'Just so long as you stay here, I'll always be your hero.'
Now it's my turn. I'll go to any length now to find you, because this is what friends do. I'll search through hell and high water because I told you so. Joe and Debbie are going to pay dearly when I my hands on them . I swear on my life.
A promise is a promise, and this is one I plan to keep.
Dimebag Darrell god bless that man ripped from us by the devil's hand the only thing in his plan was love and rock 'n roll cowboy from hell on a twisted trail swept away where the wild winds wail sad truth is you can never tell when it's your time to go
Bad news travels faster than any good news that you hear just one more dark disater makes you wonder why we're here
Where were you in '94 when they found him down there on the floor guess Kurt could take no more, needle and a gun where did you sleep last night with the angels locked up tight Love was his only lie, did she have another one?
Bad news travels faster than any good news that you hear just one more dark disater makes you wonder why we're here (3x)
Dude, it's all my fault. But I'm not just to blame. I'm not sure how to explain how you've changed, we both have. You have issues, they're all different, just like us. I can't say I'm sorry for two reasons: you wouldn't listen, and it wouldn't be enough. I don't expect us to ever be how we were. Let alone, ever speak again.
I said...
'For starters, you have an ego as big as your damn mouth, and your a fake fucking Christian hypocrite'.
Truth is, where do I even have room to talk? What is this 'faith' that I supposedly have? Where is everything that I thought I was...really now...who am I? Who have a become?
These eyes can't cry for you anymore. I wanted to look you in the eyes so bad, but it wouldn't be the same. I loved you as my brother, with everything. Does it mean anything now? My soul came back to life, everything had meaning again. What happens now? I know I'm the only one that can save myself. I have my own issues, and yeah, I'll admit, sometimes I can't handle them. I whine, bitch and complain about them and just refuse to stand up. I guess, this is where I should wake up.
I ask...
'So where's my hero now?'
The last thing I remember you said...
'Some heroes die.'
And I had to be the bitch and yell out 'smartass' instead of something that would've meant something.
You can't believe what you can't see. You can't always go on what you feel or what you think might be going through another persons mind. Life doesn't work that way. One more time...if i could hold you just one more time, and tell you how much you meant to me as my friend, I could let go peacefully.
But you and I both know, that I can't go peacefully. I should but I won't. I'm stubborn, and am well aware I have an ego. Whether you want to believe me or not, everything we worked for... it still means something to me.
I'm just a step away, I'm just a breath away Losin' my faith today (I'm falling off the edge today) I am just a man, not superhuman (I'm not superhuman) Someone save me from the haze Just another war, just another family torn Just a step from the edge, just another day in the world we live I need a Hero to save me now I need a Hero to save me now I need a Hero to save my life A Hero will save me just in time I've got to fight today to live another day Speaking my mind today (My voice will be heard today) I've got to make a stand, but I am just a man (I'm not superhuman) My voice will be heard today Just another war, just another family torn (My voice will be heard today) Just another year, the countdown begins to destroy ourselves I need a Hero to save me now I need a Hero to save me now I need a Hero to save my life A Hero will save me just in time I need a Hero to save my life I need a Hero just in time Save me just in time Save me just in time Who's going to fight for what's right? Who's going to help us survive? We're in the fight of our lives (And we're not ready to die) Who's going to fight for the weak? Who's going to make them believe? I've got a Hero living in me! Who's going to fight for what's right? Today I'm speaking my mind And if it kills me tonight, I will be ready to die A Hero's not afraid to give His life A Hero's going to save me just in time.. Chorus: I need a Hero to save me now I need a Hero to save me now I need a Hero to save my life A Hero will save me just in time I need a Hero Who's going to fight for what's right? Who's going to help us survive? I need a Hero Who's going to fight for the weak? Who's going to make them believe? I need a Hero I need a Hero A Hero's going to save me just in time...
So for the past few days, I've been...well...feeling lost. I took a good hard look at the people I hang with, my lifestyle and how, myself, I am. It's actually quite bizarre. I'm just like a normal teen. Trapped by the everyday drama of highschool and friends and on the weekends, the laid back chick that plays guitar in the back or hangs with a couple friends each day when possible. It's really not that bad.
In my friends, I'm all around. I don't stick to just one group. Mostly guys, the rockers and the fake skater boys. The girls...the awesome outcasts that I call my 'sisters'. They're all my family, the older ones my brothers and sisters, the younger ones *freshys and sophmores and below* are my 'kids'. Not many people are this lucky to have the friends that cling to you that way. Though as I get older, I get more distant with them. It's all part of growing up.
At home, despite my bad attitude, my Dad is pretty awesome. We get along except when we're both pissed about something and my attitude gets a little out of control. I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food in my gut and a couple guitars in my closet and under my bed. Not a bad life whatsoever.
Religion. One word that totally scares the musician out of me. I'm not lost but split on certain things. People influence me and they shouldn't. It's very complicated.
Love. 'The One' is yet to come. I shouldn't be in a hurry but I want to find that certain someone that can just...well you know what I mean. That wants me for me and not as just an object he can control. Ya know?
I realize, that my life is changing. I will be 17 in February and it seems like yesterday I was walking into my first day of 2nd grade. I'm a junior now for musics' sake!!! I'm too young to feel this old It's unreal.
I keep trying to read and catch up with my assignments. I've been gone for about a week because I've been sick. For some reason, I can't focus. I have this thing floating around in my mind but haven't the faintest idea what it could be. It's like I'm waiting for something...anything.
I broke up with Chris this morning and actually have no guilt. He was just clingy, but the sad part is, it was through texting. I hate people that insist on texting me every two minutes wondering what I'm doing AND you don't EVER tell someone you love them after only dating for 2 days! That is one rule he broke that won't get past me! I hate it when guys do that crap, they don't mean it and it really hurts even if it doesn't matter. I wasn't ready to fall for anyone anyway. The only thing with second chances, sometimes people never change.
I was missed by my friends and minions. Normal behavior because I sortof left without a trace for about the first three days. Ben, Jadea, Susie, and Jared (and Chris ) were the only ones that knew I was gone at first but things spread fast even in secret.
My visions blurry (literally) and I just want to go somewhere quiet again. Silence felt good for a few days. No drama, no crap, nothing.
Joel (Byrnes) came by yesterday to visit. It was nice to see him for a change. He comes out of nowhere swear.
This hurts so much. I know now that I have to let you go, but why does it have to be so hard. I'm so tired of waiting and hoping that maybe someone like you would come along and just take all the pain away. I can't cry because it's not worth it and I don't want you to know. Sure, you'll always be there but not how I'd like you to be. It's normal, it's life, it's a lesson we have to learn sometime. You stole my breath, changed me in so many ways. Gave me faith, made me believe that there was something here for me.
I'll help her as I have all the others. She's starting to like you again, and I know you'll deny it, but you miss her too. I never stood a chance, I'll just back off.
Things happen in 3's. This is the third time this has happened, so haven't I gotten used to this?
I always paint a smile but it fades with time and has to be painted again. Each one is more fake. People look to me for help, faith, trust. I still don't know why. I'm not superhuman. I'm just like everyone else aren't I?
One little word can totally mess you up...one so simple as 'love'. It's the most painful word I know. I hold my friends close, as family and I always tell them I love them. But I shouldn't because I forgot the true meaning of the word.
I'm happy to watch my friends be happy and in love. I'm the one that is good alone, the one that smile's and laughs through bleeding because they think I can tolerate the pain. They're wrong. I have emotions but I never let them out and when I do I snap.
I'm strong, I can take shit but only so much. Why can't you guys see that? Why are you all so stupid? Why are you so blind? Why don't you realize that when things like this happen that it totally fucks up another person and it causes them to think this way and wounds them a little?
They worry because now the face is faded, they can see it now. Tears lay on my eyes but I won't let them out. If I have to deal with this, then fine. Everyone does. This doesn't single me out as different from everyone else. I'm well aware everyone goes through this but the process is diverse between beings.
I'll hold it back. Watch you smile and move on with my life. Only probably is that it's not that easy to forget.
Swear, this night beat anything I've ever experienced.
The cold crisp air whipped around us as we waited outside the theatre. All around us you could hear the people going nuts about going inside. We had no idea that Lamb of God and Gojira was going to be there. I stood next to Dad-ness and Jared, shaking, not from the cold but from pure excitement.
After going through the guards we were finally in, we were really here! Running up the stairs, the show had already started. Me and Jared were scrambling to get our Metallica shirts on as we passed through the hall-full of people. We jumped escaltor stairs and got to the third level of the arena. We went inside and the stage came to life.
Gojira was going nuts but they weren't loud enough Moments later, they were finished.
"Thank God." Jared and I mused at the same time.
Next up was Lamb of God. They rocked the house down 'quietly' with some favorites, "Walk With Me In Hell", "Black Label", "As The Palaces Burn" and of course... "Redneck (vocals shared with lead singer of Gojira, Joe Duplantier)" and many others. They ended close to an hour later.
Things were starting to get loud as the stage crew came out for sound check. Looking around we noticed 'Death Magnetic' Caskets, HUGE ONES, dangling above the stage. Louder and louder the crowd was starting to go insane, tonight...we would definetely lose our hearing. This being Jared's favorite band, and mine because of my brother, Andrew (R.I.P.) this was truly going to be the biggest night of our lives.
The arena turned black. Lars broke in the bass drums and it sounded like a heartbeat..."it couldn't be...ohhhh fu**, it is Ash, this is it!" - he yelled in my ear.
"Like a siren in my head that always threatens to repeat, Like a blind man that was shoved into the speeding driver's seat, Like a face that learned to speak, when all it knew was how to fight, Like a misery that keeps me from focus, so I've gone astray, Like an illness that I'm about to waken from its state."
The whole night was brought in by all the good ones: Battery, For Whom The Bell Tolls, The Juda's Kiss, Cyanide, Sad But True, Nothing Else Matters (THEY ACTUALLY PLAYED OUR SONG!!!), Turn The Page, Enter Sandman, The Day That Never Comes (ANOTHER "OUR SONG"), Fight Fire With Fire, One (was epic Pyrotechnics) and they played a few others I didn't know...
It was such a privelage to be there. We are dead as doornails because we had to go to school this morning and we're running off of almost no sleep. It was amazing. I have never, ever headbanged that hard. I can't feel my neck , and can barely move. When you get that way, you KNOW beyond the shadow of a doubt you had a really good time. I fell asleep next to him on the way home. We took him to his house and we headed back to town. As soon as I got out of the car, my phone went off.
"Thanks. Goodnight. It was a hell of a night with a hell of a friend"
Never under-estimate the power of metal. It can bring your friends closer than never before and give yall memories that you will NEVER forget.
More than a drug. I feel you all around me. I'm freezing, but I'm warm with the thought of you. Is it not enough? What they say...how they see us... it kills me. I need you. I'll keep quiet. Because you already know.
Maybe one day...I don't know. I can't see the future, I can't read your mind. When everyone else is there, the only thing I can feel, see is you. The pain of everyday life goes away. I love the fact that in a sense I will always have you there.
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crazyfox's blogs, last updated : December 17, 2009
. I swear on my life. 
!
It's unreal.
) were the only ones that knew I was gone at first but things spread fast even in secret. 
swear. 
Moments later, they were finished. 
"Redneck (vocals shared with lead singer of Gojira, Joe Duplantier)" and many others. They ended close to an hour later. 
