so i was at the mall with my friends and i went into claires and guess who i saw ........... haha nobody i knew!!! lol well then i randomly talked to someone and it was funny cause i had a soda and he had the same one and i said nice drink you fucking copy cat!! lol he just looked at me and walked away and as he was walking away he mumbled something jerk! haha im the jerk but it was funny.
last night i was thinking of some one and i know im going to get him soon but i dont care any more time is time and i have to learn to stick to it. sometimes i think what it would be like to have everything in the world but then i think ijust realized i wouldnt be who i am today if i had everything. i dont even want everything. i grew up with pretty much nothing but a good heart and a great self esteem. i think if i had someone in my life i know it sounds cheesey but i think if i accually had the time and the patience to have a relationship for a while i would think more highly of my self.... wow that sounded much better in my head.. wel you get the picture.....i have some thoughts of being a counseler but then again i hate listening to sobb storys but i do have great advise to give. i saved someones life a few weeks ago and it made me feel like it took alot out of me just to do so. the kid i saved was in a different state also. can you imagine how much time and patience i put into that because i had liked him for so long but i would never date or go out with him in my lifetime. it sounds pretty harsh but its true fact. i mean my life isnt compleatly bad but it does have its flaws. i dont get along with half of the people in my life any way because they think im a little goth chick who dosnt believe in what they believe in or i would be yelled at for what i believe in. my parents and my family just dont get me or what i have to say. i think that if i had the time or patience to talk to t hem and hear what they have to say i would think more of myself. or maybe less depends on what they have to say... but when people lecture i get pissed off and frusterated and want to bang their head in the wall because i feel like ive heard it 300 times before. well time is time and you need to deal with it thats it for today if you have a word on that let me know... hva ea great day.
i cant hold on any longer,i might fall into an endless
burning pit of mistakes.why cant i be the same as any other person? why cant i
be free? let me loose in the world, so i can believe. that i am not alone on
this planet. can i do it on my own r am i too stuck up in my own life that i
wont have time to believe? can i bare to even look at myself in the
mirror for all the mistakes that i have made in my life? why am i so
different? i want to be the same.