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Sunday, August 01, 2010

To all of UG

Current mood: happy

A few days ago, i made a thread asking UG for help on winning an amp.

I'm proud to say i won it, but it was only thanks to you. 
The following is a list with everyone who helped.

You may have noticed some names repeat themselves, those people helped me get to the final, and helped me win it, some of them even asked people to vote for me. To all of you, and all of UG, thank you.
If you voted and did not post in the thread, comment here and i'll add you to the list. 
9:06 am - 15 comments - 10 Kudos
Wednesday, December 30, 2009

I'm Pregnant.

Current mood: happy

It had been a long, long day, and i needed to get my mind of things, specially since i'd found that penny in a beehive and tried to retrieve it. Also, i was being sick in the morings, which could only mean one thing......my harpoon had to be manned. So, i went to see the local witch doctor, to find out if he could help, the doctor was a little strange, the pink beard he used didn't inspire much trust, he asked me to drop my pants and in my eagerness to go home and cook dinner, i agreed. I stood in his room, scared and slightly warm, he very quickly kneeled and started to look at the bulge in my boxers, after much poking, proding and strange groaning from the doctor, he stood up, looked me in the eye, and said: "You're pregnant, son."
I simply couldn't belive him, i started to backtrack my every move, until i went back to last night.
The night before, i'd been to a house party with my friends, but apart from those friends, i knew nobody. We walked into the bar, and then it happened... She looked at me with those honey sweet eyes that made me want to be her bear, she stepped towards me and leant in, looking me in the eyes, touching me on the stomach, she whispered:
"I'm Alice. It's Triplets"
She stood back and gave me the dirstiest look i have ever seen, her eyes filled with lust, and lips craving.
She turned and walked away, with a slight smile on her face. That's when it happened. I suddenly felt a searing pain in my stomach, and it started to get bigger, and bigger, until i couldn't see my feet any more, only then did i remeber that smile, that diabolical smile that a misterious girl had thrown me at the porno movie i went to see the day before, it was her, i'd read about her in magazines and watched her on tv. She had a special power, she could make people pregnant, we'd seen eachother before, but i never realized it was her, although she was a misterious woman that wasn't the only power of hers i'd gotten to know, that's when i knew id been attacked. By looking at me she had snared me into looking into her eyes, and i got distracted. I was pregnant, all thanks to that girl.
I needed to find her, i couldn't be a single parent, i needed a father for my children, I asked the doctor who she was. He said he'd heard of her before, and whispered to me: "Follow me, be quiet". He shouted at the top of his voice: "OPEN THAT FUCKING DOOR!" and a small door, previously hidden opened into a darkened hallway. We walked down it, and the doctor handed me a small piece of paper with an address and a telephone number. He slapped my ass, winked and said: "go get 'er".
I reached into my pocket and took out my phone, i called her but she simply said: "come get me".
I arrived at the house, and as i walked to the door, it opened before me. Stepping inside, i felt someone touch my neck, i turned and there she was. My impregnator, my childrens' father. I turned to her, leaned in and whispered in her ear: "You owe me child maintanence money." She threw her cheque book at me, and fled from the house.
That's how i, Paulo Leal, were impregnated with triplets by Alice Irvine.

7:24 pm - 5 comments - 7 Kudos