This is the story of a brave, brave Viking named Hrothgar Skullcleaver and his battle with the fearsome and mighty Scrumpflehumpfle. It is celebrated on the 503rd Friday of every year.It celebrates the day that the mighty viking King Hrothgar Skullcleaver killed the mighty Scrumpflehumpfle. Now, before we begin this story, let me pain you a picture of this fearsome beast. Don't let the name fool you, this beast can kill a man very easily. He measures about 25 feet tall. His tail is 50 ft long and covered in razor sharp spines. He is a cross between a dragon and a Cave Troll. His teeth are razor sharp and carry a toxin so potent that a mere scratch is enough to kill a full grown Giant. He has 8 long arms, each with claws the size of broadswords on them. He can breath fire which can turn rock into lava in a mere 2 seconds. His eyes are as red as blood, and the size of grapefruits. This is a menacing creature who feeds on anything he can find, but enjoys humans the most. Now, onto the story.
You see, back then, Hrothgar was only a Viking. He wasn't king yet, but he was the most fearsome warrior in the land.When the Scrumpflehumpfle started terrorizing the clan's village, Hrothgar declared he would kill it. He used his mighty enchanted swordRichard to kill this unholy beast. He entered the woods where the mighty and fearsome Scrumpflehumpfle had his abode and knocked on the beast's door, but had no luck. It seemed that the beast was not home, but he entered anyway. The best entered the house not long after he did with an arm full of groceries. The beast saw Hrothgar and dropped his groceries and ran at him to attack him. Knowing that this would be to the death, Hrothgar drew his mighty and magical sword Richard and yelled his battle cry, "FOR VLAD!!" and attacked the beast.
The battle lasted several hours. Hrothgar was wounded, but not mortally. The beast was down to it's last 3 arms (having a total of 8). His shield had been broken long ago, and proved useless against the creature's firebreath. THe fight lasted several more hours, and Hrothgar's face was burned from the Scrumpflehumpfle's firebreath.
In the end, it was our fearless hero Hrothgar Skullcleaver that proved victorious. He slit the beast's throat and cut off it's head as a trophy. He then took the beast's groceries and money from it's wallet, then headed back home to his nice village of Visengrad. He brought back the fell creature's head to the king, and the king resigned his throne and gave it to Hrothgar Skullcleaver. The day the Scrumpflehumpfle was killed was the 503rd friday of that year
and that is why we celebrate Scrumpflehumpfle day on that day. It is celebrated to remind us of the bravery of King Hrothgar Skullcleaver and his fight with that unholy beast those many years ago.