LetTheBassPlay

My Past

Oh joy, the skeletons in the closet that I dont have.  those are always the great ones.  And lately, as in the past couple of months, the way I treated people while I was in Conyers, and the things that I did while I was there, it came crashing down on me on how much of a rough/bad/horrible person I was for that.  I was another victim of society, a mindless drone filled with the ideas that he could make it as a musician if he tried hard enough and stepped all over the right people, focused only on himself and his instant gratification.  I just sit back and think "What the hell was I thinking"  But I just move on because I was stupid and careless in my middle school and early high school career, but I feel like an asshole for it. 

I mean, what if I didn't date Shaunna(No offense to you dear, I love you much) I mean, would our friendsihp have been so much stronger instead of us hating each other for a year, then realizing our fighting was stupid? Or what if I hadnt been so mean to people while I was there?  Would I have had more friendships with stronger bonds?  What if I had the values in my 7th grade year that I have in my 11th grade year?

My Present

Ah, my life right now.  its a mix of amazing and rough. I'm fighting to keep peace with myself within my own head.  I keep saying "JR, you can justify your actions in your past by saying that you were young, stupid, and thoughtless", but then my other side says "JR, you can never justify your actions. Nice job, screwup" So its been setting me off mentally.

And I see my world around me changing drastically.  My increased involvement in religion has really been helping me out lately, and I thank God for that. Otherwise, he only knows what would be going on inside my head. but life has become a lot more peaceful for me, a lot more relaxed where I can get out and enjoy the world around me.  I've found that the territory is beautiful(and especially one of the girls here ), the people are great, and its a much safer place than Conyers was.

My Future

My future begins with the rise and crash of a sugar high inducedd by Betty Crocker's Whipped Vanilla Cake frosting, 1500 calories of pure, artery clogging, heart-attack inducing sugary goodness. But it just hit me a couple of weeks ago: JR, you're graduating in a year and a half. You're going to college, into the real world, and it smacked me across the face.  I'm just like...wow, I just got into a new comfort zone, and by the time I'm truly into it, i'll be ripped out of it.

but not just college, but the life afterwards. I mean, i know whatever I do, my bass will be somewhere, whether I do it just for shits and giggles, or a solo act.  but right now, I keep jumping careers and what I want to do with the rest of my life.  My parents keep pushing naval academy so that i can get into the engineering program and do that, but I really dont know if thats what I wanna do.  I mean, i knwo i'm in high school and i'm supposed to enjoy life, but how can I when the future is coming at me with the fury of 12 angry ex girlfriends which chainsaws.  oh joy.

But yeah, now you know a bit about whats going on in the head of a bass player.  So I hope you're not confused if you've ever thougth what i've been thinking.

Damn you Betty Crocker, you heart attack inducing whore.

Much love,

The Fighter, The Friend, the Bassist.