Okay, to any of the fans out there who liked my early stuff, like Comeback Road, Guitargasm, or the first three quarters of Riot Band Blues, I suggest you take a moment to check out "Among the Humans," a new full-length novel I just published on the internets. It's available at Smashwords. You have to pay for the download, but use coupon code PR56E to get 50% off. The coupon is good until June 14, 2014.
Among the Humans is about Jerry, an hard-drinking hobo bird who is trying to get his life in order and build a career writing detective novels. He falls in love with the human girl next door and sees an opportunity to impress her when his lizard best friend asks him to help find a stripper that's gone missing with $5000 of the bar's money. Suddenly Jerry is playing detective, all while trying to figure out where his screwed up life is going.
It's dark and hilarious, like my best stuff. And I will say this right now: this is the best book I've ever written. This is my seventh novel (four are on U-G), and this is the first one that I think I could actually read for fun.
Okay, I hope some of you will check it out. If you're not sure, read the preview. It will give you an idea what it's all about. But if you want me to just tell you, here's what it's all about: drinking beers, getting girls, drinking wine, finding love, fighting crazy pro-wrestlers, drinking with hockey players, writing detective novels, loving beautiful artists, fighting douche-bags, living in a shed, being a bird, being a lizard, being a human and most of all, FITTING IN.
Give it a shot.
If you like it, please share this on your social media. It's a good book, and I really want it to find an audience.
If you're looking at this profile and this blog, you probably have some idea that I've written a lot of rock and roll fiction on this website. This includes the Big Four Novels, each awesome and flawed in their own way: I Sing When You Shut Up, Guitargasm!, Riot Band Blues, and the first, In The Van On Comeback Road.
Comeback Road, as I later retitled the first book, has been available as an eBook for a few years on Kobo and Amazon. I've just republished it so that it's now available on Smashwords as well, which means it can now be consumed on just about any type of device imaginable.
There's no new content added or anything like that, but if you do have the urge to drop $3.99 for a book to read on your phone while you ride the bus to your shitty job as a dishwasher while you save money to finally buy that Fender and start a band called "Death by Metal," then this is totally the book for you.
I see that some of you are still occasionally dropping by this profile to see what I'm up to, so I thought I would drop by and leave you all a message. I'm really busy with writing projects these days, and if any of you are actually curious about what I've got cooking, I want to make sure you can all find me!
First of all, I regret to say I have no projects planned for the immediate future here on U-G. After four rock'n'roll novels (one of which was reeeeeally long), I don't have much steam left for the genre. I am however, helping another U-G writer with his current projects.
You may have heard of Van Hammersmith (http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/Van+Hammersmith / ), who used to write the "Ask Van Hammersmith" humor/advice columns here on U-G. He now writes the column at his own little blog, http://askvanhammersmith.blogspot.com. I'm helping him out with that, because he's kind of an idiot with computers. I'm also helping him prepare a novel that he's working on, which will hopefully be available this summer. It's really dumb, but that's what Van is best at. It's about rock and roll, and aliens I think.
I'm working on a novel of my own as well. It's not rock, but it's a lot like my work from here on U-G: a sad loner who falls in love and tries win the girl of his dreams by doing great things. WARNING: this book will be extremely tacky, and will contain strippers, hockey, wrestling, drinking, a poet bird, a beautiful artist, nude chess, and a giant lizard. You have been warned.
A note to any longer timers still hanging around here, I'll let you know what I'm up to...
The "End City" novel has been completely reposted at endcity.blogspot.com and I'll now be posting new original fiction on that blog. The first thing is a fiction series with the working title "Dream Novel." It is a novel in the form of a dream journal. I'll be adding other short pieces of fiction or whatever, pretty much whenever I feel like it.
There is a plan for a new rock and roll fiction series as well, which will also go up at End City. If everything goes as planned, that should start sometime this summer, maybe in June or July.
I don't have any current projects planned for U-G, but I would like to get some short work up here on the site at some point this year. I'll let you know what's what.
As always, you can follow what I'm doing using my twiiter feed, @nolanwhyte
Part 12 of "I Sing When You Shut Up" is old news by now. If you've read it, you propbably noticed that it has no mention of guitars, or being in a band, or anything else that might make it fit in on a website like UG.
The other issue with the chapter was that it takes place in a strip club, and throughout the writing, I was forcing myself to hold back on the visual descriptions, so that it might not seem too over-the-top for a younger demographic.
As you can imagine, as a writer, it's tough for me to always tailor my work like this to fit the market where the work is being seen. I love working on UG, and I love the connection I've made with the readers here, and I'm glad I'll be continuing here for a long, long time.
That said, I'm also itching to do some work that is not restricted in either subject matter or content. That's why, when I'm done reposting the "End City" blog novel over at endcity.blogspot.com I'm going to be using that blog site to run new material. It will not necessarily be music fiction, and I will have no restrictions on how graphic the writing might be.
I'm going to try and repost the old "End City" stuff as quickly as I can, so I can get to work on some new stuff. I'll mention more soon.
I pooped out on bringing out a new fall series, and I'll be working on longer projects for most of the year, so I won't be doing anything new on U-G for a while. I'll still have my usual stuff over at my hockey blog, but you don't care about that.
The news is that while I'm at work on new material, I'll be reposting the sci-fi satire "End City" that I posted on my old site back in 2007. You can read the bloggy novel at endcity.blogspot.com
Tell your friends! And your enemies. And grandmama.
Okay, take care and stuff. Happy New Year. Cheers,
I'm prepping a new series for the fall. I had thought of doing a four-part summer story, but now I'd rather play it out to a longer story. Here's a short, unfinished chunk of what you'll be seeing in September or October:
Laura woke up at eleven o'clock. She was in no hurry to get up. The night before had been a disaster, with a bunch of fighting, her band breaking up, a bunch of pints at a noisy bar, and she got drunk enough that she very nearly ended up taking some absolute schmoe back home for meaningless frustration sex. At one point she caught herself thinking, yeah, I don't even like this, but what the hell, right? That was when she decided to slip out the door and catch a bus home.
Her mouth was dry and her head hurt, and she had to pee. Sleeping in more would not be possible. Sleeping late was difficult in her little apartment anyway, since she didn't have proper curtains in the main room, which served as bedroom, living room, dining area, work studio, rehearsal space, and anything else she could do at home. Her east-facing windows had only white venetian blinds, and during they day they let in as much light when they were closed as when they were open.
She got up and went to the bathroom. She'd gone straight to bed when she got home, without brushing her teeth or even getting undressed. Uncomfortable in her sleep, she had at some point wrestled herself out of her clothes, and she now found herself in the lilac-colored bar and panty combo that she'd worn out the day before. It was one of only two matching sets she owned, and she usually wore them out when she thought there was the possibility of hooking up.
It hadn't been the nameless schmoe at the bar she had in mind when she'd chosen the outfit the day before, however. She felt more than a little disgust with herself when she thought that it was for the bass player in her band that she'd dressed in her sexy underwear the previous night. Needless to say, thing had not gone as planned.
She peed, doffed the undies, and climbed into a hot shower. Then, after drying and brushing out the wavy black hair that fell halfway down her back, Laura dressed in a t-shirt and shorts and proceeded to her galley-style micro-kitchen for breakfast. She inspected the floor for ants, killed two, and put made some toast.
It was noon when her door buzzer emitted its harsh electric screech. Laura had been loading a yoga DVD into her laptop, and the sound made her jump. She'd been planning a all-day chill session, and someone at her door could only mean drama and unpleasantness. She was hoping for her apartment to be Fortress Laura for one single day, but with a sigh she acknowledged that she hadn't been getting anything she wanted lately, so there wasn't any point in hoping for the impossible.
I logged on today and I see that I've had 300 page views on my profile today. What the fuzz? I haven't done anything at U-G in months!
Or... maybe word got out that I've started work on a short series to be posted in the early summer. It will be a four-part story, I think. I've got about 1000 words done so far. Should be funny. I'm going to try and keep it very tight, instead of the rambling sprawl of Riot Band Blues.
No working title for it yet. When I have more details, I'll pass them on. Be well,
...and then, when you're not paying attention, The End rushes past and you realize that there actually are no ends. After the end, everything keeps continuing, whether you acknowledge it or not. Because things don't stop just because someone shouts "The End."
Okay, what the hell is he talking about? Simple: it's time to cut it off, sweethearts. Riot Band Blues needs to end, and it's going to end this week.
The story has been a lot of fun, and I created a lot of characters, scenes and situation that I couldn't have possibly planned before I started the series. Once the story was going, the drama created itself.
But it's been going for a very long time. When the process of writing the story began to feel like a real grind and it was getting difficult to keep the material both fresh and comprehensible, I realized the story would have to end. I would not be able to just run the story forever, so I decided to shut it down after chapter 100.
But as I've been approaching that goal, things haven't been getting better. If the story was to have a satisfying ending, I would need to build it up, creat a new, brief story arch that would allow for a bit splash and resolve all of the little subplots that had been introduced.
The problem is, I was no longer giving the story the serious time it needed every week to be able to bring about such a satisfying resolution. New demands on my time, plus the emotional burn-out of writing weekly chapters for nearly two years prevented me from doing it properly.
There is no rabbit to pull out of the hat here. There's nothing huge coming up. The story of Eric and Riot Band would continue forever the way it is going now: the band would advance and succeed, then suffer failure and embarrassment, learn a lesson, and then advance and succeed again, while possibly rearranging the lineup, meeting new people, having crazy adventures, and always ending a chapter with either a cliffhanger or a very vague resolution.
It could go on forever.
But it shouldn't.
Instead of stretching the thing out to one hundred chapters, and filling up chapters without actually adding to the story, I am going to end it this week. Chapter 91 will be the last. It ill be a quiet coda to the whole dinosaur of a story, hopefully bringing a little closure.
I don't think this story had as wide an audience as either Comeback Road or Guitargasm, but I know that there is a weekly core audience that has been incredibly loyal. The readers have always been very generous and supportive, but have also been willing to push me if they thought I wasn't doing my best, and I would like to thank them all for staying with me.
All I wanted for Riot Band Blues was that it be honest and realistic, and consistent in its quality and entertainment value. I didn't want to start phoning in half-assed work, but that's where I felt it was heading. The story peaked somewhere in the middle, I think. But that's okay.
Okay peeps, We're closing on on the BIG FINISH to this beast. Today Riot Band Blues chapter 80 went up today. If you've read this space before, you'll remember that I've planned to conclude the series on chapter 100, so we're almost there. Twenty more chapters to go (for perspective, remember that Guitargasm was only 30 chapters long).
Anyway, we're amping up to something here (I hope). Not sure what will be next, but we have lots of time to work that out.