I've finally gotten around to writing a new blog, it actually took me that long to think of something worth reading. It's a topic that lightly impacts everyone in some way- infuriatingly bad lyrics. I'd like to take this preface as an opportunity to recognise that this topic is subjective, and that these are opinions stated in a way that is intended to amuse, not offend.
I know, I have to write a disclaimer.
The categories I have identified when it comes to terrible lyrics include simplicity, lacking literary technique, being too literal, excessive rhyming/repetition/using lacklustre words to maintain a rhyme, using cliches as lyrical motifs, and using extremely mundane themes.
As you may have noticed, a song may run over one into another category into a bevy of lyrical offences. The following are songs as examples of literary fast food- palatable for many but never good for a person. These may be consumed in moderation, or, if you will, they sit at the top of this metaphorical food pyramid. And we begin.
Simplicity Fly Away - Lenny Kravitz I wish that I could fly Into the sky So very high Just like a dragonfly I'd fly above the trees Over the seas in all degrees To anywhere I please Oh I want to get away I want to fly away Yeah yeah yeah Oh Lenny, who of us hasn't wanted to be a bird and just fly away from the problems and complications of modern-day life? Hang on a second- is that your point? What is your point?
Lacking literary technique, or any technique for that matter besides being blatantly sexual and rhyming I Kissed A Girl - Katy Perry No, I don't even know your name, it doesn't matter You're my experimental game, just human nature It's not what good girls do, not how they should behave My head gets so confused, hard to obey I kissed a girl and I liked it The taste of her cherry chapstick I kissed a girl just to try it I hope my boyfriend don't mind it When a food lacks substance, it always makes up for it in taste. Sadly, Ms Perry fails to deliver anything worthwhile besides an overt attempt at sexuality so blunt that it seems she needs to look up the meaning of subtlety. My God, girl, if you're a singer surely you can get by on your talent! The marketability of this one pains me- and surely reveals the essence of many pop anthems. Ka-ching.
Being too literal Pictures of You - The Last Goodbye Pictures of you, pictures of me Hung up on your wall for the world to see Pictures of you, pictures of me Remind us all of what we could have been …As if we didn’t already realise the significance of a photograph, The Last Goodbye felt the need to reiterate that for us all. Taking things at face value seems to be the name of this game.
Taking clichés to extremes Listen To Your Heart – Roxette Listen to your heart When he’s calling for you. Listen to your heart Theres nothing else you can do. I don’t know where you’re going And I don't know why, But listen to your heart Before you tell him goodbye. Based upon a cliché, this little beauty repeats empty sentiments so limited in creative reach that it could easily be the next 'Old McDonald's Farm'. This is so sweet and soppy someone could easily mistake it for the result of a roller coaster ride after a bit too much fairy floss…
Excessive rhyming/repetition/using lacklustre words to continue a rhyme This Is Why I’m Hot – Mims This is why I'm hot [x10] I'm hot cause I'm fly (fly) You ain't cause you're not (Mims) This is why [2x] This is why I'm hot [3x] Shorty see the drop Ask me what I paid and I say yeah I paid a guap And then I hit the switch that take away the top So chicks 'round the way they call me cream of the crop If only this was the entry for being literal. If this is a clear reflection on the intelligence of even a fragment of society, I weep for our generation.
Using extremely mundane themes Lip Gloss – Lil Mama They say my lip gloss is cool My lip gloss be popping I'm standing at my locker And all the boys keep stopping What you know 'bout me? What you [repeat] Mac mac Loreal yep 'cause I'm worth it Love the way I put it on so perfect Wipe the corners of my mouth so I work it When I walk down the hallway they can't say nothing Oh oh oh my lips so luscious The way I spice it up with the mac mac brushes Loreal got the most watermelon crushes That's probably the reason all these boys got crushes. Good thing we're already in the ghetto for this one, that way it's easier to get shot and spare yourselves from this drivel. Perhaps even scarier than the sheer magnitude of Lil Mama's pressing desire to know what you know about her, is the fact that this monstrosity apparently took three people to write.
Le_Bunny’s most hated lyric So What - Pink. I got a brand new attitude And I'm gonna wear it tonight I'm gonna get in trouble I wanna start a fight So, so what, I'm still a rock star I got my rock moves and I don't need you And guess what, I'm havin' more fun And now that we're done I'm gonna show you tonight The waiter just took my table And gave it to Jessica Simps I guess I'll go sit with drum boy At least he'll knows how to sing Watch out everybody, a skinny midget girl wants to start a fight. Time to crack out the corpsepaint, this one is so hardcore. Apparently so hardcore that she has to advertise her in-your-face attitude in - ahem - her own song. Sure it's a marketing angle but this is just ridiculous. Funnily enough though, despite her claims to be a rockstar, this song is clearly pop which ironically puts her on par with the other "stupid girls" she so spitefully condemned in her other hit.
The Wheelchair Award (Lamest Song) You Found Me –The Fray Early morning The city breaks I've been callin' For years and years and years and years And you never left me no messages Ya never send me no letters You got some kinda nerve Taking all my world Lost and insecure You found me, you found me Lyin' on the floor Where were you? Where were you? I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE, The Fray, I do indeed. You can tell they were trying to be witty and inventive, I'll give them that. The thing is, I found this song to be overworked, and based on an idea that was kind of stupid to begin with. I bet it sounded damn good when jamming with the band- surely all of us have written a lyric of this calibre, but what makes that ok is that we never record these ideas, they never come to life. What I'm saying is, kill it. Kill it with fire.
In amidst the seemingly never-ending barrage of songs with dreadful lyrics, to identify some as such has brought me a little relief- to speak things I’ve thought and never had the chance to express. Though I recognise I may have come off as a little cynical, critical or even discriminatory, be assured that any such qualities are only reflections upon the work, not the individuals.
If you feel you have any other thoughts on these or other songs in regards to their lyrics, don’t hesitate to reply in the comments. I hope this provided you guys with as much entertainment as I experienced writing it at work. Oh and, flameshield engage.
Sometimes the words don't mater I guess. Production trumps all in this world we live in, if it ain't shiny and flawless, nobody will buy it.
Such a great blog! Thank you. Now I am going to have to go and re-write all my songs.
There's some new pop song that's got lyrics about "romeo and juliet" and how their parents won't let them get married and they have all this trouble to start with but in the last verse romeo says "marry me juliet" and it's oooooh sooo sweeeet. exactly why I hate so much pop. That Pink song annoys me too, when she claims to be a rockstar, and I thought no-one would fall for that but kids at school actually tried to tell me her music is rock. I tried doing a bit of a jack black school of rock thing with them, they still don't know who Led Zeppelin is though, everyone seems to think it's just one guy and not a band. C'mon, who would be called Led?
Intreaguing indeed and I must say I tend to agree... but the question is, what would you laud above all as being some of the BEST lyrics humanity has to offer?
Zaphod, good question. I think that would be as subjective a matter as the 'worst' lyrics are- but I personally enjoy the lyrics of Bright Eyes, City and Colour and Mewithoutyou. To reverse my six categories a very good song would need to be complex, with masterful literary technique, abstract in theme, original, flow well, and to be profound. I suppose it's more than that; genius sometimes cannot be described.
What about Notorious B.I.G. in the 'Why would you even say that!?!?' category? in 'What's Beef?': Don't they know my nigger Gutta fuckin' kidnap kids | Fuck 'em in the ass and throw 'em over the bridge
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