I have been into AS year and failed 2/4 courses and scraped through the other two with poor results. This is by my negligence and I fucking hate myself for it.
I fell out with 70% of my friends. Even though I've done the mature thing by trying to fix it, and if been unable to let it go, they still hate me. Most of them have no reason to.
I completely cut the girl I used to love out of my life. And even though I'm happier without that bitch constantly making me feel like shit, it still left a hole.
I can see my current college courses failing because I haven't been doing work because frankly, I just can't be bothered anymore. I have no motivation.
I rarely eat. I don't sleep well. I'm always tired. I can't concentrate. I've lost my passion for guitar. I'm very argumentative. I just hate who I've turned myself into.
And here I am, on Christmas Day. One of the most festive events of the year, crying my eyes out because I have fallen for a girl with commitment issues. I mean that's fine. I mean I can't help that... But once again it's just a roundhouse kick to my non-existant self esteem. Just one time I would like to finally be happy and express who I really am to someone. I have just never felt I've been able to do that until I lost my ex-bestfriend because girls decide that good friends are more important to them than best friends, if the good friend is a girl and the best friend a boy. Y'know, girls > boys and all that bullshit.
Ever since her I have not trusted a single person. I have not let someone see who I really am because I'm too scared that I'd get crushed again.
So here I am UG. Still awake, clutching a bruised and bleeding fist on Christmas Day.
Merry fucking Christmas UG. I hope you'll have a better holiday than me.
Bummer, man. The best thing I can tell you is to take a big step back from everything. Drop all your courses, go on vacation in someplace warm and just relax. Take out a loan if you've got to, just get away.
You'll thank me later.
Merry Christmas, dude. You seem like a nice enough person, and I hope things get better for you.
This is a message straight from a hug thread regular:
*tackles and smothers with loving holiday spirit huggles* Things are bound to get better for you. You seem like an awesome person, you deserve more than what's there.
I've had more or less the same year. You gotta have these shit times to get to the good stuff right? You need a life changing experience. This worked for me. One day just to go a field by yourself just think. Don't leave until you at least break a smile. That sounds stupid but it's what I've always done.
Anyway *hugss* I wish you a year full of happiness
I gave you a kudo becuase you seem very depressed. I know about 3 kids that have gone threw the same thing. after colledge and highschool, there life cameback and they were lots happier.
you need to take a vacation to some place far away from where you live.so you can froget about your problems for a while.
I really feel bad for you though. I hope you get back on your feet A.S.A.P. we all do.
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