Yngwie Johann Malmsteen(congealed by Swedish crack chemists as Lars Johan Yngve Lannerbäck on June 30, 1963 in Stockholm, Sweden) invented Neo-classical metal. This is the story as I see it behind the entire thing. As a cocaine addicted infant, Yngwie stole a guitar in hopes of gaining coke money for it. But before he reached the pawn shop, he saw a news special on the death of Jimi Hendrix. Little Malmsteen had never seen a specticle this great since he watched 2 fat kids fight over a piece of cake. Yngwie simply couldn't resist this phenominon that was playing on the television before his face. Yngwie began the great phase of learning. He progessed fast, unlike us normal people, where we suck for months and months. Yngwie established dominance before age 10. When he was 14 Yngwie embarassed classical players of high stature. Throughout the 80's Yngwie put out amazing albums such as, Rising Force, Marching Out, and many others.
Then, according the online genious that is Wikipedia, "In 1987, another singer, former Rainbow vocalist Joe Lynn Turner joined his band. That year, Malmsteen was in a serious car accident, smashing his Jaguar XKE into a tree and putting him in a coma for a week. Nerve damage to his right hand was reported. During his time in the hospital, Malmsteen's mother died from cancer. In the summer of 1988 he released his fourth album, Odyssey. Odyssey would be his biggest hit album, mainly because of its first single "Heaven Tonight"." Way to go Yngwie. But this didn't slow him down. Malmsteen just grew a third leg so he could kick more ass. A mutaion in the morphine and the nerve damage gave him brilliant picking abilities. As a matter of fact, this is probably one the reasons why he kicks so much ass.
Then, 5 years later Yngwie gets into some shit AGAIN. Wikipedia says, "In 1993, Malmsteen's mother-in-law, who was opposed to his engagement with her daughter, had him arrested for threatening her with a shotgun and holding her daughter against her will. The charges against Malmsteen were dropped when he denied the incident."
Yngwie plays the wackest shit ever. His axe of choice is an ever-so-appealing piss yellow strat. Although I can't really blame him, all they had around back then was Stratocasters and Gibsons. He uses DiMarzio HS-3 bridge, and signature YJM pickups in the middle and neck positions with the mid pickup disconnected and the tone knob disconnected. Now Yngwie is married to some April broad and has a son named Antonio after Antonio Vivaldi, the respected classical musician. There is an expected release of Yngwie's unnamed album featuring Tim 'Ripper' Owens, the badass that replaced the fag in Judas Priest.
As you can see, Yngwie is the greatest that ever lived. We don't only love him for his incredible genious on guitar, but for the hilarious antics that he imposes on the world. The drunken rants about Doughnuts and gays. The random screaming in people's faces. The late night lesssons with team and booze. We can't forget the amusing facial expressions that can be seen in EVERY video ever taken of him.
Apearantly Sam Ash is having an anniversary with Yngwie. They wrote a very kind, buy-this-shit advertisement that is way to nice for Yngwie. Unless he somehow lost the itch to be a dick to everybody.
How he ever got married is beyond me. I wonder what his kid is like.... But that is beside the point. Yngwie is God, plain and simple. Goodnight.
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Yngwie Johann Malmsteen blog
He uses DiMarzio HS-3 bridge, and signature YJM pickups in the middle and neck positions with the mid pickup disconnected and the tone knob disconnected. Now Yngwie is married to some April broad and has a son named Antonio after Antonio Vivaldi, the respected classical musician. There is an expected release of Yngwie's unnamed album featuring Tim 'Ripper' Owens, the badass that replaced the fag in Judas Priest.
