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 Who gave a Kudo :
el-ECTRO (2)
Sum 41 rulez (2)
slash fan #1 (2)
leopardguitarst (2)
HGF (2)
Monday, September 01, 2008

Oh yes!!!!

Views: 312
Comments: 6
The Fog Part 2: Harpoons!!!!! Comment and Enjoy.

So after my near death experience with a killer fog yesterday morning I thought to myself "I need weapons but not just any weapons. Weapons of a Harpoonish nature"

So there I was, on a treck to save humanity and I wondered. Where the Douche am I gonna find some Harpoons. Ofcourse the only possible place would lawrences, you know that place across from the tanyard, s'got a BIG blue sign all the way round the shop, they sell everything from screws to shelves, maybe even dildos but that is not what I am here for.

I went up to the cashier and asked "Do you have any harpoons in stock?"
The reply was a swift "No", it hit me like a kick in the balls. I was annoyed at this for obvious reasons. I shouted at the cashier
"WHY THE FUCK DID YOU KICK ME IN THE BALLS!!!!"
He yells "OH SHIT I'M SO SORRY, I FORGOT HOW POWERFULL MY NO'S ARE." I asked him again, this time I took upon a stance that covered my balls at all angles.
"DO YOU HAVE ANY HARPOONS!"
"I ALREADY TOLD WE DON'T HAVE ANY!!!"
"DO YOU KNOW WHERE I CAN GET SOME!?"
"YEAH NEXT DOOR, WILLIAM'S HARPOON SHOP!!"
"WHY ARE WE STILL SHOUTING!?!?!?"
"I HAVE NO IDEA"

I proceeded to travel next door to "Williams Harpoon Emporium." I walked in and it was like heaven. Harpoons everywhere!!

And then a sight I can only describe as pure beauty caught my eyes

"FOG HARPOONS!!"

Perfect, just what I was looking for!
I picked up 10 harpoons, there was a sale on you see, buy ten for the price of five.
FUCKING 'A'

I went to the counter to buy my precious harpoons and was met with an ugly sight
A chav hitting puberty.
"What do you want ya dirty sketer ghey" He squeaked, his voice cracking every so often.
I bought my harpoons and the dicky chav started to mock my awesome hair
I told him calmly "Do you think it's wise to annoy someone with harpoons?"
Silence.
"Yeah that's what I thought. Come back when your ball's have dropped"
The reply I was given totally blew me away.
"whut!?!?!? I'm a girl"
"HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!"
I got away from the man beast transvestite thing that has no gender as soon as possible and set of home to make a complete inventory of my purchases!

Stay in tune for the next instalment of my Uber epic stories

PS. Yeah I need ideas for future parts so tell me some stuff and i'll put ya in
6:00 pm - 6 comments - 10 Kudos - Report!
Comments
el-ECTRO wrote on Sep 1st, 2008 1:15pm

good, but not as good as the first one :golfclap:

I went to the counter to buy my precious harpoons and was met with an ugly sight
A chav hitting puberty.


i lol'd at that bit :D

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el-ECTRO wrote on Sep 1st, 2008 1:15pm

oops i forgot the kudos.

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Sum 41 rulez wrote on Sep 1st, 2008 1:36pm

Nice story xD

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slash fan #1 wrote on Sep 1st, 2008 1:43pm

AWESOME! More Kudo's for you :D

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leopardguitarst wrote on Sep 1st, 2008 2:54pm

hahahaha omg i almost pisssed myself ... not really but if i had to pee maybe lol

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HGF wrote on Sep 1st, 2008 3:10pm

hahahaha

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