So lately Ive seemingly gone beyond the entire 'kill me' thing... Well, I still do that, but now Ive started to send webcam to people so they could see me smiling while spinning a scalpel in my fingers.
Of course with the shit quality of webcams (specifically mine) and the choppiness of webcam transfers on msn, they only see a metallic blur.
Of course this is to get them to ask what that is. In the darkness of a pitch black room, the only light being the laptop monitor, all they see is portions on my face, my hand, my teeth, and a spinning blur. I slowly turn the blade from its front profile, slim and invisible, to its side profile and back, giving a reflection from the monitor lasting moments.
I use this to my advantage as they always tell me to put it away. I cover half my face and smile with one open hand, as I go from my forehead to chin whilst laughing. The idea it gives people is concern and caution about the situation, the idea it gives me is that its funny.
I proceed to hold the knife upside down in mid air, threatening to drop the blade end on my body. Of course, this disturbs most people, so I think about it a few moments before deciding to spin the scalpel once more, only this time, I spin the blade. It irritates the watcher, but they cant help but watch as I type with my free hand a metaphor involving reaching the end of the scalpel, the blade, slowly as it spins in my hand.
I stop spinning. I put the blade in my mouth. The watcher grows increasingly aware of what is happening. They try to tell me to take it out of my mouth. But its too late, I already pulled it past my cheek, stretching my lip and cheek a good inch beyond my mouth. They close conversation, webcam and all.
While it may be thought of as trying to get attention for my good deeds, it is not. I merely talk about cutting, death, and suicide for the fun of it. The Kira thing for the creepiness of it, and the idea of merging the 2 for Halloween for the lulz. I do not wish for the attention, as there are easier, safer ways to get it. I just wish to fuck with everyone as I see fit. And people are getting desensitized.
Either I do something outrageous and detestable, or they see what I am capable of early on.
All this is drastically different to my autocad helper personality I display to the same people I mess around with
I took it upon myself to get peoples opinions on the things I do, and so far...
Im the weirdest person 2 people have met
Im borderline freak to a jerk
Im psychotic to this one guy
Someone found me creepy at first, but grew used to it as we talked
Someone thinks the creepiest thing about me is that Im so helpful o.O
Another thinks Im playing a dangerous game
And 2 people think something bad will happen soon.
I cant wait for Halloween
Lol @ the metalheads responses to my actions though, you would think people who listen to death metal would be tolerable towards trying to make a joker of oneself.
*The above is unedited and Im a bit poisoned right now. Things that dont make sense are not my fault, they are yours.