This hurts so much. I know now that I have to let you go, but why does it have to be so hard. I'm so tired of waiting and hoping that maybe someone like you would come along and just take all the pain away. I can't cry because it's not worth it and I don't want you to know. Sure, you'll always be there but not how I'd like you to be. It's normal, it's life, it's a lesson we have to learn sometime. You stole my breath, changed me in so many ways. Gave me faith, made me believe that there was something here for me.
I'll help her as I have all the others. She's starting to like you again, and I know you'll deny it, but you miss her too. I never stood a chance, I'll just back off.
Things happen in 3's. This is the third time this has happened, so haven't I gotten used to this?
I always paint a smile but it fades with time and has to be painted again. Each one is more fake. People look to me for help, faith, trust. I still don't know why. I'm not superhuman. I'm just like everyone else aren't I?
One little word can totally mess you up...one so simple as 'love'. It's the most painful word I know. I hold my friends close, as family and I always tell them I love them. But I shouldn't because I forgot the true meaning of the word.
I'm happy to watch my friends be happy and in love. I'm the one that is good alone, the one that smile's and laughs through bleeding because they think I can tolerate the pain. They're wrong. I have emotions but I never let them out and when I do I snap.
I'm strong, I can take shit but only so much. Why can't you guys see that? Why are you all so stupid? Why are you so blind? Why don't you realize that when things like this happen that it totally fucks up another person and it causes them to think this way and wounds them a little?
They worry because now the face is faded, they can see it now. Tears lay on my eyes but I won't let them out. If I have to deal with this, then fine. Everyone does. This doesn't single me out as different from everyone else. I'm well aware everyone goes through this but the process is diverse between beings.
I'll hold it back. Watch you smile and move on with my life. Only probably is that it's not that easy to forget.
Shit hurts but remember....it's not your shit it's someone elses and you only have to deal with it if you choose to do so. You are obviously aware of this and I do not pretend to know your situation but like you said....you'll get over it...till then I'll be thinking about you and hoping/praying for your best.....take care...Godspeed
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