Do you ever get the kind of day when nothing ever goes right and then when you complain all people say to you is something like 'stop complaining' or 'it's your fault anyway?' Yeah me to only it's really beggining to bugg me now because for the past like, month nothing has been going right what so ever, as in, I find out my boyfriend fancys someone else, I threten to kill myself and nerly all of my friends just incourage me to do it and my mum sill wont let me moove school and to be honst with you I don't even care if I moove to housedown or applemore anymore because I just want to get away from the total hell hole i'm in at the moment. And yes like people keep telling me, other kinds in Affrica have it much worce, but all I can think about what their saying is simply, they can't change what their life is like because there is no possible way to change it but we have it a lot different over here so why can't we change silly things like that in our life.
And youre probally not going to beleve this but I have only actrally moaned about how I'm feeling to about three peopel, other then that I'm completly silent because I'm soooo used to being quiet because nobody ever wants me around anymore, my mate Caitlin keeps telling me not to be so deppressed and I try my best to amke her listen that when I do tell her that I'm not depressed because I know that my life isn't that bad but she never even botheres to listen so I've began to just realize that I migth as well shut the hell up.
Yesterday I was getting loads of stuff thrown at me at lunchtime and when I went mad because they where year sevens (who where kind of leathel because of the glass, stones and open milkshake bottles that they where throwing at me) and I shoved one of them, pratically all of the chav's in my whole year groop are now after me because some really stupid asshole somehow managed to spred it around nearly the whole school that I tried to stab the dude. All i can say to that really is no I didnt because if didnt have a knife and also if I did it would only be one of thoes rubbish plastic one's that can't even be used at lunch, let alone to even try and harm someone else. This girl called Ellie keeps telling her stupid litle crowny friends to tell me that she's going to beat me up, but luckly so far she hasn't and I really dont want her to but if she doesn't then she's jusat all mouth and no action. But to be honst with you I just cany be bothered with all the crap so I'm just going to do what my Mum would say and stay away from everything that I can.
Still I suppose I'm getting used to mistaks in my life , I mean, look at me, I so obviously am a mistake because my mum told me that the condom ripped when she was drunk so I'm not really ment to be here. Ha mega lolz, that just about proovs everything. Doesn't it?????
Still, at least I can still go and see Bring Me The Horizon next Friday.