Martyr's Prayer

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THE MONUMENT

hello, old statue
i always knew if it wasn't me it'd be you
standing tall with a smile
looking towards such a happy future
but you always knew

and it's been ages since i built you
to be a monument to all i would do
i always thought
it's been so long since i built you
to be a milestone to all i would do
i always thought

and the precious stones you're made of
mined from a shallow brook
i saved them for you and spared goliath
i chiseled them into a smile of my likeness
was it always so blemished?

now i stand tall with that weathered smile
looking towards such a happy future
i'll remain unmoving as goliath roams free
i always knew this would be me

it will always be
who can turn stone to living flesh?

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narrow roads under mossy oaks
life felt so endless
floating on untied shoes and rusted spokes
as i sit here some years later

22 is still so young, they say
and i know life is very good for me
but my bike is gone and the oaks have fallen
and home is so far away
from here

cold thanksgiving week
sitting in forts, surrounded by trees
how brittle but crisp
shapeless but pleasant
was the brown leaf canvas
on which our young lives were painted
with colors we thought would never fade

5 years ago this fall
we sat in a brick shrouded booth
after twenty-four hours of paintball
and it turns out we had to grow up after all

the palm trees rustle in the wind
crickets chirp
fish are splashing
and the colors aren't as bright as you may think
but i wouldn't trade this evening site for anything
because here i feel home

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MILEAGE

i watch the world burn down
and the questions begin
how much longer can i survive?
as the flames rise
smoke fills my eyes

i break the surface for one last time
somehow i see through lifes lies
now i see the sky
and the light floods my vision
now through open eyes

i realize
how i've sank so very far
how we've grown so much apart
the sky meets my eyes
it gently shows me
all i left behind

so many places ive been
yet all to one destination
like everyday in a life
counting down to execution

you knew what i would become
you know what my mistakes have done
and now that i've gained new vision
i cover my eyes
such a failure
such a disfigured life

now in the midst
of a world up in smoke
my deformities revert
and now the fears of failure
completely shatter
bring back what matters
don't i still know you, lord?
cure these phobias forever

i open my eyes
the flames are gone
and i see the sky

it seems empty now that you're here

you knew what i would become
you know what my mistakes have done
yet your love for me
betrays all failures
it is unending