So, Its January again, and that means I'm really depressed, and here's why: (this story is completely and totally true) This girl that went to middle school w/ me, she was beutiful. Light brown, curley, long hair. Tall enough, beutiful face and figure. Plus she didn't deny me when I asked her out (don't fell happy for me, just keep reading). Well we were going out for about a month. Every day in that month was in a warm, nice, and a smooth breeze. Great skating weather. So I was out skating w/ my friend Rob, waiting to see Lauren (girl previously mentioned) and Tara (Rob's then gf) so we can all go to the park. I see them, and we get going to Park Square (Main Hangout Place Of Prospect park). And after we were there for about an hour, it started to rain. In the next five minutes, I see that Lauren looks kind of worried, nervous, anxious, so I ask whats wrong. She says nothing, and we sit together for another 5 mins. Then, out of the blue, she says " Spenser, I don't think we can go out any more." In my head=AW MOTHER FUCKIN SHIT!! WHAT THE HELL DID I DO WRONG THIS TIME??? On the outside=**oh, ok** <looks depressed>. And bam. Relationship over. The rain starts pouring down like it is making up or all the days the rain wasn't there. I'm broken, and I get up and walk slowly away. Back at the bank (where I was previously skating; a block away from the park), I just hurl my board across the parking lot and scream (think of Atreyu's song "Demonology And Heartache" when he screams "Love kills, romance is dead...." Take tht scream, make it louder, and multiply the anger by about 100). I know she can't hear me, she can't see me, and I don't care. The rain is still pouring down on me, washing away everything we had. I'm soaked, depressed, and angry. So, I start punching the brick wall until my knuckles bleed all over the bank wall. Rob just leaves me to be, and I walk home with my board, and nearly broken hand. There was a trail of blood leading to my house (more like red water, remember: Its raining), and my hand is bleeding all over me. I came into school the next day with like 4 gauze pads on my hand. Nobody talked to me that day, and lauren looked like nothing had happened. The worst part is, in that month, she became friends with all of my friends, so everywhere I went, there she was. She was in my class, she was with my friends, and she was in my goddamn head. Its been a full fucking year, and I still haven't gotten over her. Now, in 9th grade, sher still creeps into my head, and dropps little reels of tape, to remind me I'm alone. There are two reasons, that I know of, why she dropped me:
1-Her parents wouldn't let her date until she was 16 2-I wasn't a great boyfriend...
*That entire story is Completely true. I would remember something like that. I can't say that I'm bored right now, but I will say that I am depressed enough to border almost-suicide. Till the next...
Your existentialist friend-Zombie Spawn. **there isn' a suicidal smiley, so i can't express myself properly.
SEE MY PICTURES FOR A PICTURE OF ME AND LAUREN *BEFORE THIS HAPPENED*
WOW! This will sound kind of mean but hey man, you can't be whining over a girl. My best friend who I grew up with, I started dating her. We got even closer, and then she ODed and died. Always look on the bright side of things man. And trust me, you are still very young, you still have a long way to go, so Cheer up
Yeah it sure is hard to get a girl out of your head man - in a way you never really totally forget about them, I know what you're on about unfortuantely But you just gotta do the things that make you feel good about yourself and look forward to the days where life seems worth living, when you can totally forget for a while and just enjoy life
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Once a year to be depressed... blog
But you just gotta do the things that make you feel good about yourself and look forward to the days where life seems worth living, when you can totally forget for a while and just enjoy life