The_Paranoia

A Traitor to One’s Self

As I sit vacant inside my steal cage I can’t help but wonder, “What is out there?” They keep me locked in here for most of the day, with the only release I get being to walk in circles around the armed walking area which is located inside a private room off the East Wing of the Detention Hall, without any news from beyond the four shiny steel walls. The only thing I have to look at is a face reflecting off the polished cage sides. A dark face it is. It has black hair down covering most of the face and eyes, which are of a light green color.

            “Who is this man?” I ask myself daily. I sit on the floor, which is polished just as the walls are, and stare at this man for hours. “Who is he?” The man scares me sometimes. He stares back at me with those eyes. The light green eyes glare back at me with a look that enters you and attempts to erase everything you once thought. I don’t like the man. He’s always watching. You can’t catch him off guard. He moves with you.

            You can’t destroy him, I have tried. I clawed at the cage’s walls. I clawed with my nails until they fell onto the polished floor. I used the blood to cover his face. I covered it until his green eyes became as red as the devil. Until his black hair became a red sunrise. And when I turned around to scream in a victory, he was there again, with his green eyes and black hair. Screaming just as I do in victory over what I believed was my victory.

            Then the pain came again, up from the polished floor under my feet. It made my body numb and I couldn’t stand any longer. I fell to the floor and managed to keep my eyes open long enough to see the brown boots enter the door to drag me away.

            When I awoke I was in the cage again sitting against the wall. I was awake, but would not open my eyes. I kept them shut for hours. For I knew, that once they were opened he would be there watching me. So I kept them closed. When the men in the brown boots delivered my food, I ate in the dark. I only opened them for my daily walk in the private room. The private room’s walls were not polished like the walls and ceiling of my cage. They were made of a beautiful wood. Like the bark on the trees from the forest I saw before they brought me into the building.

            The forest was beautiful from what I can remember. The trees towered above the shacks my family and I lived in for my entire life. Their green leaves reflected the sun and lit the forest in a light. I could see a bird fly from one tree to the other. But at the end I could see men in brown boots holding a mechanic device that made one of the trees fall over. They cut the live of the tree abrupt and cut down its beauty. I asked the man in the brown boots next to me why they would cut down a tree like that. He sat in silence.

            Where I am from, you are lucky if you see a whole tree trunk. Trees with actual green and life were always rumors passed from town to town. No one believed that there was any life left in the country. We weren’t even sure that there was life in the people once the Federation came in and took control. We lived like that for years, hiding inside our homes watching the bombs fall, and anyone who tried to stop the bombs. 

            I was part of an uprising. We were the first attempt to put an end to the control of the Federation. It was 400 untrained, poorly equipped men against an entire army. However we had what they lacked. A sense of Nationalism. So we fought. And we won for a while. Or at least we thought we did. We managed to fight them back to the outskirts of D.C. where they jumped us in the night. I managed to get away for a few days but they found me hidden along the river. I was sent into the camp where we started this story.

            I was kept in a normal cell at first. They would come and bring me into a room similar to my cage, only it was bigger. He was there with me like he is now. Only he was different then. His hair was not as long and he had a sense that made me feel calm when I looked at him. That’s why they put me in my cage. When they asked about our uprising, I looked over at him and he sat there with me with the sense of power. And we would both laugh at the men in brown boots until they gave up and put me back in my cell.

            However one day they didn’t put me in my cell. They took me out the second door in the questioning room. I was led down a long hall with walls and floors like the one in the other room and my cage today. The brown boots would make a loud sound as they hit the ground and the sound would echo like your heart as you walked down the hall. But still he was there walking with me looking strong and confident.

            They brought me to my cage and put me in. It was a small room with only a brown blanket to keep myself warm. The room was just long enough for me to lie down in. I guessed it was about 6 feet in both directions. I liked my new home. He was there to keep me company.

            The next day they took me out of my cage and into the questioning room. However, they didn’t ask me the usual questions of where our base was. This time the man in brown boots pressed a button on his panel. The door I usually come in from opened and another man in brown boots came in and strapped a collar around my neck. Again I was asked about my comrade’s positions and when I laughed with him the collar sent an electrical charge down my body. Again this happened when I laughed at the man in boot’s questions. After what seemed like an hour of electrical shocks they carried me back to my cage.

            Everyday this happened to me. But it changed within a month. When I would look over at him, he wasn’t so reassuring anymore. He was tired. His once strong aura was fading. And our laughter began to cease. Gradually my emotions faded with him. I lost his strength and then my own. Soon, by lack of will, I told the brown boots whatever they wanted to know. I told them anything they asked. And when I looked over at him, he looked defeated too.

            I was put back into my cage one last time. Then they forgot about me for a while. And I was left with him by myself. We would stare at each other, eat the food given to me by the men in brown boots, and then stare at each other some more. I was left in the cage all day and night without being asked anymore questions. 

I was left with only him and myself. He would not speak. Only sit on the floor and watch me through the polished white walls. “What do you want from me?” I would ask him. And he would stare and ask what I wanted from him. I snapped one night at him. We fought each other. I damaged the polished wall. And the shock came up from the floor and I fell. That’s when they took me to the private room with the wood walls for walk. And when I came back to my cage, the wall was fixed and polished once again. And he was there waiting for me, coming back from his walk too.

            I didn’t attack him again. And he didn’t attack me. We sat together and watched one another. We watched each other age for two years. Sitting in our cage, then we would leave each other for our walk, then return to watch each other again. We did that for two years. That is, until the night where I attacked him again with my nails.

            “Why did you let me do it?” I screamed at him that night. “You didn’t do it! I told them!” We both stood up facing each other. “No, stop I did it. And you let me do it. Why?” Why did he believe that he told the men in brown boots about our comrades? I told them everything they wanted to know. He sat there in his chair like me in mine and watched me do it.

            “Why? Tell me comrade! Tell me why you let me do it! Why would you let me become a traitor to our brothers? Why would you allow me to send them to their deaths?” He only mocked me with the same questions. And then I attacked him with my nails, and covered his face with my blood. I drew him the face he deserved. A face of a traitor made with the blood of a brother. And that’s when the shock came from the floor again, and when I was dragged out by the men in brown boots.

            After that it wasn’t the same with him and me. I didn’t look at him again for I didn’t open my eyes for sometime after the incident. Maybe he was trying to tell me something important. Maybe he was trying to tell me that we were about to be saved. For on the third anniversary of us being brought to this place, we were saved. Our comrades had come for me at last. They took me at night, like I was taken to this place three years ago.

            I was taken back to my town where I was born. My family was there waiting for me. My mother, Sasha, my sister Elisa, and my grandfather Adam greeted me at our town’s entrance. I was taken into their arms and led back through the snow to our little shack. They sat me down at our kitchen table and told me how the war was over. While I was in my polished cage the governments of Canada and Mexico helped to liberate our country from the Federation. We were a free country once again and the Federation was being finished off as we sat here at our table.

            However there was one problem. I was seen as a traitor to my country and my brothers. I gave the men in brown boots the information about my comrades. Our government was to put me on trial as a traitor to my land that I fought to free.

            I was found guilty and am currently being sentenced to a life in confinement never to see my family or brothers again. My new home is larger than the one I spent three years in. The walls are made of cement and the floor of carpet. They treat their prisoners well in their jails. I have an actual bed to sleep in besides the floor. I’m given blankets, and pillows. But best of all, I am away from him and can live the rest of my life in peace.

May 17, 2079

Dr. Jason Kebby

Washington Criminal Detention Center

Prisoner Log 11:36 PM

Mr. Nicholas Rickeets passed away tonight at approximately 9:45. He was 33 years old with the cause of death being an apparent suicide. Mr. Rickeets was found hanging from the ceiling fan in the cell wing’s bathroom hung by the elastic from his shorts and his bathing towel.

            We allowed Rickeets a shower tonight. In order to give him some privacy the guards were stationed outside of the single bathroom. Prior to his entry into the bathroom his shower was started before his entry. He requested a hot shower and the water was adjusted to his request. With no answer from Mr. Rickeets 45 minuets after his entry into the bathroom the guards entered the shower room.

            There they found Rickeets shut off the water to the shower. He had his hairbrush on the counter in front of a mirror where he used his towel to brush the condensation off away from the mirror in front of him. Written where he wiped the mirror clean, in blood was the phrase “A LIE TO YOURSELF IS A LIE TO YOUR FELLOW MAN.” Surrounding the phrase Mr. Rickeets appeared to claw at the mirror. Upon examining his body we found his fingernails were ripped off from the clawing. We believe the blood from the nails falling off was the blood used to write the phrase.

            Mr. Rickeets family was notified after the discovery and examination of the body. They took the body and left town. We have been unable to make contact with the family since their departure.