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stealstrings (2)
JayR_guitar (2)
Sunday, April 08, 2012

A message at 5am

Current mood: apathetic

Views: 508
Comments: 1
Right now i'm currently living in a beautiful corner of the world called the Pyrenees in the south of France. The weather is wonderful, the beauty is inspiring and the views are unforgettable. I came here with my parents as an escape from all of my problems back home; what with my course, not knowing what i want to do for the rest of my life and a growing problem of loneliness. I came here to seek a new lease of life, to forget about everything for a moment to take in the views, to stop and smell the flowers, say hello to the locals, to appreciate my parent's handiwork of the house while I've been away.

This is meant to be a time to relax, to forget about my temporary problems and feel the warmth of the everlasting sun,to listen to the birds singing their sweet melodies, to have my lungs filled with fresh air at last from living in the city smog for so long, to avert my eyes from the sad faces of once ordinary men that are begging for food top silence their pain from hunger, all the way down to the beauty of the full moon with its light descending down upon me to light the keys of the keyboard as i type in this solitary moment of peace and tranquility.

I came here for the darkness that i feel inside of my heart of my impending doom to be vanquished, for myself to reawakened into a new age in my life that is hopeful, confident and fearless. So i can awaken my full potential, my body, my mind and my spirit. To stand beside my friends, my family and the savior of mankind whom had died for my own freedom, to see them be happy and content, so maybe then i could help them one day if they're sharing my current fate.

But now i'm here, with everything i came to see, to hear, to smell, to touch and to taste right here in front of me; and yet, i feel as empty as ever. To know that things couldn't be more beautiful; even the galaxy is looking down upon me now like its aware that i'm here and its telling me to never give up hope, as if this is all a gift from God to me.

Yet, my demons are still here, making a mockery of my feeble attempts of escape, the bastards sending the messages that i cannot be freed, that i'm trapped forever in bondage, with anger, fear and stress being the anchors that the tethers are holding from. I feel so defeated in the knowledge that no matter how hard i try, i will never be able to reach the cure, the one thing that last summer gave me the strength to carry on, with God as my witness- my friends.

They're the only people who want to listen, who are capable of understanding what i'm going through, they are capable of showing me the beauty of the world along with God, so that for at least in this life there is a little peace of heaven deep within all of this madness. I've learned now that location alone does not provide a foundation to stand my two feet on, but rather my friends and my ultimate father, Jesus Christ.  They have the power for me to see the moon and the stars that descend upon me now, not as a symbol of my loneliness but as a symbol of victory and peace.

May my friends and my father deliver me from evil.

3:03 am - 1 comments - 4 Kudos - Report!
JayR_guitar wrote on May 4th, 2012 3:05am

That was awesome, man!


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