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TechnicolorType (2)
Wednesday, January 19, 2011

A Short UGer's Guide to Being Butthurt

Current mood: accomplished

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Comments: 2

A Short UGer's Guide to Being Butthurt.


So you have posted your very first recording, hoping to get responses that prove you are the greatest guitarist ever created by God's own two hands. Congratulations, you are on the fast-track to finding yourself Butthurt!

On Ultimate-Guitar.com, we here in Recordings want to see you GROW as a musician and as a person, and hope that you never settle for a version of either yourself or your music that is sub-par or less than your best. This, of course, leads to some problems; especially evident with our new users and our Egomaniacs. They may feel that such criticism is either:

a) Wrong

b) Unfounded

c) Out of Place


d) Unnecessarily Harsh

These users are experiencing a simple emotion labelled in the outside world as either embarrassment or anger, but for our purposes we will simply lump them into one term called 'Butthurt'

So You're Feeling Butthurt!

Now, the first thing that you might consider is vengeance or retribution against the user that burned your ass. Stay away from this path, as it will only lead to more severe serving! At this point, you have two options:

1) Quietly take the suggestions of the user, and upload new material to reflect a growth in music

2) Quietly disregard the poster's suggestions, claiming a moral stance against changing any of the music. State that the music 'spoke to you', and claim that you're 'pushing the boundaries' on acceptable audio. Then quietly make all the suggested changes and re-upload in a few months.

The second path is notably trickier than the first, and requires a great deal of cunning and timing. Your best bet is the first.

Guitar Tones - Why We Can't Listen

This is a simple section. If it sounds like a bandsaw, it sounds like shit. Moving on!

A Troll Has Appeared! What to do in the Event of a Major Butthurting

So a user has made that magical transition from recording forum junkie to ENORMOUS, EGO-FUELED TROLL. There aren't very many options for you here. You can either...

a) Feed the Troll


b) Starve the Troll

Now, everyone knows that troll's stomaches are exactly the same, biologically, to a pigeons. The idea behind option a is to feed the troll with rice to the point of bursting. In the same way that the pigeon cannot belch, a troll cannot inflate his ego indefinitely. After so much time feasting on the hatred and anger of other users the troll finds himself engorged to the point of bursting, with no hope of relief. 

This is the time to strike. With the report button. Do it. NAO!

Option b is very straightforward. Ignore the troll. The concept behind this is that Trolls are similar to cultivated plants, and will wither and die if not given enough attention. Though much less fun, this option saves other users from finding themselves butthurt, and prevents the spread of the trolling disease.

This has been a Short UGer's Guide to Being Butthurt! I hope to see you again, with the stick that was lodged up your ass SAFELY REMOVED!

11:22 pm - 2 comments - 2 Kudos - Report!
TechnicolorType wrote on Feb 12th, 2011 8:06am



Symphonica wrote on Apr 20th, 2011 5:32am

I love you. This is beautiful.


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