to meet women, i was told that my social circle would need to expand. not with just girls, but with guys as well. after work a couple of weeks ago i stopped into a commercial-chain-coffee-shop, and waited in line for well over ten minutes. the people in front of me were all professional looking. like they all knew each other because they were so much alike. a man, two college graduates ahead of me, was chatting violently into his cell phone. it looked like a boxing match between his mouth and the microphone. sharp swift words that came off as punches, and a tough square jaw that said "i won't let up". in between rounds he was trying to order a drink, which sounded similar to a choreographed dance that had been rehearsed a few to many times.
i was dressed from head to toe in black. cheap, un-polished dress shoes from sears, home hemmed pin striped pants that were possibly one size to big with a black shirt tucked in. two buttons on the top were left untouched revealing a rather thick, expensive, gold chain over a young chest. my sleeves were rolled up high, and you could see veins jutting out of my forearms. all i wanted was a green tea, it was late and coffee would only keep me awake longer, something i never wanted.
behind the counter i got a glimpse of the three baristas. an old mexican looking lady who looked like she had greeted the sixteenth century conquistadors on the beach naked. fuck, i feel sorry for sea men. the other women had a cute charm to her, probably about twenty-two, with dark glasses and matching hair down a bit past her neck flirting with the back. the saab parked out front probably belonged to her, i saw the eyeglasses case on the passengers seat, it was now in my pocket.
the only man was tall with a shaggy dirty blonde beard, unkept hair, a good smile, and the standard green apron. he was pulling the next heavy weight champion's coffee. it included all of the twirls, flutters, and falls a dancer may come by. the work he was doing was executed in a less focused manner than the work of four eyes, but his personality spilled out all over the apron. i wonder if he could stand in a circle?
"throw your arms out and say welcome. bend over so far back that it hurts to think negatively. give up everything you're use to for something that everyone around you says is better. squeezing off the veins from my chest, i'm pressing the weight of my mind over and over. set for set, rep for rep, round after round. two thousand and eight reasons it didn't work, and a ninth is emerging. plush is the purpose of starving, and starving loses its appeal after you've taken a bite."
"fuck" i had left my jacket at work. already making it halfway through the line i didn't want to have to wait again, but the jacket was to expensive to leave in that place. running out the door everyone looked at me like i was some sort of cancer going into remission. whatever. rob was still working, he was closing up tonight. my hand opened up the green door, all i could smell was pizza. "i left my jacket here, bro." i hated the way i spoke. no confidence, stumbling, hard to hear. it seemed like an introverted kid was trying to make a stand but didn't have the slightest idea how.
"nick, while you're hear i wanna tell you something between you and me..." rob sounded serious, but playful at the same time. picking up my jacket, my attention was focused on him. "you know that girl mary who just started working here the same time as you?" not letting me respond..."i fucked her two weeks before she applied."
wow. mary is a little chubby, large breasts, and a great looking face, like a big beautiful porn star. instead of having a big guy roll her over and giving her what she deserves, she works here. mary gets what she deserves every night. rolling out dough just the right way, putting a lot of ass into it. enough where all the brazillian chefs, in this italian restaurant of course, talk about her flour sacks out back when they're smoking spliffs.