Right... So I've been sitting at my computer for over 8 hours now. And 'the feeliing' overcame me at about 5:00am GMT. You know, the one which makes you feel so shit and insignificant in this world. The one which makes you want to do nothing but sit down and wallow in a cess pool of self hatred while the rest of the world watches you drown, pointing and laughing So it happens, I was (and still am) talking to the one person that has been through something similar, and come out the other side. I asked him for some advice on motivation. As it is, I'm an 18 year old who aspires to go to university, but hasn't got round to filling out the application form. I'm the 18 year old who aimed to get a job during the 'gap year' to save up money for said university. I haven't been able to get a job anywhere. I'm the 18 year old who doesn't do anything particularly well... or particularly frequently... The song that is playing on my media player is 'Blackbird' by Alter Bridge. This person is the one person who has changed my alter ego from me, to something quite apart from me.
What's the first thing....
...You think of
When thinking about something you probably SHOULD be doing?
...I'll do it in an hour...
The cycle of procrastination goes on. So don't think about it! Don't sit and ponder about what you should be doing.
There are no questions, other than "Will it help me if I do this?" - You can formulate your C.O.A from this one answer.
The mind isn't this complex little pussy ass thing psychologists make it out to
be; it's a powerful outcome of the most powerful processing system in the known
universe; it tells you the facts about what's happening right now
You'll think your betrayed, astray
I'll leave you ripped and torn so bad you
can't trust can't love
can't understand why life's so fucked
I'm deep inside your mind
in constant remind
if you leave your thoughts to me. Believe
I'll make sure that I see
You world comes crashing around you
smashing around you
when will you see that you cannot hide from me ?
I'll make your world come crashing around you
smashing around you
I'll let you see why you cannot hide from me
because I am you
I can hear you... I'm onto you... I'm coming to get you... You ain't me. You're not me. You don't control me. I control you.
It's long time since I started living life as me. Not what I think is me. DEFEAT YOUR EGO
LET THE WIND CARRY YOU HOME, BLACKBIRD, FLY AWAY, MAY YOU NEVER... BE BROKEN... AGAIN.
"One thing I've learned in the last seven years: in every game and con there's always an opponent, and there's always a victim. The trick is to know when you're the latter, so you can become the former. "