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Thursday, June 14, 2012

Gone on vacation

I'll be gone to Italy from June 25th to July 10th.

You all deserve a break.



2:36 am - 0 comments - 0 Kudos
Friday, May 11, 2012

List of bands with _____ in their names

Got bored. Decided to amuse myself by trying to find out how many artists I could think of that fit in a single category.

ARTISTS WITH ANIMALS IN THEIR NAME (the word "animal" doesn't count):

Def Leppard, Blue Oyster Cult, Iron Butterfly, Whitesnake, White Lion, Jackyl, The Eagles, Seal,
Faster Pussycat, The Byrds, Dragonforce, Reel Big Fish, Ratt, Steel Panther, The Pussycat Dolls, The Yardbirds, The Beatles, The Spiders from Mars, The Eagles of Death Metal, Robin Trower, Phish, Fleet Foxes, Great White, Slash's Snakepit, Snoop Dogg, Lamb of God, Cat Stevens, Chickenfoot, W.A.S.P., The Bee Gees, T-Rex, Pantera, Britny Fox, Steppenwolf, Warrant

ARTISTS WITH FOOD ITEMS IN THEIR NAME:

T-Bone Walker,
Korn, Cream, Humble Pie, Meat Loaf, Reel Big Fish, Ram Jam, Sweet, Phish

ARTISTS WITH NON-ALPHABETICAL CHARACTERS EXCLUDING HYPHENS IN THEIR NAME:

blink 182, Sum 41, Panic! At the Disco, Mr. Bungle,
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, Mr. Big

ARTISTS WITH ACCENTS/UMLAUTS IN THEIR NAME:


Motley Crue, Motorhead, Blue Oyster Cult, Spinal Tap

ARTISTS NAMED AFTER HISTORICAL FIGURES:

Lizzy Borden, Pink Floyd, Jethro Tull, Alice Cooper, Tesla, Molly Hatchet, The Presidents of the United States of America

ARTISTS WITH COLORS IN THEIR NAME:

Black Sabbath, Black Label Society, The Black Keys, The Black Crowes, Black Flag, White Lion, Whitesnake, Deep Purple, Pink Floyd, Pink, Blue Oyster Cult, Blue Murder, Blues Brothers, Yellowcard, Aqua


ARTISTS NAMED AFTER BIBLICAL BOOKS:

Genesis, Exodus

BANDS NAMED AFTER ONE OR MORE OF THEIR MEMBERS (NO SOLO ACTS):

Dio, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, Emerson, Lake and Palmer, Sixx:AM, Page and Plant, Coverdale and Page, Montrose, ABBA, Winger, Slash's Snakepit, Adler's Appetite/Adler, Bachman-Turner Overdrive, The Jimi Hendrix Experience, Bon Jovi, Yngwie Malmsteen's Rising Force, Blackmore's Night, Van Halen

ARTISTS WITH ELEMENTS/COMPOUNDS/ALLOYS IN THEIR NAME:

Steel Panther, Iron Butterfly, Led Zeppelin

ARTISTS WHOSE NAMES ARE OFTEN SHORTENED TO AN ACRONYM:

Electric Light Orchestra (ELO), Guns 'N' Roses (GnR), Bachman-Turner Overdrive (BTO), Creedance-Clearwater Revival (CCR)

ARTISTS NAMED AFTER IDIOMS OR EXPRESSIONS:

Dire Straits, The Rolling Stones

ARTISTS WHOSE NAMES START WITH "THE":

Beatles, Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix Experience, Who, Animals, Sweet, Yardbirds, Black Keys, Flaming Lips, Spiders From Mars, Byrds, Pussycat Dolls, Stooges, Black Crowes, Bee Gees

__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ______________________________

To be updated in the future. Maybe.
4:05 am - 1 comments - 0 Kudos
Tuesday, May 01, 2012

Astronomy-related Fat Mama jokes.

Current mood: giggly

I just found this old compilation of fat mama jokes I came up with a couple years back on my Facebook, and so I thought UG would be at most mildly amused by them.

Ironically, a couple of them took me a while to re-"get" when I reread them.



************************************************** ********


Yo mama's so fat, she often impersonates Saturn by wearing a tutu.

 

Yo mama's so fat, her pants' length is measured in light-years.

 

Yo mama's so fat, she is as geographically useful to to the inhabitants of Gliese as Polaris is to us.

 

Yo mama's so fat, the escape velocity at her surface exceeds 3x10^8 m/s.


Yo mama's so fat, she is as dense as a neutron star. (or black hole, for better effect)

 

Yo mama's so fat that if she stood up and looked down at the Earth, she'd be watching Jurassic Park (live?).

 

Yo mama's so fat, she could very well be the dark hole at the center of our galaxy.

 

Yo mama's so fat, her heart's a pulsar.


Yo mama's so fat, she uses the Earth as her personal globe when taking a geography class.

 

Yo mama's so fat, she's good friends with Xenu.


Yo mama's so fat, she made love to the sun and gave birth to nonuplets (nine-tuplets). Considering this was too much for her to handle, she eventually had to estrange the smallest of her children.

 

Yo mama's so fat, she has a mass whether or not the Higgs-Boson exists.

 

Yo mama's so fat, NASA have launched satellites to orbit her.

 

Yo mama's so fat, dark holes are her personal toilets.

 

Yo mama's so fat, that when at her perigee, we can see her skin cells reproduce.

 

Yo mama's so fat, she farted on Jupiter and created the Great Red Spot.

 

Yo mama's so fat, she has such mass as to completely bend space-time around herself, such that even light could not escape. (Yet another black hole joke. You may make your own whore references if you like)

 

Yo mama's so fat, astronomers use her for gravitational microlensing.

 

Yo mama's so fat, she'd be considered a magnetar if she clapped. That is why, for our sake, she must never be amused by anything. Or have a space mosquito/shuttle bother her.

 

Yo mama's so fat that the only plausible explanation as to how she achieves such great size is due to the fact that she travels so close to light speed.

 

---------------Non-fat/non-astronomy jokes---------------

 

Yo mama's so slow that her De Broglie wavelength is observable on macroscopic scales.

 

Yo mama's so old that we can see her in the photographs taken by the Hubble Space Telescope; she's way in the back of all of the other celestial objects and is bright red.


Yo mama's so easy that in the many worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics, I've slept with her in every universe.

 

Yo mama's so cold, she hit absolute zero. (which happens to be impossible)

 

Yo mama's is so obviously visible, nobody knows her momentum.

 

01011001 01101111 00100000 01101101 01100001 01101101 01100001 00100111 01110011 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01110011 01110100 01110101 01110000 01101001 01100100 00101100 00100000 01110011 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101110 00100111 01110100 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01100100 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00101110

 

Yo mama's so fat, she collapsed the wave function by sitting on it.

 

Your mother is so corpulent, people construct marginally humorous jokes about her.

4:19 am - 3 comments - 2 Kudos
Sunday, April 01, 2012

Oops. Banned. (Updated April 3rd and 4th)

Yup. Social experiment over. I'm actually banned now. This isn't an April Fools joke.

Contrary to apparent popular belief, I wasn't banned for the whole "Banned." user title experiment. In reality, the ban was warranted by something far more idiotic and easily avoidable.

I suggested in a thread regarding April Fools jokes made by other websites (i.e. Google) that one should go check out a certain shock site involving naked, saggy septuagenarians to go see their "hilarious" April Fools prank and I forgot that it counted as telling users how to find porn. Unfortunately, despite editing my post, I was banned by JackalUK. He probably saw the unaltered post before refreshing the page and inevitably brought the wrath of his banhammer down onto my ban-nail head.

Well. I'll be back in the Pit in a month from now. Until then, I can concentrate on more important work. I actually was thinking about requesting a ban recently for this reason. Despite this, I'd still be glad to have an early unban, because to be frank, I'm always reading and rereading the rules to remember what's okay and what is nay, and I still can't believe that I was banned for, I repeat, an action this idiotic and easily avoidable.

Moral of the story kids? I'm an idiot that made a really dumb yet catastrophic mistake. That, and that you should always think about what you're gonna say very carefully before actually going ahead and saying it, 'cause ya might end up dragging a tin cup across them metal bars like good ol' uncle Wolfie, ya hear? (cue sweet-ass blues guitar solo)

I'm still lurking as an unregistered user on the Pit just to get with the times, that way when I make a comeback, I'll know what's been going on. Also I'll be UG's perverted voyeur for that period. Ladies?



UPDATE 4/3/2012 - Damn, the mods don't check the FotB very often :(

That makes me a sad little ban-nail.
6:51 pm - 6 comments - 0 Kudos
Wednesday, November 16, 2011

People I've sigged.

Title is self-explanatory. I've decided to keep track of everybody awesome enough to have been sigged by me in the past. If I've forgotten anybody, do tell me :D

In possibly chronological order, starting with older quotes I can't remember the exact words to:

Necrosis1193:
(He said that he loves me. Most probably in a platonic, non-gay way. I remember he replied to me when I said I preferred clean, great singers that can wail high notes or that can croon like Sinatra over growly vocalists that "require talent". Since talent =/= taste, that argument is invalid in any debate. For example, it takes talent to stick a working power drill down your urethra without passing out)

Andrea55:
(I "made her LOL")

Davrockist:
(Something about me being a "winosaurus".)


----------------------

These are quotes I know the exact words to, because they've been in my sig since this blog was created:

JustRooster:
Stop that. We're trying to have an uneducated conversation here.

T00DEEPBLUE:
You're insanely sexy. No joke.

LZRocker:
Holy shiy I love you man

WCPhils:
@ Wolfinator

WCPhils:
:golfclap:

 :haha:  :haha:  :haha:

lushacrous:
Well done sir. Well done. :golfclap:

MrDo0m:
Wolfinator has got to be one of the funniest people on this site, I swear.

EpiExplorer:
My pants require your presence.

TheNameOfNoone:
You, sir, made my fucking life  :haha:


------------------------

To be updated in the future :)
1:12 am - 0 comments - 0 Kudos
Friday, September 02, 2011

Whatever you do, DO NOT click this.

Current mood: accomplished

Well, at least now I know that reverse psychology works.



Also, I bet some of you expected something like this.



You are also smiling at the fact that I knew this.



And some of you are currently partially naked.



And none of you reading at the moment are Bootsy Collins.
9:45 pm - 10 comments - 2 Kudos
Saturday, February 26, 2011

Guess What?

This is a blog.

THE MORE YOU KNOW.
4:49 am - 2 comments - 3 Kudos