Angels, Demons, Voices And Cards (ADViCe parts 1-3
Current mood: crazy
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felt like posting this on my blog. its a series of peoms/songs (mainly phycadelic rock) not about a crazy person...believe it or not... its about the world in general, i'm just using symbols for various things. i'll post more but here is the first 4
P.S. I hope you like the way the character remembers thigns, organized by time, and time by color, and colour by good or bad, like certian words.
the series is called Angels, Demons, Voices, and Cards (lets call it ADViCe for short)
the cage he can not escape the bars he can not break
but the others tell me no so through insanity we row
the people walk right past ignore the lunatics they pass
the say that I am crazy and what I see is hazy
but the voicestell me no so through insanity we row
Part 3:
Angels and Demons No Ghosts
Now
Angels and demons, no ghosts
telling me what to do, the weirdest lies becoming true. It’s pointless to suppress the consequences of this stress.
War within my mind, to be torn in two, the past has passed.
Rid of my ghosts to keep my good and bad others call me mad. My angels and my demons taking control the shredding of my soul.
Angels and demons, no ghosts
telling me what to do, the weirdest lies becoming true. It’s pointless to suppress the consequences of this stress.
Letting go of my past healing the scars at last the sanity is gone, but the man's still hanging on.
Angels and demons no ghosts. Angels and demons, ghosts don't exist
trying to move on moving on through the fight past what's now gone for so long.
Moving forwards, past my padded walls. My angels and my demons. My sanity's fall. No more ghosts.
part4:
Angels andDemons, Voices and Cards( Oh My!)
Then Angels are flying, Sky is falling, Memories dancing, The demons calling. Total confusion, So alive, Decisions on hold, On chaos they thrive. I’m one card short, missing a piece, From the whole deck, Sanity’s cease.
Grey sky beckons Must stay on path Padded walls to hold me back. Time to face confusion’s wrath
Now
Skies aren't flying Angels are falling Memories dancing Accepted demons calling. Total confusion- -Never this numb, Decisions useless Why were we so dumb?
The grass is wrong, But that’s alright I’m not dead, yet not quite right.
Part 4: The Door Out
Before
Forever, you’ve been staring at the closed door You wait. While others watched you through it. The only thing you feel for the door is hate.
In the quickest instant of your young life the door swings open. And you run. You see inside the fighting and hate But your wait is finally done.
You twist yourself, And change, But something’s already changed you. You’ve become strange.
You changed yourself to fit in, But the world changed you first. You never killed and never stole. No, you’ve done something even worse.
You wish to tell the close ones. But the ones only you know Say that even the others, Will then throw you out and go.
You’ll, be waiting for a door that’ll never open once again. So you keep pretending While everyone watches you from outside the door Their Scrutiny, never stopping.
Like you. Never telling. About the ones they can’t see.
Stay. Inside. The room.
|------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------| more coming soon.
Hey, thanks for the crit, mate!
I actually really like this series. I've been falling in love with the concept album thing lately, and you hit this one on the head.
In the first piece, the only thing I don't entirely agree with is the word row.
I don't know why, but it just doesn't fit for me. It feels like row row row your boat or something.
On the part three, i love the final stanza.
That's an awesome bit. I love how he's not insane, but he's like trapped inside his head. I love it.
In whole, I'm liking the concept here, but I don't know if your character is progressing through the different pieces. It's like he's dwelling on the same thing. If thats the intent, then by all means, you nailed it. But if you're looking for an evolving character and storyline, then we're just a bit short.
But its an absolute great start. Make sure if you make any changes to post it to the forum so we're all alerted!
Out of space.
I assume your not looking for a full criticism and I'm glad 'cause I don't want to right now.
I think there crackin'! I might come back for some more reading soon so keep 'em coming.
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Angels, Demons, Voices And Cards (ADViCe parts 1-3 blog
I don't like it any more.)
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