1.Chuck Norris and Lance Armstrong had a who has the most balls contest,Chuck Norris won by 5. 2.Chuck Norris once had a masive erection while lying down,he struck oil. 3.Chuck Norris also had a masive erection walking down the sidewalk,there were no survivers. 4.Chuck Norris was laid before his dad. 5.When Chuck Norris was born the only one who cried was the doctor.Nobody slaps Chuck Norris. 6.Outerspace only exsists because it's afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris. 7.Chuck Norris played Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun, and won. 8.Before the boogyman goes to bed every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. 9.When Chuck Norris was born all the nurses in the hospital became mysterously pregnant. 10.Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch;HE desides what time it is. 11.Chuck Norris knows the last digit of PI 12.Chuck Norris counted to infinity-twice. 13.Chuck Norris can divide by zero. 14.Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his rage. 15.There is no chin under Chuck Norris' beard,only another fist.