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Friday, March 20, 2009

Her Worst Nightmare

Current mood: accomplished

Views: 529
Comments: 22
Gothic short story written (with the help of xcynicx) for english class. Enjoy :cheers:

It was a dark and stormy night when the Countess woke to a scratching upon her window.  She buttoned her night dress and walked the length of the room, the chill from the cold, flagstone floor rising through her, to investigate the noise.  She opened the rain specked window that overlooked the usually beautiful courtyard of her castle, only to find nothing.  She shuddered and, unable to get back to sleep, lit a candle which cast an eerie glow upon the room.

She sat upright in bed, scanning the room slowly. Just then, she was startled by a shadow flying across the walls, and only a second later a tall figure standing at the foot of her bed. She gasped for breath and reached for the candle which shed light upon the man's face and his deepset, onyx colored eyes.  He moved towards her smoothly yet menacingly and in the blink of an eye he held her wrist in his hand, the candelight showing the deep wrinkles of his ghastly face. She tried wrestling away from his grip, but his grasp was tight and she was unable to free herself.

He pulled her from bed to the window and dangled her out in the rain soaked blackness. The man loosed his grip on her slightly as her screams ripped through the night. As lightning flashed behind her the cloaked figure dropped her to the courtyard.

She awoke with a start, heart pounding, eyes furtively searching the room for the dark figure who just seconds ago held her out in the night. Moments later a young man of 20 entered her room and, pulling her close, quieted her screams of anguish. The Countess, having calmed down, looked into the eyes of the young man. She backed away, realizing they were the same eyes as the figure from her nightmare. She took this as a sign from a higher power to stay with him, and that her previous plan to leave in the night was not a wise one.

The nightmares became a regular occurence for her, waking from them nightly and looking down upon her husband's face, watching it age over the years into the ghastly face she saw in her visions. His heart became cold. As the chill in his heart turned to violence, she began to fear him.

One night she awoke as usual to find her husband, not in bed, but standing over her. She screamed as he pulled her from bed to the window where rain fell steadily yet roughly on the glass. He opened the window and held her out as lightning streaked across the sky, illuminating his face. She shrieked at the sight of the face from her nightmares. Moments later the echoes of her screams died out as a loud thud was heard and birds flew up into the night, her body lying motionless on the ground below.
6:32 pm - 22 comments - 22 Kudos - Report!
Comments
//_O wrote on Mar 20th, 2009 9:55pm

wow :]
great story, it was.

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the gift wrote on Mar 20th, 2009 11:25pm

hey, good story! I like the way you write! :)

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RhyseOrtiz wrote on Mar 21st, 2009 12:07am

Brilliant. Great job Andy.

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coryklok wrote on Mar 21st, 2009 12:27am

>9000/10
:)

Great story! :hug:

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entity0009 wrote on Mar 21st, 2009 12:30am

Nice job, enthralling :)

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MushroomBomb wrote on Mar 21st, 2009 12:54am

Reminds me of Sin City ;) (That's a good thing)

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gitarfrek wrote on Mar 21st, 2009 12:56am

Well written. I liked it. A tad bit frightening though. You've got a very good writting style and you really know how to paint a picture. I usually get too involved with the story its self to think about details so my stories fail.

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Emo Cookie wrote on Mar 22nd, 2009 5:46pm

Wow, wish I could think of somethin' like that to write about. But i really like it. Great job!

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kasioke wrote on Mar 25th, 2009 12:11am

good job dont rllly like this part
He moved towards her smoothly yet menacingly
i would right it like this
he moved towards her with a light gliding step as if floating and yet the movement was menacing in its smoothness

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kasioke wrote on Mar 25th, 2009 12:14am

but still great job dude

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Xunluckyx13a wrote on Mar 25th, 2009 12:26am

kasioke wrote on Mar 24th, 2009 at 6:11pm :


good job dont rllly like this part
He moved towards her smoothly yet menacingly
i would right it like this
he moved towards her with a light gliding step as if floating and yet the movement was menacing in its smoothness

Too wordy. :p:

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SomebodySomeone wrote on Mar 29th, 2009 3:00am

cool story bro.

>.>

but seriously, it was very well written for being a short story :cheers:

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BlackandSilver wrote on Mar 31st, 2009 1:33am

Sweet

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mustangrobert13 wrote on Mar 31st, 2009 1:35am

Awesome! I'm not the greatest writer so I don't really have any criticism. It's not really my style of literature, but I like it. :)

I might just have to submit it to the Community Page? ;)

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xcynicx wrote on Mar 31st, 2009 2:20am

We are the awesomest.
XD
I still maintain we should have gone with our original idea ;).
I swear, the teacher would have loved it.

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salmon philippe wrote on Apr 20th, 2009 6:32am

Yes I love it though I am not your teacher, and after that ?
Will they have children ?

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dRockstar24 wrote on Apr 20th, 2009 10:43am

Publish It!

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Xunluckyx13a wrote on Apr 20th, 2009 8:25pm

It'd be hard for them to have children if she is dead...?

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$BIGBOY$ wrote on Apr 21st, 2009 3:29am

Good story!!

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Psyxh wrote on Apr 23rd, 2009 4:48am

Very Very Good...Its Sounds Like Artwork

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SixStringFail wrote on Apr 23rd, 2009 4:56pm

brilliant man. really painted a picture in my head

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simple_guitar wrote on Apr 24th, 2009 6:14am

Oh my god. I just watched Sweeney Todd: The devil barber of Fleet Street with Johnny Depp and Helena Bohnam Carter (She always plays freaky roles) in the dark, at eleven thirty pm and after I was just a bit disgusted and numb, so I tried to browse UG to remove that bloody and sadist image of my head (before going to bed) and then I found your story! God, I'm gonna do such nightmares! Even worst of her! That means it's a good story. Good job, guy.

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