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Thursday, January 01, 2009

Draft of a story thing

Views: 420
Comments: 9
Hey so here's a rough draft of the first chapter/opening or whatever to the story i'm writing hope you enjoy :D :

Okay here’s the deal my name’s Ikiri, nothing flash nothing fancy just good ol’ plain middle of the road Ikiri. I dunno why I’m doing this venting what I’ve done I suppose this won’t absolve me for what I’ve done but it does help me think. I guess I’ll start from the beginning.
So I’ve had a pretty normal childhood in most respects, my mum was always around but my dad left me when I was 10 months old. Typical thing kids go through like phases and style and obsessions and the never ending list of dumb things you did I went through, ‘cept I’ve been different in some ways. I mean sure all kids are different in some respects like they’re tall, they have a weird hair colour, they’re very bright or whatever but mine was a few degrees to left of that.


You see ever since I was a little kid when it’s been dark or I’ve been covered in shadow and can’t feel or see the sun I’ve been able to have this immense energy that I can draw upon like a never ending well inside of me. I mean the stuff I’ve tried is amazing I can be incredibly fast as in like blink and you’ll miss it, I’ve also managed to lift entire tonnes without breaking a sweat and I can leap immensely high. This may sound pretty cool but I’ve also got a downside as soon as the sun hits me I’m back to my ex-awesome self. Another side effect of this is I sometimes sorta zone out and get weird flashes of images I’ve never seen before, I’ve even blacked out a few times. My friend Akira thinks it’s got to do with all this superstitious crap that float around town as a sort of local legend.


We were in school when she was spouting all this local legend stuff during a free period apparently studying to the teacher nearby but really just talking about the how true these legends were.
“So Ikiri have you even looked up those legends I keep pestering you about?” asked Akira. “Well not really I’ve just really bothered with that stuff, c’mon we gotta study for that test later in psychology”
“Yeah right like you need to study for that” snorted Akira” you’re like one of the smartest 18 year olds around y’know even if pretend not to show it”
“Anyway I was rummaging through the latest edition of  Swansong and this popped up”
She handed me the paper and pointed to a small side column titled Local myths sighted again. Just to give you an overview our town Linden and its surrounding area has its own myth that vampires, yes that’s right vampires, used the site thousands of years ago as ritual area and they continued to remain in the area and sorta merged into the town. Living in the forgotten buildings and woods around town some people still claim that if you see something not quite right out of  the corner of your eye it’s a vampire fleeing your gaze.
“So?” I said “it’s probably just another paranoid old lady that always spouts all this stuff about the legend anyway”
“Maybe, but I thought y’know it might have something to do with you Ikiri” mused Akari “y’know your powers or whatever you want to call them”
“What do you mean?” I asked hoping she wouldn’t keep annoying me about them. Even since she found out about them she keeps having a go at me asking me where they came from, as for me I’m happier not knowing.
“Oh not this again” I groaned
Akira punched me lightly while saying “ I wasn’t going to ask you where you think your powers come from actually, I was just going to tell you that ..” Suddenly the bell rang out for next class.
“Damn we gotta go now or we’ll be late, C’mon Ikiri I’ll tell you after school”
She grabbed her bag, jumped up and ran towards the door leaving me to grab my books and chase after her while wondering what was she going to tell me?

5:38 am - 9 comments - 11 Kudos - Report!
MushroomBomb wrote on May 31st, 2009 2:45pm

Annyoing font, 1/10 :p:

Yeah, but I like it. It'll be interesting to see whether Akira and Ikiri end up hawing hawt sex :D

In all seriousness, it's kewl. Could maybe use a bit re-writing, but that'll pretty much be clear once you've written the draft for the entire story.


entity0009 wrote on May 31st, 2009 2:50pm

Nice stuff :cheers: Are you gonna write more of this? 'Twill keep me occupied in these cold 30 days :D


LilM-experiment wrote on May 31st, 2009 5:39pm

tell me when you write more


steve_muse wrote on May 31st, 2009 5:54pm

Awesome. Tell me when you've continued it.


RSOB Bass wrote on Jun 1st, 2009 9:59am

Impressed Andy. :D


XmydyingheartX wrote on Jun 1st, 2009 4:06pm

Oooooh I like it!

*gives +2 kudos*


Guitar Spider wrote on Jun 5th, 2009 12:36pm

Awesome stuff Andy! Agreeing with MushroomBomb on the bit of re-writing (just proof-reading crap) but looks like the beginnings of a pretty good story my man. *Awaits the next chapter* :)


Zero-Hartman wrote on Jun 6th, 2009 4:45pm

Very nice. Send me the porno manuscript ;)


Zero-Hartman wrote on Jun 6th, 2009 4:46pm

Wow, 2 secodns after sending that message and I fell like a douche, I poslogise!


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