The song you can see above is terrible and I advise anyone not to listen to it. You have been warned.
That being said, hello, I am TheQuailman.
I was born as the third son of King Marty and Queen Cthulu in Hill Valey, Zimbabwe. I went to school there and made friends with a lot of awesome people, such as Doc Frankenstein, Paris Hilton and Aristotle. Oh, and Billy of course. IТm sure you have heard of them, except for Billy maybe.
After graduation, I used to freelance a little. I was the director of five premium porno movies (got two Oscars and a Golden Globe back then) and also played the roles of Devon Miles and KITT in Knight Rider (the costume I had to wear for the latter was a total biatch to put on). Some of you may ask: УHow in the world did you manage to be involved in a series that was made long before you were born?Ф ThatТs easily answered: I had and still have a time machine. It fell into my hands when I was fighting the alien invasion at the side of Duke Nukem. We fought to rescue this worldТs hoes and b*tches from the aliens and their oh so slimy tentacles. The Japanese made a lot of cartoons about the tentacles, but I tell you, it was way hawter in real life! Those were the daysЕ we used to kick ass and chew bubble gum.
Anyway, after I got bored with Knight Rider and the eighties, I went back to the future (or the present, if you wish Ц this shit is confusing) and started working on the Architeuthis. I released it into the oceans to scare the living shit out of the gnomes who terrorised the seas in their submarines. Do you see any gnomes in submarines nowadays? DidnТt think soЕ
I have also invented rhinoplasty, Coca Cola and Disco Fox, but thatТs a different story for a different day.
At the moment I am at home and enjoy life and visiting this web site. You can find me in EG and GG&A.