Well, it looks like I fucked up chapter 17 royally, by confusing the names of Benny (the high school girl from Guitargasm) with Carrie (the art chick from Our Man Evans). So basically long stretches of Gasm 17 make no sense, and all of the comments so far are like, who is who? What's with the names? So yeah, it's a mess.
I'll see if U-G can repost a corrected copy next week. Whatever. I'm working too hard at this shit, and even when I'm happy with the new posts, they're usually full of mistakes.
As always, I'll try and do better.
The good news? I'm meeting Ministry on Sunday. Expect to hear about that.
G'gasm 16 is up. I'm expecting some hard-core flaming for this one, as it is dialogue-focused and doesn't have any long solos or bar fights. Oh well. There are things I need to work into the story.
As for the predictions that were made in the comments of 'gasm 15, I'm sorry to disappoint everyone, but yes, the foreshadowing pointed straight to divorce, and that's what happened. I can't swerve on everything. A crumbling home-life was one of the reasons Jay tries to get Danny involved in music in the first place. That was established in part one.
Anyway, 'gasm 17 is coming soon, and should be both plot-oriented AND have wicked solos. And here's another spoiler that's only for my blog-readers. Guitargasm 17? Two words: Lady Endorphin. I bet you almost forgot about her, didn't you? Heh heh.
Just had a look at the Guitargasm Chapter Thirteen posting, and sure enough, it has got some glaring errors that quick minds pointed out. First and foremost, I screwed up the name of one of the bands in the story, referring to "Pattern Disruption" as "Pattern Distortion."
How could I make such a mistake about a band that I myself created? Well, mainly because I earn a living as a bare-knuckle boxer and get hit in the head a lot, but also because "Pattern Disruption" is a stupid and forgettable name. But that's what you've come to expect from my work, I imagine. One thing you can count on from a Nolan Whyte rock and roll story: awful, awful band names. Still, I'm not sure if "Pattern Disruption" is as bad as "Machine Within A Machine." (allsystemsgo, Hellakill, etc, etc...)
Another mistake is that I accidentally called the Indiana Pacers the Indianapolis Pacers. I realized that error after the story had been sent to U-G and tried to let them know, but alas, it was too late. Not many people seemed to care. I guess Pacers fans don't play guitar.
I'm a little confused why all the comments on the chapter seem to mention breasts. I guess this is some kind of internet game? A new trend perhaps? I'm so behind with these things. In fact, I don't even have a computer. I do all my work on an old-timey typewriter. Why? Because, some guy told me it would make me a better writer. I figure if I want to become a great writer I'll have to revert to even older technology, like a quill pen. If I want to win a Pulitzer or Nobel Prize, I'll have to go all the way back to cave paintings. Bottom line: the quality of your writing, apparently, is invertly proportionate to how recent the technology you use. Hmm. How about that.
Since I'm ranting and rolling here, I'll discuss the fact that some of my critics mention how I'm not as good as some other writers, living or dead. Certain names have been mentioned (Vonnegut, Bukowski, Palahniuk (ugh) and the Beats in general, for examples). You may wonder why this is, and so I explain to you: it would be easy to be the greatest writer in the history of everything, but it would be a much greater challenge to be not quite as good as the very best. It was in this way that Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard's father challenged his son, giving him the task of receiving the second highest marks in his school classes. It is thus that I strive, giving myself the maximum possible challenge. I mean, shit, anybody can be the best. It takes something really special to be pretty good.
On an entirely (or perhaps not unentirely) related note, someone asked why I make references to drugs in my writing. Do I endorse drug use? Do I have a long history of substance abuse? I will not answer these questions. I will say, however, that I can't quite remember the Seventies. I leave you to draw your own conclusion.
Well peeps, the new chapter is up and garnering some positive comments. A few people dropped some pretentious turds on it, but I actually view both of those big comments as props. Why? Because as near as I can figure, both guys signed up for U-G accounts just to make the comments. So clearly, these guys felt pretty passionately about what they read, even if they didn't really like it. If nothing else, I'm creating converts to the U-G cause.
So what does a rock fan sing to help put his baby to sleep? You need to sing something soft, something down-tempo, but not something sissy. So you go with Pink Floyd. Successful tunes so far? Wish You Were Here, Comfortably Numb, and recently added, Nobody Home. You need softness.
The wheels turn slowly to get the Guitargasm! chapters out there for you. Chapter 12 is done and in the pipes, but I know that the relative infrequency of the posting have slowed the story's momentum considerably. Hopefully times have not changed so much that simple rock 'n' roll stories are now irrelevant, but I guess we'll see.
Other things, like this blog and the gag bag (I mean mail bag) have been shuffled to low-priority status and left by the wayside. My apologies to those of you who sent in questions and received no response. Believe me, I had other pressing things on my mind.
Bottom line: G'asm 12 is coming. I'm still writing. More will be coming. If any of you still care. Cheers,
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Nolan Whyte's blogs, last updated : May 11, 2008
