Sarge: "Simmons, i want you to poison Griff's next meal" Simmons: "Yes sir!"
Sarge: "Thats exactly it private, the wars over, we won, turns out your the big hero. We're gonna hold a parade in your honour, i get to drive the float. And Simmons here is in charge of confetti!!
Doc: "I think Tuckers kid drank a whole gallon! Wow, isn't that cool?! i think he's gonna be a linebacker... Or a vampire... Or a vampire-linebacker!!! Thatd be crazy!" Caboose:"I feel dizzy!" Church: "Um, is he gonna be ok?" Doc: ....But blood is pretty important, so Caboose is bound to see some side effects such as a sensitivity to light..... and dizzyness.... Caboose: "I think I'm gonna stop standing up now...." Doc: "And passing out" Caboose: "Church, if i die, i want you to have my orange juice....."
Church: "Dibs." Simmons: "WHAT?! Church: "Dibs. I just called dibs. This is my ship now. Dibs." Simmons: "No, it isn't jackass, we found it first!" Church: "Yeah, but you didnt call dibs. I did. Dibs. See? Griff: "You can't just call dibs on a spaceship!!" Church: "I just did. Dibs. Look, there i go again. Dibs. Now, get the fuck away from my ship tomatoe-can."
Robot: "To mark this message as urgent, please press 11" Tucker: "There is no 11 you fucking WHORE!!!" Church: "Ah, bad language!"
Church: Tucker theres something i need to tell you. Tucker: What is it? Church: I just want you to know... I always hated you, I always hated you the most. Tucker: Yeah... i know you did now hurry up and die you prick!!
Griff: "Sorry, there were no more aliens for you guys to fuck!!" Tucker: "Thats ok, we'll fuck this one!" Girl: "Woohoo!" Griff: "WHAT THE HELL!! OK, send her back!" Church: "No takebacks!" Griff: "FUCK!"
Tank: "Firing Main Cannon" Simmons & Griff: "SON OF A BITCH!" Tank: "Firing Main Cannon" Tucker & Church: "SON OF A BITCH!"
Tucker: "Wait, whos Sheila?" Caboose: "Sheila was the lady in the tank. She was my friend." Tucker: "Dude, i told you. You CAN pick up chicks in a tank."
Tucker: "Yeah, like a mercenary, they work for whoever has the most money. Or your mom, when the rents due." Caboose: "Oh, funny..."
Griff: "Aha! I knew it! Only a chick could give me a headache this big!"
Caboose: "I should have known, she didnt like me. Girls never like me. Ever." Tucker: "Caboose, i don't think anybody likes you." Caboose: "i like me...."
Simmons: "Donut, all your anti-drug talk is making me WANT to do drugs" Donut: "No, Simmons, choose life, choose life, Simmons"
Tucker: "So, underneath all this AI lies, a normal, sweet chick?" Church: "Hell no, shes always been a rotten bitch. Just now shes a rotten bitch with cybernetic enhancements."
Sarge: "... Now get your ass up here!! We got just enought time to spraypaint this bullseye on your back. And by bullseye, i of course mean camoflauge."
Sarge: "Why in hell did you give me CPR for a bullet wound to the head?! What if i got stabbed in the toe, would ya rub aloe vera on my neck?!" Griff: "Your welcome, Sarge"
Griff: "Stop, Lopez, stop!! Alto! Alto! Simmons: "Alto means TALL in Spanish, ya dumbass..." Griff: "Then why do they put it on stop signs?"
Simmons: "Simmons isn't a Spanish name, dumbass. I'm Dutch-Irish." Donut: "I'm from Iowa!" Griif & Simmons: "NOBODY CARES!"
Sarge: "Lopez, i never understood a word you said, but you hated Griff, and thats the most important thing. Adios amigo.... Adios..." Simmons: "Shouldnt we help him?" Sarge: "Nah, that'd just ruin the moment"
Sarge: "I only drink the blood of my enemies! That, and the occasional strawberry yoohoo, and sasparilla..."
Caboose: "The only voice i hear is the voice telling me to kill all my friends before they kill me...." (long pause) Caboose: "Wait, you dont hear that?"
Doc: "I was just trying to help..." Griff: "Really? Oh is that all? I was totally confused. I thought you were savagely trying to kill our Sargeant by ramming him over and over with a 6000 pound death machine. But now that we know you were trying to help, by all means, please continue." Doc: "Really?" Griff & Simmons: "YEAH."
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