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Sunday, December 20, 2009

Invader Jim

[lyrics]- Low growl
(lyrics) High Scream/growl

There was a baby born one day
The doctor said "too nub! throw it away!
Baby Jim woke up in a creepy cave
Two big wolves staring, he smiled and waved
The wolves decided to take him home
They trained him well, made him their own
He learned to walk, talk, and play guitar.. All in a week!
Ripped apart spammers with his ****ing teeth!

[chorus x2]
Jim! Jim! Invader Jim!
He weilds his banhammaz with a mighty grin!
Jim! God ****ing damn, he's so ****ing win!

The ultimate mod of teh GB&C
He used to be nub, like you and me
Until he got the message that one day
"Hey Jim! U can haz modz! Wut u say!?"
Well of course, Mighty Jim said "YESH!"
Now he bans mother****ers right and left!

[chorus x2]
Jim! Jim! Invader Jim!
He weilds his banhammaz with a mighty grin!
Jim! Jim! Invader Jim!
God ****ing damn, he's so ****ing win!

He'll eat your soul, eat it on a roll!
[Jim! Jim! Mother****inging Jim!]
Now you're trapped, no where to go!
[Jim! Jim! Mother****ing Jim!]
Raised by wolves, raised to kill!
[Jim! Jim! Mother****ing Jim!]
He'll take you to dinner, then give you the bill!
[Jim!] [Jim!]

[chorus x4]
Jim! Jim! Mother****ing Jim!
He weilds his banhammaz with a mighty grin!
Jim! Jim! Mother****ing Jim!
God ****ing damn, he's so ****ing win!
6:07 am - 1 comments - 0 Kudos
Monday, August 10, 2009

It Lurks Inside

The creature lurks inside the shadows
Fight and plee, beg for your life.
You'll still merely die among the gallows.
Hiding within your inner thoughts
It feeds upon your misery and strife
Twisting and turning, it WILL consume you
You can fight it, but you won't prevail

For *I* am the beast inside your thoughts
I am the thing that has brought upon this drought
I am the hate you kept locked inside
I am the reason your hope has died
I am everything you hate, everything you love
You can't stop me now, I've had enough.
I WON'T tolerate benign ignorance
I want tolerate all your lies and bullshit
Look at what you've created, look at what you've caused
Just look at it all, give yourselves a round of applause
I'm sick of your shit, sick of your lies
I'll unleash the hate I've kept locked inside
I'll destroy this piece of shit you call a home
And then there'll be noone to blame but YOURSELF
Because the fault is your own.

7:42 am - 1 comments - 2 Kudos
Sunday, July 26, 2009

The laws of True Metal. I must administer them. *F

Current mood: True

1) Everything can be broken down into Boolean: True or False
Blasting classical music in your car is true.
Wearing leather pants at a show is false (unless you're an 80s rocker)
Children of Bodom are true.
Nu metal is false.
Waffle House is True
Midgets are true
Mr. T and the A-Team Van are True

2) Know the essential vocabulary and use it frequently or be dubbed false. Each word has general rules of usage and examples.

- You don?t buy something at the store, you obtain it.
- You don?t get good tone on your amp, you obtain good tone.
- "Dude, I obtained a bad ass CD today."

- You don't play a Children of Bodom CD in your car, you administer it.
- The "play" button on your CD player needs to be changed to "administer" or you will be dubbed false.
- "Check out this new riff I wrote." *administers riff*

Supreme (or Ultimate)
-Can be used interchangeably with "ultimate." Supreme is used to describe something's supremacy.
-RULE OF GRAMMAR: Once something is proclaimed supreme, then it is known as ultimate. You can not proclaim something ultimate, but you can proclaim it supreme.
-Today I obtained a badass CD. It was then administered. The horns were upped. Then I proclaimed it supreme.

-2nd to ultimate (supreme) or almost ultimate
-"Check out this riff, I think it is penultimate to the chorus riff."

-At all times you must be proclaiming things. (see above description of supreme)

-Deem is a supreme word. Example: I deem Limp Bizkit false.

-Upon greeting a fellow brother of metal you say "hail." All other greetings are false. Upon greeting a fan of the band Manowar, say "Hail Kill Hail."

- Metal is forged, not written.

- You don't hold your guitar, you wield it.

- Badass is the most badass word in the metal vocabulary. Can also be interchanged with "bad as f*ck."
- Any time that anything even remotely cool happens, you must proclaim it is bad ass.
- Example: Pissed off old ladies crossing the street with canes are bad ass!
- "I wrote a bad ass riff today." "Dude, that is bad as f*ck!"

-Cancelled is true. It is done in conjunction with flexing. You can cancel anything that is false.

Rules of administration:
-If you see something false, flex your forearm and proclaim "cancelled."

-You come home. Your little brother is blasting rap. You walk in to his room, punch him, flex, then say "cancelled," turn it off, and administer Children of Bodom. If he mouths off to you, proclaim him canceled, flex, and then proceed to beat his ass.

-You see a kid in a Limp Bizkit shirt walking down the street. Flex at said poseur and proclaim "cancelled."

-Anything that you can not live with out.

-You must print these rules and post them on your wall. This is essential
-It is essential that jamming takes place today

3) Flexing of the forearm or triceps.

Everything in life can be solved by flexing your right forearm or triceps. Flexing the triceps is penultimate to flexing the forearm. When flexing make the sound "pfffffffffffffffffffff" with a cocky look on your face.

- You are driving a car. Some old person cuts you off and drives slower than you. You honk and flex at them.
- Something bad ass happens. You proclaim it true and then flex.
- Someone in the grocery store looks at you funny, flex at them.
- Several times a day you must just randomly flex your triceps for no reason at someone.
- Every time you see a squirrel must flex at it.
- You live in Florida. A hurricane is coming. You flex at it. It is instantly owned and leaves you and Waffle House unphased.

4) Visit the Maximal Collision Website frequently:

Valgorth is the supreme true metal warrior. If you are uninformed in the ways of true metal, he will educate you.

5) Basic List of things that are True:

This is the essential list. Print it. Carry it in your pocket. When others question the trueness of something, administer this list.

- Waffle House
- Jamming
- Tone emitted from a Mesa Boogie amplifier
- Flexing
- Hot foreign girls with accents
- Metronomes and Scale Books
5:09 am - 1 comments - 2 Kudos
Wednesday, April 22, 2009

When Darkness Falls (UPON YOU) Crit please?

Current mood: depressed

Also, after my testing today, I took out a peice of paper, thought long and hard about what you guys said to me.. and this came out. :O
It's not perfect, but I really don't care

It's written from two sides of me, the suicidal side and the side that is trying.
When I was done and read it, It made me feel so much better. If it does the same for you, then my work is done.

When Darkness Falls

What will you do; what can you do
When all the little lies come true
Perhaps you'll find you're dead inside
You'll search yourself; try to find
All the little ties that [BIND YOU]
To your own made up reality,
But it's all just lies; why can you see
That all your lies are killing me

How come when you look into my eyes
You suddenly get paralyzed?
Don't be afraid of what I am,
It's all part of some twisted plan
A plan designed to [TEST YOU]
To find out how strong you truly are,
To try to shake you, try to BREAK you.
You can't turn back, you've come to dar
Don't ever forget who you are

Nowhere to run, Nowhere to hide
Sure you think you're dead inside
But suicides the BITCH way out
It goes against what you're all about
You're life may sting; You're life may suck
But there MANY people with much worse luck
So next time When Darkness Falls [UPON YOU]
Just remember my words, remember your friends',
And don't stop fightin' 'till the End!
12:49 am - 2 comments - 1 Kudos