyin solo the whole freakin time!! plus in one of the songs i switch from the picolo to the flute back to the piccolo...the first time i ever get to play the piccolo,,and half the notes are really freaking high,, even for the pic!!! ughhh,,that may not sound too great....
then at graduation,,not only are a lot of my friends graduating,,but so is my older brother!! last year when one of my other older brothers (i have 3 older brothers) graduated i cried the whole time,,and i was playing flute then too so that sounded not so great....but at least there was like 6 others to cover up my sound lol...but nooooo this year i'll stand out,,so this should be interesting.
AND.....to top everything off i am trying out for drum major for next year!!!!!!! i have to make up my own salute and i have no idea what im going to do,,but im thinking of adding something small from the thriller dance into it,,cuz next year our show is michael jackson and we will be playing thriller,,billie jean,,and beat it....but idk. the class is going to be interviewing us too,,and the outgoing seniors this year are going to totally slam us...FUN FREAKING FUN (sarcasm) ughhhhh!!! im soooooooo nervous!!!!!!.....mrs. sacco (our director) has already told me that she would try not to let my section influence her decision,,but it might have to,,so that will suck....plus there is a high possibility that i will totally choke and screw up majorly,,and to top everything off with a nice shiny cherry i have NO prior experience!! AGH!...looks pretty bleak,,but it's worth a shot....
but hey,,at least there's the very high chance i'll be section leader and 1st chair
i had to write an acrostic poem for my english 1 class so i thought id put it up here...im going to be trying out new styles of poetry too so...yea. lol
i had this one up b4,,but i recently changed some of it,,so i re-did i on here..here it is....
it's midnight i sit in the field and watch the stars i look to the side
a little way away i see a rose just like myself, it is off all alone a drop of water runs off a pettle left from the rain i stop to think and a tear runs down my face dark in color, black as my soul i wonder how it could have been true what have i done to hurt you? i never meant to make you sad it's so easy to fall victim to the lies like a cookie under pressure, i crumble and break i'm by far not the best girl you'll ever meet but i never thought i deserved this the rumors cut in like a razor to my wrist just like the thorns that hurt with the slightest prick
i look back up at the sky like a perfect picture the stars seem to dance i find them hard to deny so easy to become envious to so bright in my midnight sky.... so happy; carefree, but it never happens to me.. like a blow to the chest a sudden reminder; a reality check i realize you dont mean a thing to me
do you want to be with me?
take a breath
yea that's right, breathe
now hold for 20 minutes
you'll see what you do to me
one look and im absolutely breathless
so completely helpless
like nothing else matters but you and me
when i look at you do you know what i see?
if it is just a dream
will you promise not to wake me?
i could live right here forever,
if it wasnt for reality
i've always been looking for an explination
someone to give love a definition
i never expected to get the perfect answer...
but, hey, you get what you get and i've never been better
ok,,this poem is pretty strange--different than anything i've ever wrote...i especially dont like the title,,so if ya gotta better one tell me.......
im just the girl in the back of your mind
like unspoken thoughts that you try to hide
like a bad dream that occurs every night
a sudden obsession that you cant define
a feeling so strong that it burns you inside
that you get when you see the girl from your mind
im just the girl that will drive you insane
like an addictsfinal puff of sweet cocain
a win/lose situation that has everything to gain
a blow to the chest that leaves you in pain
caused by the girl that will drive you insane
im just the girl that you cant deny
like a breath that you take to keep you alive
that you would trade everything for in the blink of an eye
for a kiss of the lips from the girl you cant deny
im just the girl that you cant help but love
and your just the boy i refuse to give up
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jess.eubanks's blogs, last updated : November 25, 2009
..i really really dont want to play my flute, becuase that is wayyyy too obvious..and who at school wants to sit there and listen to me play flute?! kinda seems boring to me. and ive gotta make up for the obvious lack of natural beauty thing..ughh. formal dress. ick XP.. so i want it t be something fun..maybe really comical so i can make an idiot out of myself and it will be on purpose..haha
.....annnddd i have to know what im going to do by this tuesday 
soo... HELP ME?!?! come on im sorta desperate. please? 
again,,please comment and critisize...wrote february 21st 2009
