Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore -
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Nameless here for evermore.
And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'
Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!'
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!'
Merely this and nothing more.
Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'
Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.
Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'
Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door -
Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as `Nevermore.'
But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
Then the bird said, `Nevermore.'
Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Never-nevermore."'
But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking `Nevermore.'
This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er, She shall press, ah, nevermore!
Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
`Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'
`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'
`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Lenore?'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'
`Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -
`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'
And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!
Today, one of the most monumental makers of music and a personal hero
of mine, sadly passed away. Michael jackson, with no exaggeration, was
the king of pop. He can never be replaced or duplicated. There is not
one person in this entire world who hadnt heard of him. He took what we
knew to be music and kicked it into overdrive. Without him, many of our
modern day artists would not have even attempted music..yours truly is
included in this number. An innovator of pop, a king of cool, there was
no stopping the incredible force that was Jacko. We will never forget
michael, he has reached us all with his music and we as musicians owe
him the duty of carrying his legacy into our music. He has thought us
so much, now it is our turn to show that his life will always carry on
and burn eternally bright as it did in his career. The creator of the
moonwalk should not and will not be forgotten. Forget the scandals and
remember the legend that is jackson. He was in all essense of the
term..the ultimate popstar. Larger than life, and a commander of our
attention and respect.
May his soul keep living in the hearts of
all he inspired through his being and his music. Michael, not jus one,
but multiple generatins salute and you will be sorely missed, We shall
never forget you.
"You make me want you so bad
You make me want what I've never been able to have" It's one thing to have a relationship end, it's quite another to have a love unrequited and have that person resent you for telling them the truth and defending yourself when they insult you and use you. Recently my relationship with my girlfriend Faye had to end because of too much of a distance between where we live. It was mutual thankfully, we both realised the inevitable and resolved to end the relationship, thankfully without fighting. It was difficult but then someone i considered a friend decided to make it so much worse. I wont name her, out of respect and courtesy to her, but I would've considered her one of my closest friends and for the purpose of this blog she will be named "Blah". When I told Blah that I had broken up with Faye the previous day, Blah decided to tell me that she liked me and that her other friends saw a spark between us. She said she wanted to have a meet to see if her feelings were real and if there was a spark (a meet is an irish term for making-out). So we arranged for her to come to my house because i felt that i had feelings for her, (she had broke up with her bf 2 months before and hadn't had a meet since)
All went well and I thought that there was definitley something between us, something strong and passionate. It was only when i dropped her home that things became apparent. We started to text afterwards and talking bout that day, when i asked her about maybe going out sometime, she said that she had only wanted the meet cos she was feeling frustrated from not havin met anyone in the 2 months since her last relationship ended and dat she would never even remotely consider going out with me cos she was goin after someone else (someone who's basically everything i'm not....tall, good lookin, toned etc). She said she would only ever be interested in bein friends with benefits..anyone who knows me knows that i dont like that kind of thing because i see no point in having a physical relationship with a girl who is adamant bout never wanting more from it
So i told her i wasn't interested in friends with benefits but still wanted to be friends and if she wanted to go with the other guy i wouldnt be hurt, jus happy that someone is making her happy. She started saying thats why she wudnt eveer consider goin out wit me becos im too nice. So we started arguing a bit as she started to insult me, and she said she didn want to be even friends anymore because I'm only ever a hassle to her
The text that really got to me was this one
"yur just so fricken clingy and desperate 4 ppl 2 like u nd d fact that i talked 2 u was great 4 u since dat rarely happens dat a girl talks to yu"
She went on to say that i'm needy, annoying, a hassle, clingy and desperate for a gf. Personally this hurt like hell because if I'm so unbearable for girls, then why did she say she fancied me, then ask me to meet her and the day after take everythin she sed bout fancying me back and sayin that she cud never fancy me. Basically this has sent me into a depression spiral and i'm doubting if any girlfriend i had ever really liked me or was jus usin me to fill their time. I'm wondering if any friends i have think the same as she does and i'm doubting if i'm good enough for anyone because i was only ever myself with her and always completely honest and dat wasn't even remotely good enough for her
Ok so this is my first time writing a proper blog that isnt a song or a questionnaire or anything like that so lets see how it goes
" and when a heart breaks it dont break even"
So basically there have been some tough times recently, the biggest of which would be the realisation that my girlfriend was cheating on me with her ex...... not exactly something you want to happen am i right?. And the thing is this isnt the first time i've been cheated on, happened with my first gf (so you can guess how my relationship path is starting to form). I'm now a broken man, a shadow of my former self. Feelings of inadequecy and insecurity seem to be taking over my persona, feelings i had once thought had left me completely 2 months after I broke up with my first gf for cheating on me. Those feelings have been the only guaranteed constant in my life and that is a sorrowful feeling. My only comfort is comin in the form of a pen, notebook and a guitar.
It's a horrible feeling when the person who you trust most turns their back on you and makes you feel like you're the one to blame for their infidelity. It's even worse when you start to believe them and doubt your own self-certainty. I would, however, like to thank two very special people for keeping me on track and supporting me when i was down. Those people are Aileen and Tracy... also known here as Falloutboy and Whimsical. Thanks so much you guys for showin me the brightside to life. I'ld be lost without you two girls, a boat without its lighthouse. You're the best ppl i kno and im so lucky to have you two in my life. And also thanks to non-uger but best friend Chloe for helpin me through it too when i was about to let it all out in school.
"Just because I'm losing doesnt mean I've lost"
Trouble number 2 came in the form of a thriat infection which stood to wreck my chances of ever singing again. It started 2-3 weeks ago when I was asked to perform for my school's open day (basically where prospective students and their parents come to see the school and its workings). I saw this as a fantastic yet absolutely frightening opportunity as i had never performed in public (unless you count for music class or on the Meitheal training course) To kindof take the pressure off me a bit, i decided to do songs which arent really known here. I'm a big lover of american bands and artists so it wasnt hard to find the songs
"blue eyes" - cary brothers "you and me" - lifehouse "everything we had" - The academy is... "daughters" - john mayer "to her, with love" - Kara's flowers "broken" - lifehouse
and then threw in one from my fav irish band "the man who can't be moved" - The script
now it all went ok.. was a lil nervous at first but got over it... the problem started later when i was back home and havin trouble talking, turns out i put too much pressure on my voice by doin a lot of falsetto durin the set and developed a throat infection
I was told that i shudnt sing for at least a month... absolute devestation for me cos its my passion, anyone who saw me durin it would ahve seen that i was absloutely destroyed and felt like i was fightin a losin battle Thankfully it is gettin better and i can start to sing gently again as long as I dont overdo it, so hopefully i'll be grabbin those high notes again soon, especially seein as my music practical exam is in 3 months
It's been 17 days since the two of us talked One suitcase packed and then you walked So much left to do, So much left to say Crescendo footsteps come take my blues away And now I just want you to know
That when you're with me I feel like I'm someone Someone who knows where they belong Please don't ever leave, don't ever go Stay with me, Suburban Soul
Take a backseat now for once in your life See the back of me, take out her knife See why I cannot do everything you say This cracked heart can break easily And now I want you to know
That when you're with me I feel like I'm someone
Someone who knows where they belong
Please don't ever leave, don't ever go
Stay with me, Suburban Soul That when you're with me I feel like I'm someone
Someone who knows where they belong
Please don't ever leave, don't ever go
Stay with me, Suburban Soul
Song Game (name the song and artist and i'll highl
01."Where do i aim when i shoot the breeze" 02."My head is sayin no, but my heart keeps givin in" 03."All the good girls, at home with broken hearts" 04."If you needed love, well then ask for love" 05."I wanna take you home, I wont do you no harm" 06."A strangled smile fell from your face" 07."You're cryin out for conversation, but you'll be the one who cannot talk" 08."Help me, torn apart my insides, Help me, got no soul to sell" 09."If i give my heart to you, i must be sure" 10."See the pyramids along the Nile" 11."So far away from where you are" 12."I wring you out as i hang you out to dry" 13."You gotta stand for something or you'll fall for anything" 14."I cant get to sleep, think about the complications" 15."Someday somebody's gonna ask you" 16."Hello my friend we meet again, its been a while where should we begin"