This is mainly for people who actually know me, and on UG, there are only two people who do - one has moved to a boarding school, and the other won't add me because of Horsedick.MPEG posting on my profile.
Even though I have said that I despise keyboard and piano players, I do dabble a bit on the keyboard. It’s acceptable because I can already play a real instrument.
Vengeance is my favourite theme. It’s quite interesting to me. Can revenge really satisfy someone, or will he still be in pain from the original injury? Some people may have noticed a trend when I said that I like Timothy Dalton and Daniel Craig’s Bond films and God of War.
I occasionally paint models. It’s calming and relaxing and I love attention to detail.
I have to be clean. Hygiene is important to me. I also spend more time washing my hands than pissing! I just can’t standhow germs travel – from a dirty football, to a hand rail, to hands, to food and then in someone’s mouth.
I truly do enjoy laughing at other peoples’ misfortunes. C’mon, it’s hilarious because it’s not happening to me!
Sunshine and raining at the same time is my favourite weather. How often do you get to see the two together?
I’m not actually moody all the time - I just have lines under my eyes and lazy eyebrows.
A composer sounds like a decent job for me. I can do it well, at least according to my grades in music class and my ear! I enjoy listening to film music too, so composing for films and video games sounds good for me.
A realistic alternative would be a session guitarist. I don’t mind playing guitar for stars I detest as long I get decent money for it. Ideally, I would like to be a lead guitarist in a modern thrash metal band, but putting a band together is harder than it seems.
If all else fails, I will become a music teacher.
Playing with other musicians is something I love, even if I’m playing jazz with some noob who can only play three chords.
I don’t argue with people to annoy them, I simply like a good argument. Wouldn’t it just be boring if everyone just followed what one person said?
Pachelbel’s Canon is my favourite piece of romantic music, Mozart’s 40th symphony is my favourite piece of classical music and Moonlight Sonata is the greatest late classical/early romantic piece. I should probably mention that Toccata and Fugue by J.S Bach is the greatest baroque piece in my opinion. If you’re reading this, you probably know my favourite bands.
I don’t like violent games just for the gore. It’s a great way to vent out some stress or anger. The feeling of gouging out Poseidon’s eyes in God of War III is unmatched.
Nothing can cheer me up more than old Simpsons episodes.
Richard III is now one of my role models. While killing family and children don’t appeal to me, his use of his wit and intelligence to get what he wants is simply brilliant.
I never speak about what I’m feeling, unless it’s something trivial or unless I’m really aggravated. I just think it’s selfish to dump your problems on someone else. Why would they want to worry about your problems? Surely, it is better to learn to deal with your problems yourself, unless you really need help?
From tonality to rhythm to heavy guitar cases! I just need to vent out some anger.
1. The scale of C major. Overused and I like flats or sharps.
2. The overuse of major keys. What happened to minor keys?!
3. Lack of modal music. It sounds...interesting because it's different to the modern major/minor system!
4. How modes are taught terribly. They are NOT “just the white notes” on a keyboard and they are not new scales!
5. Crap acoustics, especially in the music rooms at my school. It will make your instrument sonically vomit all over your ears.
6. The overuse of pianos in music lessons. The timbre is starting to annoy me.
7. Harmonising in thirds AND sixths. What’s wrong with just thirds? Sixth intervals are too spacious!
8. That guy from the Beatles strumming Emaj god-knows-how-many times in quavers in 4/4 without any rhythm or pitch variations. At least invert the damned chord!
9. The overuse of powerchords in rock and metal. Sometimes, a section with some lovely diatonic third dyads would be nice. Harmonic movement for the win!
10. Eighties guitarists overusing the vibrato bar.
11. It is NOT a tremolo bar, it is a VIBRATO BAR!
12. The word “rhythm”. I still have trouble spelling it!
13. The melodic minor scale is a bitch. So you want to change your mind on the way back?
14. MIDI sounds. My ears die when I hear MIDI. Horrid sound quality.
15. Crap recording equipment. I would not like to have my ears burst after playback, thank you very much.
16. The “ear rape” section in Fur Elise. What was Beethoven thinking?!
17. Noob versions of Pachelbel’s Canon that have been transposed from D to C. It’s only two sharps!
18. Accidentals…so out of place. Maybe I’m just a bit OCDish?
19. Monophonic textures. BORING! You can’t think of another instrument.
20. Casual music noobs who can only play three guitar chords.
21. Casual music noobs who don’t learn theory.
22. Those who take the “theory is useless” approach. Have fun finding a key to start with!
23. Dissonance. It sounds horrible.
24. The focus on vocals in pop music, as if all the other instruments are not important enough.
25. Ridiculous amount of autotune in modern pop music.
26. How people go for having many ideas in a composition. Just change the idea you already have!
27. Noobs who cannot use their little finger while playing the guitar.
28. Ab or G#. I always felt that it’s the stupid note of the scale.
29. Ridiculous drop tuning. Anything below drop-D is just stupid. The timbre is horrible and no one wants to set up a guitar for that.
30. Bad guitar lessons. I saw a guy who posted a lesson, wondered why there was no sound and then realised that his amp wasn’t on.
31. Heavy guitar cases. Why did I buy one?!
32. Piano or guitar players who only know shapes, and don’t know where the notes are. NOOBS!
33. Seventh chords, especially dominant sevenths and diminished sevenths.
34. Acoustic fags who play the same 3 chords, without even thinking about inversions or changing the root note.
35. Pop bands trying to be metal. You may have crushing distortion, but your voices make you sound like twats. POSEURS!
36. Diminished and augmented triads. They sound so…wrong.
37. The noob who thinks the key of a piece is determined by the melody, as opposed to the chords.
38. Lyrics. Really, who cares? The music is where it is at!
39. Noobs who have to stay inside of the stave.
40. Computer generated music. Your synth sounds disgusting, and so does that atrocious thing you call a drum beat.
41. Noobs who always write in 4/4 with an accent on every beat. So clichéd.
42. Noobs who can’t change chord voicings while composing. Just change the note order - it’s not rocket science!
43. Guitar Hero. It will make you suck at real guitar if you play it for too long.
44. Tuning from E stanard to Eb. Such as small pitch difference, but so much effort and frustration.
45. Ternary form noobs. Scared to throw in another idea?
46. Those who treat music as a competition. You can sweep at 2847494 beats per minute? It will probably sound sloppy anyway.
47. Major seconds, unless they are not played as a chord or unless they are not part of a sus2 or sus4 chord. Minor seconds suck too. Horrible, horrible dissonance!
48. “Plus ones”. The sections in my compositions MUST have an even number of bars!
49. Triplet quavers and normal quavers…in the same composition. It just ruins the feel and destroys the pace!
50. Interrupted cadences.