Contacting herby190
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Thursday, July 09, 2009

Fires Burn Up

Views: 284
Comments: 2
Like Humble, this is an exercise I did to try to relax, and stop trying to force myself to rhyme in everything I write. Let me know what you think.
We'll always need someone to hate; just to justify our faults.
Bashing the bottom rung of the ladder; eventually we'll have to fall.
From the bottom to the top sounds good at first; in the end even god gets blamed.
Renovation can never end; until we're all left in the dust.
3:05 pm - 2 comments - 0 Kudos - Report!
aimeewhite wrote on Nov 14th, 2009 1:10am

ok this time a little confused sorry explane it to me sometime please <---explane because i said please!!!!;)


PhilipWeller93 wrote on Apr 5th, 2010 11:42am

this is good!
i like the whole idea of it
i know you dont want to rhyme in it
but one more line, or changing the second half of the last line helps round it off and become more memorable, words like unshamed might work nicely.
or maybe use a subtle rhyme like flames, or something ending with "ain"
all in all a good piece
nice and metal!


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