How to be a dick... to your girlfriend! Pt. 1 of ? 1) Actually give a damn and try to care for her. 2) Actually call her when she asks you to. 3) Buy her a chocolate cake and/or favorite treat then deliver it. 4) Call her by pet names to show you care. 5) Find her a 14K gold ring and give it to her thinking that the thought would count. 6) Find that same 14k gold ring and not care what it cost you. 7) Tell her you love her so she'll think that you're a hopeless dumbass and expect you to be there for her everytime she needs you and drop her like rock. 8) Tell her you love her and mean it. 9) Walk 4 fucking miles when she may not even be able to come see you. 10) When she says you'll cheat on her and you promise her you won't, actually do it. 11) Promise you won't cheat, then do it anyway. 12) When you get into an arguement, throw shit in her face because its all you can do to defend your half of the arguement. 13) When you get into an arguement ninja her ass after she tries to ninja you (this way you WILL win).
P.S. This can be applied just as easily to your boyfriend with minor changes that my esteemed co-author and I are 100% certain you can figure out on your own.
P.P.S. check out my myspace profile (myspace.com/metalmdeusaleadguitar) or my co-author's myspace profile (myspace.com/slim_shady89) for future additions to our internet web book series "How to be a dick..."
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How to be a dick v1.1 by $hady and Mephisto blog
