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Thursday, January 17, 2008

kinda fucked up... don't trust myself to make (sex

k, i took a lot of drugs today and now i'm slightly less capable of shutting the fuck up and making healthy decisions than i normally would be, so i'm going to rant here for a while and hopefully get some advice from relatively level-headed/sober people.

so imagine you're an excessively horny seventeen year old stoner / speed freak in training and fix my problems... jk lol.

ok. your old dealer - let's call him luke, just for shits 'n' giggles -  is reasonably good looking but either slightly crazy (harmless though) or jsut on harder drugs than you realized. this might be an issue for most people - and by "most people", i mean anyone who isn't on drugs/deeply confused about men due to secret daddy issues/suffering from an addictive personality, and just short of a sex addiction because of the current lack of fuckable men - but you're equally crazy and can put up with his drug use and personality flaws as long as nothing happens to his junk. which is honestly one of the very few things that make him tolerable, at least while you're sober (shallow, yes, but so far, not an issue). so here's the problem. he says he has a girlfriend, but you can't really assume that he's telling the truth, and if he is, the new gf might not even get in the way... the first time you fucked was in the bathroom at the local pool after hours, and he didn't even mention that he had broken up with his gf until you brought it up to keep from feeling like such a whore. but whether or not he's taken, you don't know the bitch and it's not like he'd confess to her anyway (lol @ anyone who actually gets attached to that kid... hehe). and here's the part that's actually troubling... (to me, anyway, i suppose it'd depend what drugs you're on). anyway. your BFFL (we'll call her jenny) needs sex about as bad as you do... she's gone 4 months, you've gone 2, but it evens out because you're way too horny and she's getting used to not having a BF around to take care of her. luke may have an ok-looking friend who can come with him to meet you and jenny, but he probably won't put that much thought into it so you and jenny are prepared to share him. there's a few different ways this could go down:

1). luke does both of you, jenny gets seconds because she cares more about getting off than you do and you're just a nice person like that. cross your fingers and hope nobody gets jealous or gets attached to anyone.

2). wait until there's 2 fuckable guys for you and jenny to have fun with, who dont' come with history or drama... the downside to this is that you can't be sure the new guy will be as good as luke, and it might take a long-ass time to find the guys and the drugs and make sure you have a steady supply of condoms. (and if you didn't figure this out already, patience is not one of your strong points.)

3). just go fuck luke on your own time, but deal with guilt and possible awkwardness afterwards, and maybe end up having to pay for the cab or gas money.

gah... what to do... i know i can find "jenny" someone to fuck around with, no problem, and i dont' mind sharing luke, but we had planned on each having a guy to ourselves and now i have to find a way to make sure jenny and i both get our fix, without pissing anyone off or screwing up relationships, like... ASAP. and this is all based on the assumption that luke's a cheater... which he pretty much is, but now and then he tries to be a good boyfriend... kind of...

so yeah. pick one... i'm too speedy, horny and confused to decide for myself right now.

4:30 pm - 22 comments - 2 Kudos
Thursday, December 27, 2007


i hate this. i'm currently deprived of coffee, cigarettes (kind of), weed, booze and sex... all the things that make my life worth living. i can't drink coffee because i can't get any fucking pills until i get on a regular sleep schedule. i have a cold, and my mom thinks it's bronchitis, so i have to pretend to quit smoking. i have plenty of money for weed and booze, but i'm currently not able to leave the house.. SO i'm fucked. i'm fucking baked right now... i've been smoking constantly for almost a week now... i feel so burnt out. >.<

i hate christmas.
6:04 am - 3 comments - 0 Kudos
Sunday, November 04, 2007

songs that make girls like me take their clothes o

everyone asks what songs they can play to make girls like them... so here's a list. i don't know if this applies to girls in general (probably not), but it applies to me so STFU.

The Killigans - Road Down
Tiger Army - Hechizo de Amor, Outlaw Heart
Hellbilly Club - Raw Lust
Batmobile - Shoot Shoot, Sex Rays
Reverend Horton Heat - Crooked Cigarette, D for Dangerous, It's a Dark Day, Lonesome Man, Native Tongue of Love (yeah, Rev. Horton Heat's more of a pimp than you'll ever be.)
Jimmy Buffett - Margaritaville

i'll update this when i have more time. til then, happy panty-removing.
ps: alcohol can only help.
9:13 am - 13 comments - 0 Kudos
Sunday, September 09, 2007

fucking pigs...

i went to massachusetts with my family around the end of august, and during the 4 days we were there an ex-friend of mine, Spencer, stole probably around $2000 from my dad.

---- for you foreigners: in california we have a store called safeway. they recently came out with this thing called Fast Forward, where you can pay for shit and withdraw cash with just a phone number and a PIN. ----

so Spencer's seen me use Fast Forward about a hundred times and probably has the number memorized. he was fucking retarded about it too... he'd buy like a redbull and Cosmo and take out like $185 a couple times a day. THAT'S HOW THE COPS KNOW A TEENAGER DID IT... SHIT!! so yeah, i gave up his info to the cops. i hate cops, but i hate spencer more. and he fucking bragged about it to a girl i know... i guess he thought she'd never tell me because he told her i hated her, but we chilled earlier tonight and she told me. sooooooo.... he better go to juvie or else i'm kicking his ass to fucking Boston. yeah.
10:11 am - 9 comments - 0 Kudos