I swear... Things just keep getting worse. I am no longer safe when I sleep. I am no longer safe from misery in my dreams. I cannot "unwind" from the world if my heart keeps getting battered at night, when I am unconscious and unable to be free. I just keep getting sucked back into depressing memories. Fuck me.
Here was my dream I had... A half hour ago. Yeah, I just woke up right now.
Dream 1
The most vivd dream I had was... well, in my house. I was sitting on my couch, and all of a sudden, Mr.Schmidt comes into my living room. He says, "Man, those love birds outside really have to stop, you know?" I'm not so sure if that is exactly it, but I know 100% that the words "love birds" and "outside" were included. I went to look outside, and right there, on my fucking lawn, a person I used to be in love with (still going through a heartache, when I was SO FUCKING CLOSE TO GETTING OVER IT) making out with someone I knew from one of my classes. I turn away, and look back, I see them running into my house and trying to put their clothes on. Wow. So after being devastated by this, I sent myself back into my room to sit and think. Little did I know Mr. Schmidt comes into my room and tells me to stop being so damn depressed. He leaves, a "love bird" comes into my room. The one I used to be in love with. She just stands there, by the doorway, fiddling with her fingers. What was in her hands was a weed stem. Like, marijuana. Only, the real "love bird" in real life hates drugs. Ironic. For some reason, I grab a bong from out of nowhere and hide it near my closet. Mr. Fraser is sitting beside me on my bed. I don't even know.
Dream 2
I'm sleeping in my dream, by the way. As I grumble and get out of bed, I realize the clock says 3 PM. I jump out of bed and head for the living room. My mom tells me to read some kind of form. It was basically about something we bought, except drawings and children's cartoons were written all over it. I get really confused after a few minutes of reading, then I close my eyes.
The next time I open my eyes, I am in my bed again. I looked at my alarm clock, it read 3:50 PM. I get really really confused by this, so I go to the bathroom to take a piss. When I'm pissing, I close my eyes again.
When I open my eyes, I am in my bed again.
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