Now that officially playing guitar for one year has made me an official part of the majority of my family that are artists. That being said, it still does not give me the ability to pick the pitches and tones out of music. Which is why I am here. Armed with the ability to read music/tablature, I now must find the rare skill of writing it accuratly. In short: I have absolutly no ear for matching pitches from a speaker to my guitar. In all, I would like to thank you for taking the time to read my first blog post, and hope the Zombie Ninja Mutants don't eat you. PS: all of the time it took you to read that, will never be back Sorry for your inconvenience.
To start this off, I'm broke right now. There, I said it. I am broke, and need a distortin pedal. A DigiTech Grunge Pedal to be exact. I have only one question, and that is "Is a DigiTech Grunge Pedal worth the price? 50$ is out of my range, and I want one really badly. Should I buy it?". That is my queation. Please, if you have any remarks or suggestions, please comment.
To start off, I am extremely bored right now. I have nothing else to do, and that is why I am writing this. Now that thats out of the way, I can get to the non-existent point of my blog. Lazy musicians like myself. Yes, I am a lazy musician, and do not feel like making a band website, or confirming with my band members at that. So, I need to fnd all of my members, whic I really don't want to do, and get them together and jam. It hasn't been very long since I had my last 4-hour jam-session, in fact, it ended a couple of minutes ago. For the record, my fingertips are nearly bleeding, and typing this hurts like a bitch. Now then, to have a band is a huge responsibility, especially when you don't have a band manager, and its your job to start everything. Still trying to get off of the ground, my band, temporarily dubbed "PaWN" is in dire need for a talented bass player. Because all we have is the Apple Loops that came on my computer (don't laugh, thats true). Also, I am rying to brainstorm with my fellow musicians to think of a song that isn't a cover. Nad now to end this, I will make all of you band mambers feel good about yourselves, by saying that PaWN still has no recorded songs, and not many good cavers. There, we suck, and we know this. So whenever you find yourself saying : My band sucks. Just think of PaWN, who is even worse (except if you are from The Used. Because then you do suck.).
So, I'm really pissed off right now, because last time I tried to post this, I accidentally hit the "back" button, and erased the whole thing. Now, with that out of the way, I can get to my point. Looking around the world, and all the things in it, made me realize something. There is a hell of a lot of stupid shit thtat goes on in your daily life. Now with that said, I can go on to tell you at least 50 stupid things that you probably don't noitice. So, I hope you enjoy my list of things that REALLY SHOULDN'T BE DONE. So, whatever you do just don't...........
1-Charge money for shit like Soulja Boy 2-Sell dumb shit like Soulja Boy 3-Sell rap 4-Let people listen to rap 5-Make short-shorts that say "Sexy" in the size XXXXL 6-Let people 100lbs overwieght wear short-shorts that say "sexy" 7-Let fat people order the Supersize at McDonalds 8-Let girls who aren't fat say they are fat. 9-Let said girls complain to their boyfriends about being fat, when they're not 10-Give out those duck-call things you get on the "Philly Duck rides" to small children 11-Let wangsters wear clothing that could house half of ethiopia 12-Make grillz 13-let people war grillz 14-Elect a monkey for president (already been done) 15-Give Dick Cheyney a shotgun 16-Let certain countries that have states that are united play International Police 17-Give Dick Chyney the presidency (bush is just a puppet) 18-Let people go Quail Hunting with Cheyney 19-Ban 4 freakin' ounces of freakin' liquid to take on a plane. (that happened to me, so I took the Mountain Dew, and chugged it untill there were only 4 ounces left. Then I got on the plane) 20-Have those stupid Paid Programming shows on in the morning 21-Give people who pay for satellite the fucking infomercial channel 22-Make reality television 23-Watch said reality TV 24-Have a fucking reality TV channel 25-Give guns to stupid people 26-Make art school so expensive 27-Play commercials on the god damn radio (like you aren't bored enough. YOU ARE LISTENING TO THE FUCKING RADIO) 28-Censor rock songs on the F***ING radio 29-Let Dane cook ba a comedian 30-Make Shooting Under The Influence legal in the south 31-Tell people we are in Iraq to help them, and it has nothing to do with oil 32-Let Mormons try and convert everyone 33-Sell Gucci (or however the hell you spell it) sunglasses/Bags 34-Let guys wear pants that are way too tight 35-Make you pay for commercial-free radio 36-Keep manufacturing Hummers 37-Keep selling Hummers 38-Charge 2 fucking dollars for a good art pencil 39-Put Andy Worhol In the Philly Art Meuseum 40-Encourage the production of bad modern art 41-Replace the word Musslim with the word Terrorist 42-Give idiots the right to express themselves 43-Let teacher assign projects that are due over the weekend 44-Make pot illegal 45-Keep the guy who missed 50 cent nine times alive 46-Give really really old cops, who can barely see, guns 47-Let people buy Chiwawas (or however its spelled) 48-Let white people work at chinese restaurants 49-Keep MTV on the air 50-Put shitty books on the fucking summer reading list
There. That is 50. If you agree with me, please comment. I hope you enjoyed reading this, because I did, up untill about number 30, then I got bored. Untill I get bored out of my mind again.
Yes, this blog is about starving art students. Starving art students, and why they are starving. To start off, let me just say there are three reasons why art students starve themsleves nearly every day. And here they are:
1-Art school is expensive 2-Art supplies are expensive 3-Art students would rather pay for the above, than buy food.
If you are asking "I wonder if that third one is true?", then prepare to be amazed. Yes. It is completely true. Here is how the average art student decides this....
Buy Food, or buy new Brush. God damnit. Lets see, food, brush, food, brush.....food........brush, food, brush................... Ahhh what the hell. NEW BRUSH FOR ME!
Or
Buy food, of pay tuition. Tuition Ok. I'll just use my old brush untill next time I have enough to get a new one.
one week later......
FUCKIN SCORE MANN, playing guitar in the subway helped. NEW BRUSH, HERE I COME.
See, the chioces are simple. And, of course, these stories are at least 90% true, because art supplies and food are about equally priced, mabye food is cheaper, hmmmm whatever. But tuition is always top priority to an art student. Food, not so much. Starving, yes. Wanting to buy food? No. So there you have it. The reasons why art students starve. Untill I get unbearably bored again.
This is so much fun! Try it. You can put random adjectives in front otf the word Schkitzophranic, and make funny results. Here are some examples, with the results....
Schkitzophranic-Talks to back facing cat, cat says Hi Suicidal Schkitzophranic-Talks to back facing cat, cat's head turns 180* and says "Killyourselfkillyourself" with satan's voice.
Schkitzophranic-Walks around apartmant talking to imaginary friends High Schkitzophranic-Screams and jumps out window, because imaginary friends turned into monsters.
Schkitzophranic-Wants some gloves for his cold imaginary friend Retarded Schkitzophranic-Wants an anal probe to test his imaginary friend for fleas.
See, its fun! Try it. Untill I get mind-numbingly bored again.
To begin, I have recently noticed that the band "The Offspring" writes some existntialist lyrics. For Example: "Have you ever felt like there was more, like someone else was keepin' score? And what would make you whole was simply out of reach..." Completely exsitenialist. but stil good. So this got me thinking. Have you ever? And this applies to everthing. To the point, I can't think of a time where you are in control. Hence the Offspring lyrics. Control, a joke in itself. Why? you ask? Because the horrible creature known as a Human is greedy, rude, and filthy. Not seen by the normal eye, but yes, humans ruined the earth. Take global warming for example. Yeah I know that it is the natural way of the earth because we are coming out of an Ice Age, but we are still speeding up the process. In turn, humans are inferior to other species. Why, because no other species is its own natural predetor.Untill I am suicidally bored again.
Hooray!! It is time for me to post yet another blog. Whoop Dee fuckin' Doo. My day has been so boring that I have been here all freakin' day. I barely ate breakfast, and I am hungry as shit. Which brings me to Tonights Topic: Similies using the word "Shit" . People say "Hey man, you're cool as shit." I say, "Well Fuck You". Rude? No. Not by a longshot. They just put me in the same cayegory of said coolness as Shit. I, myself, take that as an insult. Yes, I do use the expression "Hungry as Shit", and do know that it is completely illogical. Shit is not hungry. Here is anohther, "That movie was scary as shit!!". You're cool now. You just admitted that you were physically frightened of feces. Thats pretty fuckin' pathetic. "Nice as shit" is another one of my favorites. "That guitar is nice as shit" they say. I respond with " Well your guitar sounds like a Spider Monkey being raped by a Moose". Rude? No. Over The Edge? Hell Yes. Its things like this, and people who say them without knowing what they mean. BAM!!<><><><>ooouuouaooauu oau ooooooooaooauuaoau. BAM!!><><><>Ow! That fire is cold. Unitl I could kill myself with a spoon from bordom.
So, Its January again, and that means I'm really depressed, and here's why: (this story is completely and totally true) This girl that went to middle school w/ me, she was beutiful. Light brown, curley, long hair. Tall enough, beutiful face and figure. Plus she didn't deny me when I asked her out (don't fell happy for me, just keep reading). Well we were going out for about a month. Every day in that month was in a warm, nice, and a smooth breeze. Great skating weather. So I was out skating w/ my friend Rob, waiting to see Lauren (girl previously mentioned) and Tara (Rob's then gf) so we can all go to the park. I see them, and we get going to Park Square (Main Hangout Place Of Prospect park). And after we were there for about an hour, it started to rain. In the next five minutes, I see that Lauren looks kind of worried, nervous, anxious, so I ask whats wrong. She says nothing, and we sit together for another 5 mins. Then, out of the blue, she says " Spenser, I don't think we can go out any more." In my head=AW MOTHER FUCKIN SHIT!! WHAT THE HELL DID I DO WRONG THIS TIME??? On the outside=**oh, ok** <looks depressed>. And bam. Relationship over. The rain starts pouring down like it is making up or all the days the rain wasn't there. I'm broken, and I get up and walk slowly away. Back at the bank (where I was previously skating; a block away from the park), I just hurl my board across the parking lot and scream (think of Atreyu's song "Demonology And Heartache" when he screams "Love kills, romance is dead...." Take tht scream, make it louder, and multiply the anger by about 100). I know she can't hear me, she can't see me, and I don't care. The rain is still pouring down on me, washing away everything we had. I'm soaked, depressed, and angry. So, I start punching the brick wall until my knuckles bleed all over the bank wall. Rob just leaves me to be, and I walk home with my board, and nearly broken hand. There was a trail of blood leading to my house (more like red water, remember: Its raining), and my hand is bleeding all over me. I came into school the next day with like 4 gauze pads on my hand. Nobody talked to me that day, and lauren looked like nothing had happened. The worst part is, in that month, she became friends with all of my friends, so everywhere I went, there she was. She was in my class, she was with my friends, and she was in my goddamn head. Its been a full fucking year, and I still haven't gotten over her. Now, in 9th grade, sher still creeps into my head, and dropps little reels of tape, to remind me I'm alone. There are two reasons, that I know of, why she dropped me:
1-Her parents wouldn't let her date until she was 16 2-I wasn't a great boyfriend...
*That entire story is Completely true. I would remember something like that. I can't say that I'm bored right now, but I will say that I am depressed enough to border almost-suicide. Till the next...
Your existentialist friend-Zombie Spawn. **there isn' a suicidal smiley, so i can't express myself properly.
SEE MY PICTURES FOR A PICTURE OF ME AND LAUREN *BEFORE THIS HAPPENED*
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Zombie spawn's blogs, last updated : November 8, 2008
