RockStarTech

Im not like you before
you idiot!
I dont think that im better
You did not experience everything
that ive been through
You dont know anything
You always thing you know me
Im tired of that!
I hate you!
I’ve alwys hated you.
You dont know anything
You dont do all the things you tell me to
You cant assess people
You dont have a life
You cant even think right!
You think that all you know about me
is right…
I know that what you say SHOULD be right
But im not that stupid
Im not a shit head like you
Im not like the other kids
Im not like you
I dont want to be like you
Id rather live in shame
than be like you
Shit head!
I KNOW WHO I AM
I dont care
You’ve got nothing to be proud of
Why?
’cause im not yours…

NOW FUCK OFF!!

While I was trying to finish the draft of our “Legend” for English class, I accidentally closed the window..(Ossie) Luckily.. I saved it just a few seconds ago… Anyway… While I was looking for the damned file… I ran into this… At first… I thought it was a poem someone made and saved it (not me)… But after reading I recognized the writing style, the choice of words, TITLE and the theme of the poem… it sounded like me about 3,4 years ago! Here it is..

unrefined1.txt

I sat alone beneath this tree
And hell, no one even cared see
There were tears racing down my cheeks
I took a razor and looked at my hand

You know that I’m heart broken indeed
For you felt that my heart was in need
My mind decided that i should die
Then my heart went saying “good bye”

His face suddenly appeared in my mind
And then a girl  sat beside
I ran in pain, fell on the ground
The voice I’m hearing is the only sound

No more tears, blood went down
As if my eyes were completely drowned
I closed my eyes and waited for pain
Someone stopped me as it began to rain

He hugged me, close to his heart
His arms carried my soul out the dark
Eyes filled with love and care
It made me freeze right there.

-rst

“Monster”

I choose who I respect
I do what I want to do
I make my choices
No you

You make your rules
Hell I care
I’m at my happiest
When your not there

Set those aside
Let me think
Why was I a perfect child then
And now filled with hate?

A question until now has no answer
Is it you?
Is it I?
That I wonder

Why am I filled?
Why shouldn’t I dare?
Why am I angry?
Shit! You don’t care!

I want you to fuck off
Leave me in hell
Go for all I care
I will never get there

Is it just misery?
Or I wanna be free?
Is it history?
Or because you don’t trust me?

They’re rambling in my head
These putrid lines of hate
Now I ask once again
Is this a monster

for me to create?

-RST

“Labie 14″

I was walking on Labie 14
The old street I’ve been
Where I grew up
With a shattered beggining

Its been 15 years
Yet still nobody cared
They’ve moved on
But I was scared

Was not a face in the crowd
Was not there to be seen
Was not there to linger
‘Cause I’ve always been hiding

Under the shadows
Behind the walls
In the corners
Not there to call

In my return
I saw so many
All I know
None know me

..

-RST

“Promised to Be”

Its raining on me
Didn’t think it could be
but then you see
He’d chosen me

I remember that day
In mid May
When your love stepped out
When I took the other way

Under the moon
Below the stars
You said you loved me
I said it could not be

A moment of silence
A moment of peace
A moment of thought
I was not at ease

It was not easy
For I loved you to
But you are not for me
I will not push through

Early morn
Before the sun has risen
Before the day began
You sat next to me
And held my hand

You looked at me
like you’ve got something to say
But I had just finished thinking
It will not end that way

Why tell me now?
Why not then?
Why push me before?
Why find me today?

Of all those questions
Just one came out of me
Why tell me now?
When your already promised to be

You looked in to my eyes
I tried to make you see
Let you know I needed you
But we cannot be..

-RST