OMG, i hate 800 numbers. so, i'll be sitting at home watching TV like any other day, and the phone rings. OK, now i'm thinking, "i wonder who that could be. Oh, i know, it's the President of the United States, and he's going to tell me how i've helped my country by voulentiered to feed old people at the nursing home, and he'll give me a medal. Or, it's Tom Cruise telling me how cool I am. No, wait, I've got it. It's Chuck Norris and he's going to give me all his martial arts abilities and his super powers over the phone." So, i get to the phone, and i look at the caller ID. It's not the President, Tom Cruise, or Chuck Norris. It says it's the 800 service, and the number is 800-955-6600. So, i foolishly pick up the phone and say, "hello."
The man says, "hello, is the man or woman of the house hold home at the present time." He was trying to sound proffesional, but failling horribaly. I could tell he was one of those telemarketers in India who call 400 people a day trying to sell a toothbrush for a company they've never heard of on the other side of the world. So i hang up. 1 hour later, the same number calls, and i accedentally pick up the phone. later realizing it was the same number, but a different guy, i hung up.
Now they call us 20 times a day, and all those calls are done by different people. I know they are all different people because i answered the phone every time one day to see if it was a different person every time, and that was a really long day.
I was on the computer whene i thought, "i think its lunch time," being it was 12:00. So i thought to myself, "what should i have for lunch." Sudenlly, i heard a tiny voice inside me. I couldn't understand what it said, so i whent back to my lunch thinking. Then I heard it again, and this time i understood what it said.
It said, "hey Mike, this is your consciense, how are you. I know what you want, but do know what you want."
I said, "conscience, what do I want."
"You want a burrito precious, gollum, gollum," said my conscience.
"what kind of burrito do i want," i asked. Then after i said that, a angle apeared on my right shoulder and a devil on my left.
"you want a simple bean burrito," replied the angle.
"no," interupted the devil with a mexican accent, "you want a hot and spicy chilie burrito with spicy peppers and, oh, just the thought of this delicious burrito makes me all fuzzy inside."
The devil and the angle bickered for several minutes when Chuck Norris came rushing in the door. He round house kicked the devil and the angle. He then took them, smooshed them toogether, rapped them in a soft shell taco, and round house kicked them again and said, "try my been and cheese burrito, it's the best."
Now I'm sitting here, enjoying my burrito, thinking, "this is a d*mn good burrito. I love my burrito, and i always will."
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Not That Emo's blogs, last updated : April 28, 2008
h, did you get that at a chrysler dealership.
(unless you flick em off)
, and i always will
(lead singer of tool)