I wanted to write something that
would pave the way for me
to loosen up, relax, and have fun doing nothing.
I don't know what the future will bring me,
and I have no eloquent words to bring you happiness.
It's a vain pursuit, really,
to bring you happiness.
I'm really just asking for you to say you love me,
say that I could make the world a better place,
or that I could do a bride justice
if someone ever found me to be loveable.
I know the regulars here will probably see this as
mindless, cliche banter. Well all the power to you.
You were right about me.
I'm not another poet in your little clique
though I tricked myself into thinking that I was.
I'm just a lonely lonely man.
There's nothing pretty about that stack of words I've piled up
(don't let the pretty font fool you).
In the end, they're just words
and if God taught me anything
i am just dust.
I need bones to latch on to.
While you're all going out into the world
earning degrees and making your personality
into a sprawling empire,
I'm drinking up every slight compliment you say like it's alcohol,
dropping into every conversation
to see if you want me there.
I don't expect anyone to read this,
let alone get this far.
If you have, you have the heart of a saint,
and you'll have a much easier time seeing through my bullshit
(including this sad attempt to get attention).
If you don't want to associate with me anymore, I understand.
This isn't here to win you over.
I don't care about winning anoymore.
I just want to ask you
do you know what I mean?